A Different Christmas

 The thing about Christmas celebrations are that they are often deeply rooted in tradition. I love traditions—especially Christmas traditions. I am a sentimental girl at heart and nothing pulls on those heartstrings like the things that make our Christmas unique and special to me and my own family. Just hearing Ray Conniff's version of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" conjures up memories from the time I was a little girl. It's a tradition we still have as a signal that it's time for Christmas festivities to begin.

But sometimes, traditions change. It's hard to part with those we held dear for so long, but life changes, so naturally, traditions change too. And there is good in that mixed with a little sadness as well. And because life changes, we often find ourselves with empty chairs at the Christmas table. Maybe our loved one is spending Christmas somewhere else this year, or maybe they've passed away.

This has been another difficult year for so many. Personally, I have lost friends of mine this year to Covid19, and it's been hard to come to grips with. Families will be celebrating, but with huge, gaping holes in their hearts. Some may not even be able to conjure up a Christmas plan—their pain is too deep. My heart aches for them.

Our own Christmas table has dwindled through the years—some from change, and some from death. And yet as we may feel a sense of disappointment or sadness, we must remember that Christmas isn't about tradition or even who is seated at our table. And while it doesn't necessarily erase the pain or the adjustment we face with change, it does prompt us to reflect on what this season is all about.

When I think of Christmas, what are my first thoughts about? I confess it's so easy to get caught up in the traditions and the commercialization of the holiday. I also confess to love those aspects of Christmas, but they don't touch my heart the way the greater story does—the birth of our Savior that long ago night in a stable in Bethlehem. I've spent perhaps more time reflecting on that story this year than any year prior, and I think one of the reasons is the story remains the same. Nothing about it will ever change, and that's a beautiful thing.

Change is inevitable. People change and life changes. We move on from certain things and never look back. We may change locations or career paths or find ourselves facing family changes. Empty nests and new babies—marriage and sadly even divorce—falling in love and feeling brokenhearted and alone—these are also everyday realities for us. And while some may feel joyful this Christmas season, some are also depressed, discouraged, lonely and heartbroken.

If you're facing some changes you may not feel happy about this season, maybe the unchanging, faithful story of Jesus birth can fill you with joy. His birth is the very hope the world had waited for—the hope for a Savior to rescue and redeem a broken world. That child was the fulfillment of promises made from the beginning of time, and the promise I still hold to for my own redemption. 

Christmas is Jesus—it's not in all the things we try to make it about, even as they may enhance our celebrating. And so whatever your Christmas looks like—different or the same—the reason behind it will never change. She brought forth her newborn Son and called His name JESUS—because He would save His people from sin. That's an unchanging truth worth celebrating with great joy.

She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins (Matthew 1:21, ESV)."

The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever (Isaiah 40:8, ESV).

God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it (Numbers 23:19, ESV)?

The Gift of Heaven

 Looking down, the view was heartbreaking. Sin was rampant in every corner of the world. Lust, hatred, violence, and deceit. Lying, betrayal, pride, and jealousy. Sinful behavior resulted in crime, broken families, broken marriages, and broken hearts. It would be tempting to look away, and never allow the planned rescue, but that was not a part of God's plan.

Can you imagine the anticipation of Heaven, all through the period of time before Christ came? They waited—longing for the day He would come in human form as the ransom needed to redeem our sin, setting us free. The thrill they must've felt as the angel appeared to Mary, knowing the time was drawing ever so close. The stories we love to read from Matthew and Luke's gospels were known to them long before it ever happened. The star? The shepherds? The wisemen? The angels? All of these were placed right where they were needed to usher in the best gift this world has ever been given—Emmanuel, God with us.

If you're anything like me, you're busy right now. You're baking, decorating, shopping and wrapping. The tree is up, and you're basking in the warm glow of lights and the wonderful scents of Christmas. Cinnamon, clove, pine, and orange scents, are some of my favorites of the season. Even with all the differences this season with Covid 19, there are still many of the traditions we are enjoying as we anticipate the big day. And yet our anticipation pales in comparison to that of Heaven, as the day of His birth finally came to pass. They were sending the best—God's own Son. And even though Heaven knew He was our Rescue, they also knew the rest of the story.

