The Pull

 This week I was struck with how easily our flesh is drawn to the temporary pleasures the world has to offer. I felt sick and tired of the pull—the constant lure toward sin. How often I exchange a few moments of fun for something of real value. Something that could have a positive impact on my eternal reward. In almost 40 years of following Christ, I've never yet outgrown the desire for earthly pleasures and the lust of the flesh, and I suspect that won't change until I leave here, taking my final breath when I'll finally be set free.

But I'm not there yet, so I pray that God will touch my heart for His Presence and that I'll stop short-selling Jesus for lesser things. Somedays, I feel disgusted with my wasted days and months and seasons. I wish every moment had been in surrender to His will for me. But in reality, when compared to the length of time I've spent here, the moments of surrender have been few. I feel sin-sick and too often drawn to the things I shouldn't be drawn to.

I've been enjoying a new Gaither Vocal Band song this week titled 'Out of Bondage'. Here are a few lines from the song:

Out of bondage, into freedom

From the chains that held me fast,

Out of bondage, into freedom

From my prison free at last.

While this song is written about our freedom from our past and the sin that stood between us and God, I love to think of this in another way: the day my heart will forever be free from the pull toward this world and its shallow offerings. The day my chains will be forever loosed from my body—set free in my eternal home.

It's not that I don't love my life, and appreciate the blessings God has given me in so many areas. I love my husband and kids and family and friends. I love my church family, my dogs and my home. It's not that I long for death. But friends, some days I just feel weary of the brokenness here. The pain of wrong choices. The corruption of leaders. The indulgence in sin. The perversion of sex. The profane and idle chatter. The jealousy. The betrayal and lies. It's all so ugly and so heavy, and yet God stands with His arms wide open, beckoning me to fall into them and find peace and joy I could never find here. 

And so I run to Him, asking Him to forgive me—forgive us for this filth in our hearts. I hurt for Him as He looks on and sees it all—every single sin that cost Him His precious, only Son. And I wonder how we so easily forget. How can we be so callous? Why are we so drawn to things that hurt our Savior? I want to hunger for Him above all other persons or things. But I'll feel this away again more times than I care to admit. I'll feel pulled away from Him for something temporary. Something shallow. I'll waste more days and more opportunity. But today, I don't want to. I want my life to be spiritually rich and abundantly valuable in His eyes. 

"God, touch our hearts for You. May we hunger for You each day, weighing up our choices for where we pour our hearts. Help us to remember the tremendous cost of our sin, and may we truly have a desire to live a surrendered life. Forgive us for our constant desire for worldly offerings. And until the day I'm finally set free from the pull, hold me fast in Your loving arms."

Training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age (Titus 2:12, ESV),

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh (Galatians 5:16, ESV).

Are You a Baby?

     Can you imagine a world run by babies and toddlers? A world full of immaturity and pureed food? A world full of temper tantrums and shallow relationships? There would be no solid foundation or structure, and it would be a very frustrating place to live. Sadly, this is a reality of christianity today-a world where most who have legitimately come to Christ, have no real development or spiritual interest or growth. In fact, 8 out of 10 christians never go on to live a life for Jesus, and never have the discipline to develop past the baby stage of belief. A surrendered life doesn't look like that-it's a life that is marked by obedience and character that mirrors the character of Christ.

     If we want to grow up in our faith, we will need to surrender our bodies. We read in Romans chapter 12 that we are to present our bodies as a living sacrifice-holy and acceptable to God. We are further urged to resist conforming to the world, but to be transformed by the truth found in God's Word (see Romans 12:1-2). A surrendered life will be noticed and will usher us into the growing up stages of our spirituality. I'd like to discuss a few body parts we can surrender in order to grow in our faith.

     One part of the body that often leads us to sin is our eyes. One of my favorite scriptures regarding the eyes is found in Psalm 119:37. It says, "turn my eyes from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways." How many of us have gotten distracted from our christian journey by pornography, lust, and materialism? We see things we want, and we view things we shouldn't, and they lead us to spiritual ruin and heartache. When we fail to surrender our eyes, we open them to a world of trouble. 

     Feet that aren't surrendered will take us places we have no business going. These feet may lead us into sex outside of marriage, strip clubs, relationships that are unhealthy, and paths that are not led by the Spirit. Proverbs 4:26 tells us to "ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure." Where we go tells a lot about us, and when we fail to surrender our footpath, we will walk in ways that dishonor our Father and stunt our spiritual growth. 

     Failing to surrender our hands have gotten us in trouble more times than we care to admit. My earliest memories as a new christian at the age of 11, still involve fist fights with my siblings. Fighting, hurting others, and touching people we shouldn't touch are a few examples of failing to surrender our hands. Hands were never meant to hurt; but to work, soothe and give. 1 Timothy 5:22 reminds us "not to be hasty in the laying on of hands, nor take part in the sins of others; keep ourselves pure." Failing to surrender our hands will lead to hurt and broken relationships.

