Comfortable Me

 It had been a long day full of working in the yard in the North Carolina heat. Our heat is heat you swim around in—thick, humid and dehydrating. My body finds extremes harder and harder as it ages and a whole day on my feet against the elements quickly saps my energy. But all along I kept pushing myself while I mentally reminded myself that at the end of it all, there would be rest and comfort.

Shedding my sweaty, dirty clothes, I stepped into a cool shower; washing away heat, dirt and weariness. Even just this simple process of getting clean began reviving my spirit. My favorite lounge clothes, a soft blanket on my couch, and a cold drink made me sigh with relief. This was what I had pictured all along, waiting for me at the end of the day. It's what pushed me through when I felt like quitting and putting off the work for another day.

Comfort has been a topic that has been popping up in my life lately. I've had devotionals focus on it and a sermon about it this past Sunday. It's made me pay attention to the topic and give it some extra thought. Comfort is something my body and spirit crave, yet when I think of Jesus' life here, He had very little of it. Jesus was often weary as people clamored for His attention and rest was not in abundance for Him. As far as personal comforts, we know He had little of that as well, knowing the work His Father sent Him to do was the focus of His life and ministry.

We never read that Jesus was grumpy and rude because He was not comfortable. He didn't act poorly because He was too hot, too hungry, or tired. But I do. I have a strong desire for comfort and when I lack it, I often become upset and cranky. I think one of the biggest reasons for this is because I'm selfish in nature—I feel entitled to feel comfortable and when I don't, I get irritable.

Comfort isn't wrong, it's just that my thoughts about it often get turned around a little. God doesn't dislike the fact that I appreciate my bed, a warm shower and a good meal—but I'm not actually entitled to those things; they are a blessing given to me from His gracious hand. My thoughts of comfort should instead be "others oriented". That means that my motivation for comfort should shift from myself, to the comfort of people around me.

I think of the many times people have ministered to my need for comfort when I've been upset or sad. They have sat with me, prayed with me, and brought things to me that would offer care and love. There is nothing like the hug from a loved one when we are faced with something emotionally challenging. A warm meal dropped off from a caring friend offers comfort that is hard to match. These are ways we can comfort others and in doing so, be more like Jesus.

The Holy Spirit has many names—one being Comforter. I cannot even begin to name the ways He has proven this to be true in my own life. His Word is full of comfort and encouragement and I've leaned heavily on Scripture to receive His comfort. Being able to pray to the Father gives us a great source of comfort and relief. The simple act of laying our burdens at His feet means laying aside troublesome thoughts and resting in His ability to handle them all for us.

While I'll forever be a gal here that longs for a soft blanket, a comfy spot to rest a while, and a warm fire on a cold night, I hope my thoughts of comfort shift. I hope that I'll realize how important it is to seek the comfort of others above my own. May I be a source of comfort to those around me that have real needs and desire someone to draw alongside and just offer them love and care–even if it costs me my own personal comfort to do so. If I stay in my place of comfort, I'll not be used in the capacity that God longs to use me. I must throw aside that soft blanket and cup of coffee and really see what's going on around me. Only when I put aside my own comforts will I be able to actively pursue meeting the needs of others. May God help me to be less selfish and more of a servant.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, ESV).

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18, ESV).

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, help me shift my focus for personal comfort to meeting the needs of those who need comfort from me. Help me to follow Your example and offer love and encouragement to those who need it most. In Your name I pray, Amen!