The truth is, we didn't deserve that Gift. We certainly didn't merit a rescue, yet Scripture tells us love was the reason for both the Gift, and the motivation for the rescue. As humans, we can't understand a love like this. Our love is always based on relationship, or mutuality. God's love is unlike any love—unconditional, and unprejudiced. We can't earn it, because our sin disqualifies us. So when you think of this Gift—Jesus, we can't help but feel unspeakable joy for the sacrifice God made to send His Son to be our Rescue. 

It's easy to get sucked into the traditions of the season, allowing them to get much of our attention. These traditions are not bad—but they aren't the reason for all we enjoy and anticipate at Christmastime. The reason is Christ, and the great sacrifice of Heaven as they sent Him not only to be born, but to die so that we might have hope! I love to give gifts, and I love to receive gifts. It's an exciting part of the season. But there is no gift like the One Heaven sent, when they sent the long-awaited Messiah. Receiving Christ was the best gift I have ever been given. It will not expire, or go out of style. It won't break or disappoint. It's eternally valuable, and indescribably wonderful. May each of us who have received Him, remember the price Heaven paid to send this Gift to us. As we do enjoy the season, and all it brings—may our primary focus be on the beautiful Gift of Heaven, and may we remember to be thankful for our Savior's willingness to come down for us. 

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth (John 1:14, ESV).

She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins (Matthew 1:21, ESV)." 

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman (Galatians 4:4, ESV)...

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel (Isaiah 7:14, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for the incredible Gift of Jesus—sent to save us from our sins and provide the Rescue we desperately needed. You are so good to us, and we thank You for Your willingness to redeem us. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Silent Night

     Silence. Do you get enough of it? I don't. The world is a really noisy place, and often I wish to just get away and enjoy some peace and quiet. I love the Christmas song Silent Night. The tune is breathtakingly beautiful- especially when sung by one of my favorite artists. But the words silent and calm rarely are a reality for me. And if you're like me, I'm sure you can relate.
     I like to have fun. I like to be surrounded by people and talking and laughter. Nothing is wrong with that, but too much of it drowns out something I desperately need to hear- God's voice. We are a people full of our own problems- marriage problems, problems with our kids, problems with our jobs, problems with our health and financial problems. We want God to help us and often pray for His leading and guidance, then we surround ourselves with so much noise that we will never hear His answers. This is the first misstep toward finding real peace in our troubled situations. By avoiding silence, we inadvertently avoid His whispered words of wisdom and direction. 
     Christmas is my favorite time of year- there is no season that compares to all that Christmas offers us. It's a time of fellowship, family, food and festivities. It's shopping and baking and wrapping and decorating. It's rich in tradition, and warms even the coldest of heart. But here is another thing it is: busy! So how can we balance our holiday agenda while making sure we are listening to the One whom we are celebrating? 
     I've got quite an extensive prayer list right now. I have friends who are really sick. I have family members who are struggling. I have relatives that still need salvation. I'm praying for couples that are either in a battle for their marriage, or recovering from one (just like us). Our home is often faced with decisions that demand answers- some easier than others. I can pray, and pray, and pray, but if I'm not listening, then what's the point? I desperately need God- and I desperately long for clarity. I want to see my prayers answered, and I want to hear His voice as it leads me in the very best direction. 
     God won't force His way into our lives- He lets us choose. My choices hold a lot of eternal weight. Will I allow time for listening, or will I cram one more noisy activity into my day, ultimately crowding Him out? Sweet friends, Jesus is always listening. He craves interaction with us. I often don't understand how privileged I am to enjoy a two-way relationship with the God of the Universe. And so I encourage you, this busy, noisy Christmas season, to make time for a silent night. Listen for His voice- because missing it is such a loss. Missing it means we misstep, leading us down a path He never intended. I'm guilty of over-extending, and I need to be the first to own up to falling short of active listening- but I want to do better. I need to do better. And so I'm making myself a promise- a promise to allow more silence into this season, so I'll hear Him... really hear Him, when He speaks to me. 

My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. Proverbs 2:1-5 (ESV)
Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long. Psalm 25:4-5 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, I long for silence, amidst the noise of life. I need it, because without it, I'll never hear You. Help me to keep my heart and my ears open to Your Word and Your voice. May I take time this Christmas season for a little bit of silence- active silence that begs answers to my prayers. And in this silence, may my heart worship and praise You! In Your name, I pray Jesus, Amen!

