False Start

     Last summer, my heart soared. I got a call from my husband saying all the words I wanted to hear. I wondered what caused the turn around, and was just so excited for a fresh start. To celebrate, we took some time away- just the two of us. We traveled to one of our favorite spots in Florida- Siesta Key Beach. We would have a week to talk, connect, and spend time together. 
     I couldn't put my finger on it at the time, but something seemed off. Our week started out strong, but as it went on, the connection felt strange. Honestly, I felt at times that he wasn't where he wanted to be, and that really bothered me. On the drive home, we didn't speak very much at all. I attributed it to being tired, and he was content to drive the whole way. There wasn't really tension, just a failure to feel rejuvenated in our relationship and connected in all aspects. This was affirmed when we returned home, and again, we drifted away from one another. The affair was not over. These were frustrating, heartbreaking, and painful points in our journey. 
     Maybe you've felt that in your relationship. Things seem to be going the right direction, but there is an underlying issue that ends up driving you apart, rather than closer together. Sometimes we have a firm understanding of what the root cause is, and other times we don't. Regardless, it's a hard bend in the road that leaves us feeling hurt and uncertain.
     False starts in relationships happen. We forge ahead, thinking we are on a good path, only to discover we aren't really moving forward after all. I think of times this has happened not only in my marriage, but in my spiritual walk with Christ. I have the best intentions of "turning over a new leaf" only to flounder again, and again. I used to wonder how this kept happening, and how I could avoid having it happen again. But I discovered that my lack of consistency for staying tuned in to His voice was the biggest contributing factor to falling off track. 
     If you've had the same spiritual struggle, the answers are found in daily Bible reading, study, and prayer. The more you do it, the more you'll enjoy it. The more you enjoy it, the more it will change your life. And when your life is changed, your marriage will also change. Just as we rely on God's grace toward us for a relationship with Him, we must also lavish it on our spouses, or significant others. A relationship without grace cannot thrive. Likewise, a relationship without a repentant heart for wrongdoing, also can't thrive. If you want a fresh start today instead of a false start, start with the truth found in His Word and let it spill over into all areas of your life. It will change you- and it will give you a new sense of purpose! Let this verse be your daily motivation:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for Your wonderful, marvelous grace. I am grateful that You give me fresh starts, and forgive my false starts. Help those hurting in their marriages today that are struggling with false starts. I know the pain of it, and I pray that You work in their lives and hearts. I pray for a heart of grace and compassion, and also for a repentant heart when I hurt others or sin against You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!