Forgiving Me

     It's a little weird how we are wired, isn't it? I set different standards for myself than I do for others, and I bet you do too! I've forgiven others for a long list of hurts against me. I've forgiven lies, physical assaults, hurtful words, betrayal, theft, and adultery. When I say I have forgiven those things, I really mean it- it isn't forgiveness if I'm keeping track and holding on to a grudge over it. But when it comes to my own hurtful words or actions, they plague my mind for a very long time. Why does it sometimes feel easier to forgive others than it is to forgive ourselves? I have figured out the answer for me, but first let's look at a story from about 8 years ago.
     Most days, I would say I'm a pretty decent mom. I passionately love my kids. They were a true gift after a battle with infertility, and I feel blessed to be their mom in many ways. But teenagers can get to the best of us- especially smart-mouthed teenagers. One day, my son had pushed about every button he knew to push with me. While I am a firm believer in proper spankings, I have never crossed the line. But this particular day, I punched my son in the arm. To be honest, I doubt that it really hurt him physically, but I knew it was inappropriate and uncharacteristic to my usual parenting style. Did I apologize? I most certainly did. Did he forgive me? Absolutely. Did I forgive myself? Well- that took some time, for sure. 
     Inside the best Christian, is the same human rot that plagues each one of us- sin! I'm no less prone to it than the next person. I am going to mess up. I am going to make mistakes. I am going to hurt people with my words and actions because even though I am a Christian- I'm still battling my flesh. But what I've discovered is something that further exposes my weaknesses. When I struggle to forgive myself, it's because my pride hurts that I'm less than perfect. I may expect weakness and failure in others, but am shocked when it springs forth from my own behavior. 
     When I have sinned, there are three parties needing an apology from me. The one(s) I hurt, God, and myself. In turn, each should forgive a sincere apology. We know God will, we hope they will, and it's in our own power to truly forgive ourselves. While we may not apologize formally to ourselves, we can set ourselves free from the guilt of the offense, knowing we are forgiven (provided we apologized). People often ask us about forgiveness regarding our own journey through infidelity. We both will tell others that it is often more difficult to forgive ourselves, than it is to forgive our spouse. Forgiving behavior, choices, and words that divided us, is tough- but accepting forgiveness for our own wrongdoings is a choice we must make in order to move forward in a healthy way. Learning to forgive- even ourselves- is a pattern we learn by the way our Heavenly Father forgives us. True forgiveness sets us free- and that needs to start with me! Whatever you've done, it's never too late to make it right. Apologize, then let it go. God has given us freedom in releasing our sin, knowing His blood covers it all! Release yourself today from the guilt of the past, knowing He covered it all. Today is a new day- let's go forward with a clean conscience and a fresh perspective!

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 ESV
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1 ESV
I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD," and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah Psalm 32:5 ESV
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Romans 3:23 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to truly let go of the sins of my past. Help me to set myself free from the chains of guilt regarding past choices, actions, and words that hurt You, and others. Help me to be forgiving in nature to others that hurt me, but also to myself. Thank You for shedding Your precious blood that covered each one of my sins, setting me free from Your righteous judgment! In Your precious name I pray, Amen!

Sunday Relationship Post- Complimenting One Another

     I am honored to know a lady that makes everyone feel like a million bucks. Elsie goes out of her way to make everyone feel special, beautiful, loved and appreciated. If you are blessed with knowing her, you know how amazing she is. Being around someone like her leaves you feeling positive and full of smiles. Why can't we all be more like my friend, Elsie?
     In a relationship, compliments are important. Whether you compliment each other's looks, accomplishments, cooking, or new outfit, compliments feel good, and make you feel cherished and appreciated. If you don't compliment your spouse, someone else will. Why would we want our husband or wife to be complimented by others, and not by me? We all have a need to feel wanted and appreciated, and we especially need to feel that with our life partner. 
     Make a point today to compliment the one you love. The more you do it, the better you will feel. Don't worry about keeping score- they make take a while to catch on. But if you do feel neglected and need complimented more, don't be afraid to have a conversation about it. Often times, we get so busy doing our own thing that we forget to speak kindness to those we love. It isn't good enough to think it- we need to make sure we are saying it!
     God made us with a need to feel loved and appreciated. While He does love us- so very much, if we are in a relationship, we should be expressing the things our spouse needs to hear. Just as God reminds us of His love for us, we need to show that same kind of love to others. So let's try to be more like Elsie to a world that needs to smile more, and feel loved and appreciated. And why not start with the person who needs it the most from you- your spouse. Let them know today how much they mean to you, and what it is about them that you love. It only takes a simple compliment to turn a bad day around. 

Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. Romans 15:2 ESV
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to compliment others - especially my spouse. May my pride not hold me back from saying things that build others up. Thank You for speaking of Your love towards me, and help me to speak of mine for others. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!