     

An Unmerry Christmas

     Christmastime is one of my favorites. It's generally a time of happiness and joy. There is nothing like a day that goes like this : Starbucks salted hot chocolate. 50% off everything in the store. The possibility of snow (a rarity around here). My favorite hoodie and jeans. Scents of the season. A fun dinner with family. A walk through McAdenville, NC (Christmas town USA). A Christmas movie on the couch. Gas logs burning. A beautifully lit tree casting a warm glow in my home. Laughter. Togetherness. These are days that bring great joy. But sometimes- some Christmas seasons don't go this way. In fact, happiness seems far removed and the season is more painful, than joyful.
     Perhaps you've been there. I have. Everyone around you seems full of Christmas cheer- wrapped up in holiday magic, and inside, you're lonely, hollow and sad. Death does that. A broken marriage does that. Poor health, a financial crisis, and loss, all cast painful shadows on this time of celebration. Death has robbed me of holiday joy, but most recently, it was a broken marriage and a broken heart. Quite honestly, I could have skipped the whole season had I not had children in the home that deserved this special time of year. 
     As Christians, we always have something to celebrate and feel joyful about- our Savior and how He rescued us from our sin! We have a wonderful future to look forward to- free of pain, suffering, death and loss. But in this moment, right now, loss may be stealing your happiness. You might be missing him. You may be wishing for better health- sick of laying on the couch in pain. You may be longing for some extra money to buy gifts for the kids this year. You are tired from being a caretaker of an elderly parent. You may long for peace over the chaos of your current home situation. Some seasons seem unfair, as the world around you seems to be celebratory and jovial, but you aren't. You just can't find the energy to get into the Christmas season. Memories from years past cause a real sense of emptiness on this present season. 
     God understands your hurt, and He longs to comfort you. We can get caught up in wondering why God would have allowed this painful season in our life. We can get angry. But because of sin, we don't live in a perfect world. People die. People have affairs. Money is tight. Kids rebel and turn away. Addictions are a reality. This wasn't the way God wanted this world to be- His way was the in the Garden before Adam and Eve disobeyed God and our world fell into sin. But because of sin, He sent His only Perfect Son into this imperfect world, to die so that we can be set free. So while we live here, sin touches our world. We will experience pain and loss, but for those who know Him as Lord, we have the assurance that when we take our last breath, He will make good on His promise of redemption. This world, and the master of it, only has a little while to cause us pain and grief. 
     Some seasons- even Christmas seasons, won't bring us happiness or joy. The magic of the season won't make it to our hearts- but may we always allow the Hope of the season to warm us, even when the lights and traditions let us down. This hope says our hurting is temporary. One day, He will heal all hurts and mend all hearts. That tiny baby in the manger is the fulfillment of our hope. During this Christmas season, if you aren't feeling it this year because you're hurting, may you allow your heart to be warmed by His promises, and may you feel the comfort only He can give. 

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27 (ESV)
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 (ESV)
You will forget your misery; you will remember it as waters that have passed away. And your life will be brighter than the noonday; its darkness will be like the morning. And you will feel secure, because there is hope; you will look around and take your rest in security. Job 11:16-18 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, we pray for comfort for those hurting this Christmas season. This world is broken from sin, and often causes us pain and suffering. We look forward, with anticipation, to that day when You will redeem us and forever remove death and sin from us. We thank You, Lord, for coming to redeem us- for giving Your life as a ransom for ours. In Your name, we pray Jesus, Amen!
     