     The final body part we often fail to surrender is our mouth. Profanity, dirty jokes, insults, boasting, sarcasm, lies and gossip are all ways our mouth will show a life that is not surrendered. Sadly, this is often the reality for many of us and has no place in the life of a believer. A mouth that isn't reigned in by the Spirit will show the real health of our spiritual age. In Romans 3 we read that our "throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive." We should not be marked as one who lies and uses profanity, but rather as one who speaks truth and speaks kindly to others. Surrendering our mouths is crucial if we ever want to mature spiritually. 

     It's sad to think of how many fail to grow beyond their conversion. We allow schedules, selfishness, and laziness to stand in the way of our spiritual development. It's easier to continue on the way we lived before, but when we do that, we dishonor the name of the One we claim to serve. Furthermore, we are missing out on being an active part of His kingdom work on earth, and the eternal rewards associated with being a willing follower of Jesus. We look for shortcuts in most areas of our lives, but when it comes to growing in Christ, we must be willing to surrender our own will and seek to follow the path God has for us. 

     When our life is over and our friends and family gather to speak about who we were, what will they say? Will we be known by our faith, and will others easily identify us as Christians? Will people say we spoke kindly of others and lived a life of integrity and honor? Will the way we loved others stand out? Will our children say we had a heart for Jesus, and lived in such a way that our decisions, words and actions reflected His heart? Or will we be like the 80% who never really grew in our faith and left behind a legacy that didn't mirror the life of Jesus? It's sobering to think of the day we will stand before Him and give an answer for how we lived and loved. And while I've failed often, I pray that I will daily surrender my will to His. I pray that I'll realize the value in pouring myself into His Word, and how powerful it is in transforming me. And I pray that when I'm gone, the talk around the room will be less about me and more about Him-because I can tell you, He is worth the surrender.

And he said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it (Luke 9:23-24, ESV). 

Dear Heavenly Father, help us to be disciplined enough to surrender our bodies and our lives to Your way for us. We often find ourselves in a place that is stagnant and we are not growing spiritually. Help us to lay aside our own ways for Yours. In Your name we pray, Amen!

     

My Response To Unwelcome Circumstances

     I have a pretty vivid memory when it comes to unwanted life situations. When we pass through things that are difficult, they are often referred to as "fiery trials". Passing through fire means we will experience painful burns- burns that are hard to erase from our memories, and likely have value in being remembered for the lessons they hopefully taught us. My mind goes back to one particular season of emotional pain- a time of separation from my husband following an affair. While I'm close to celebrating my fiftieth birthday, no season was more painful than those two years.
     For many months throughout that period of time, I struggled against acceptance. While I remained close to the Lord out of a desperation for comfort and help, I still despised my circumstance. "Why me?", I would ask Him. I would scan through my past actions, looking for a reason, wanting to know why this was part of my life's story. Most days, I felt it was an injustice to my "good girl" persona. I felt jilted- not only by my husband, but by God. I plodded along with these feelings for quite some time, and then there was a turning point that is emblazoned in my memory. 
     After my husband left home for the second time within the course of one year, I was heartbroken, yet relieved. God was still working on him, and at this point, I knew I had to wait until He broke him. But that's another story for another time. My turning point looked like this: a heaping mess face down on the floor of my bedroom trusting the Spirit to make the right words from my heart for the Father. I had to come to the point of surrender that for now, this was the reality that God allowed to touch my life, so He must have a purpose in it. He isn't cruel. He isn't without intention. And so I simply had to come to the point of surrender and acceptance that even though I didn't like it, somehow and some way, God would make it right. 
     Maybe you're up against a circumstance today that you don't want to be a part of your life journey. Life doesn't look like you wished it did today. So many of us are experiencing Covid related disappointments. Separations from those we love. Inability to worship collectively. Financial struggles and job loss. Small businesses closing the doors permanently as lifelong dreams die. Postponed weddings. Separations from loved ones suffering an illness or celebrating the birth of a new baby. It's not supposed to be this way, we think to ourselves. Why is God allowing this to happen to me?
     Life is going to have its share of disappointments. Things won't always go the way we wish they did. But how are you responding in those moments? Are you accepting them, trusting that God will bring good from them? Do you really believe He has purpose, for His good plans- even in this? Are you straining against what is, and wishing for what you really wanted? In these painful moments, God is looking for not only surrender, but acceptance. And from acceptance, the hope that joy is still possible- even if things don't work out my way. 
     God has lessons in our seasons of waiting. He wants us to trust Him when things are a mess. He wants us to serve Him, even when our hearts are hurting. He wants us to love Him, even when we are in that fire- and especially then. Whatever you may be experiencing today that wasn't a part of your plan in life- may you learn to surrender and accept what is. Pray for His will in your situation, and even when it doesn't measure up with your will, trust that He knows what He's doing. And never stop believing that around the bend, He has good things for you. And He hopes you'll be willing to use those burns to reach others who are walking the same fire as you. 

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5 (ESV)
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 (ESV)

Dear heavenly Father, life can be so hard somedays. Situations and circumstances come along that cause worry, pain and fear. Help us to trust You, even when things look out of control and completely different than we envisioned. Help us to surrender and accept what You allow in our lives, trusting You have good plans for us. In Your name we pray, Amen!