If a guy can like you at your skinny-legged, buck-tooth stage of life, he is probably into you. I met my husband when our family moved to NC from Canada. His family attended the same church, and my brother became fast friends with him. He spent many days hanging out in our home, and I thought of him as a brother in many ways. But for him- he did not think of me as a sister. From the tender age of 11, I knew he had a crush on me.
We grew up with our lives intertwined through church and family connections. Through the years, I would receive little gifts from this boy who had become my brother's best friend. I vividly remember receiving a stick-pin (anyone remember those? hey.. they are making a comeback!) and a brown stuffed dog, I named Ralph. From a young age, he had a giving heart and persistence. But in my advanced age of one and a half years older than him, I always considered him too young for me.
Along came college, and I was off to UNC-Charlotte, while he attended Lenoir Rhyne with a football scholarship. At this point, we were friends and occasionally talked to one another on the phone. Not a cellphone- one with the long cord on the wall that got stretched out from my pacing habit. He ended up in trouble and this event actually led to a date, and a few years later, a wedding ring. I was most attracted to his confidence, interest in spiritual things, and fun nature. He was known for his integrity and strong work ethic. He could always be counted on when someone needed help- that is just who he is, and was. He has beautiful blue eyes, and an electric smile. This was a good man, and I was blessed to have him.
It isn't just "bad people" that fall for Satan's traps. The fact is, it is usually people that are prominent, and useful. Throughout my journey of being the betrayed spouse, I have heard comments about his character from people that don't really know him. Those hurt, because I knew his actions were not his true character, but rather manipulated by Satan for his ultimate ruin. It is hard to see someone you love and respect, make such a drastic transition. I firmly believe the ability to fall is within each one of us who belong to the Lord and we must protect ourselves with the armor of God. While I was hurt by his actions, I was protective of him because of who he was- a man that had lost his way.
If you have been betrayed by your spouse, I want to encourage you to do something really hard- feel compassion for them. To live in the absence of grace is against the character of godliness. To see my husband in this state of sin and rebellion was the worst thing I have witnessed. It wounded my heart, not just for me and our children, but for him. Showing compassion and grace doesn't guarantee the outcome of your marriage, but it is an opportunity to love like Jesus loves. There were days this felt impossible for me, apart from the help of my Heavenly Father. Not every situation will lead to a restored marriage, but when we love others like God loves us, we will never walk away defeated.
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these things put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Colossians 3:12-15 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for the gift of grace and compassion that You liberally bestow on me every single day. Help me to not just accept it from You, then refuse to show it to others. It's hard some days to pass it on to those who hurt and betray us, yet we have done the same to You. Help me to pray for my husband and show compassion, even on days when it's hard. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
*** You can also visit my blog at theselightafflictions.com or roomcdonald.com
❤️
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