New Year- New Me

     I think of the phrase, "new year, new you", and this year, that couldn't be more true. Oh the changes of the past year... and how those changes changed me! Here I was looking forward into 2019 with a whole different life situation- some good, some heartbreaking. While I had grown closer to the Lord, deepened my relationships with my children, started my own business, and began this blog journey, I was also looking at a possible divorce and the absence of my favorite person.
     There were definite things I wanted to celebrate, and others I wished to forget. And just as with NYE, I didn't want to face the same traditions we had celebrated in past years and longed for something different. I know some of my family members didn't understand, but I could not do my usual hosting of New Year's Day, or anything remotely similar. It's a hard thing to try to explain to someone who hasn't been there, but "different" was absolutely necessary.
     In the past, I had my whole family over for an Italian meal, games, strategizing for our family diet for the next few months, and just enjoying one another's company. It had always been something I enjoyed, but I was ready for a change. My kids were supportive of "something new", and we ended up celebrating in a really fun way, and had a really fun day! We spent a few hours at Top Golf, which by the way, I'm not too good at;) But hey- I think I may have a future at honing this new skill! Then we headed off for a couple hours of shopping and a nice dinner out. My kids made me laugh, and at times, I forgot my sadness. Kids are good for bringing a smile or a laugh when we need one the most. 
     While I knew my husband was off celebrating in a different place, I didn't know that God was working in his heart to begin something absolutely amazing. And so while this day was a different day, with a different perspective and outlook, very soon God would do something that could only point to His absolute faithfulness and power. But in this new moment, of this new year, there were changes in me that only God could bring about, and for them, I am thankful. 
     If you take your loved ones or your marriage for granted, I want you to take this moment to appreciate them. Tomorrow is not guaranteed- not the people we love or the marriage we have. And take this moment to appreciate the God Who delivers us from our worst moments, and brings us into victory. This isn't victory we have won for ourselves- but victory He gives through His miraculous work. And when we experience that victory, the most powerful thing we see through it is God's glory. Thank You dear Jesus for seeking victory in not only my marriage, but my life! Help me to remember that through it all, it isn't about me, Lord- it's all about You! When all is said and done, and my body is laid to rest, I hope there is this one thing remembered about my life- the faithfulness of my Heavenly Father and how His glory was revealed in my life. 

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23 ESV
For the word of the LORD is upright, and all his work is done in faithfulness. Psalm 33:4 ESV
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV
O LORD GOd of hosts, who is mighty as you are, O LORD, with your faithfulness all around you? Psalm 89:8 ESV
He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and a buckler. Psalm 91:4 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, You faithfully deliver us from our fiery trials in Your time, not ours. You walked alongside me through my most painful days, never leaving me when life got tough. Your faithfulness and power give so much hope and encouragement and when I walk through the gates of victory, may others recognize the Author of my victory. Thank You for fighting for me, Father. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

New Year's Eve, 2018

     How do you celebrate New Year's Eve? Do you have certain traditions that you enjoy carrying out with your loved ones? Most of us have our family traditions that surround holidays, and we look forward to them with anticipation. Because really- holidays are about family, and being with the people we love. And that's all well and good until we find ourselves in the middle of a broken marriage.
     For many years, our family has celebrated New Year's Eve the same way. We go to my sister's house around 7pm. We eat (too much), we play games, we visit, we watch the ball drop on TV, and we bring in the New Year with loud kazoos, kisses, sparkling cider, and fireworks. These are fireworks well outside of the acceptable for midnight range - especially in their neighborhood, but so far- no cops;) It's a night of family, fun, food and lots of laughs. 
     This year, though, I didn't really have many laughs. I dreaded going, to be honest, because a big part of my New Year's Eve had been wrapped around the one who gave me my midnight kiss- and he was painfully absent. I didn't want to go, and yet I felt I had to resume some sort of normalcy. I was faced with many possible New Year's Eves, and I needed to start trying to find a new way of life on my own. My mom was a great listening ear that night, and understood if I wanted to leave, I could leave. I appreciated her caring, unselfish ways that night- I sure needed someone to understand.
     My real issue wasn't the 7:00-11:59 part of the evening- it was the 12:00 on the nose, part of the evening that I dreaded. And so around 11:30, I made my exit and just wanted to bring in the New Year in my home. I wanted to sit on my couch, watch the ball drop, and use the time to pray for new beginnings. I had been checking on my husband's location (he still shared his), and I knew he was celebrating far away from home and it hurt.
     These are days when we especially need our Heavenly Father. In a way that I had never needed him prior to our marriage crisis, I was learning to really know the truth of His faithfulness, and He never let me down. Maybe you've known Him in this same way, and you were amazed and humbled at the love of our precious Father. I can tell you- it meant all the difference to me! It was life to my weary, sad heart, and gave such comfort in those dark days. But what I didn't know was that God was preparing the way for a miracle in my life. While I knew He was able, I had no expectations for what was ahead anymore- other than to know that no matter what... He STILL had good plans for me. Wherever you are today, don't lose sight of that wonderful truth found in Jeremiah 29:11. The good plans are there- and in His time, they will come. Be patient in tribulation, my Friend, trusting He is faithful to His Word. 

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 ESV
And though your beginning was small, your latter days will be very great. Job 8:7 ESV
Trust in the LORD will all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, when we face hard life events or holidays without a loved one, we are so thankful for Your help and comfort through those times. A big part of faith is knowing that on our darkest days, You will bring us back to a place of joy and hope. The process won't be painless or easy, but we trust You to carry us through. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!