The Reality as Christ Followers

 What does it really look like to follow Jesus? I think Christians today have a distorted view of what their life should be like as Christ followers. From the perversion of prosperity gospel, many have come to feel that the Christian life should be easy if we simply try to keep the rules. Give, and you'll be wealthy. Give, and you'll be healthy. Give, and God will bless your family and marriage and everything will go just as you dreamed it would. Is this biblical, or is it full of misconceptions and empty promises?

The best way to answer this in short is to look at Scripture. What does the Bible tell us to expect as Christians? Here are a few scriptures to consider:

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world (John 16:33). The Bible says as Christ followers, we will have tribulation—we can expect it! But it also tells us that even then, we can still feel the peace of knowing He is with us and will overcome the world.

And he said to them, "Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions (Luke 12:15)." The Bible says an abundance of possessions will only lead us to coveting; jealous thoughts and sin. God doesn't ever say we will have everything we want, in fact, the more we have, the less we realize our need for Him.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us (Romans 8:18). The Bible says we will suffer at times, but to remember the eternal hope that awaits us in glory.

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2). The Bible says we should help bear one another's burdens—which shows us that burdens are part of life as a Christ follower.

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)." The Bible says that loving money should not be part of our Christian experience. Instead, we should be content with what we have—not desiring earthly riches, but instead, remembering our wealth is found in our eternal inheritance.

I have been a Christ follower now for a little over 39 years! In that time, I've experienced some real honest-to-goodness hard seasons. I've seen so many other Christians experience really difficult trials, some personally, and some in those they love—sickness, death, bankruptcy, addiction, infidelity, betrayal, unemployment, and more. I haven't yet met a Christian who navigated life unscathed—no trials or difficulties. Sin has broken this world, and none of us are exempt from the consequences. 

If Christianity meant life would go smoothly, then the world would explode with followers—but the emphasis would be on the absence of trials and not on the Person we follow. God wants us to want Him for Who He is and what He did on the cross for us—not for personal gain or an easy life. The truth is, life is difficult, but as Christ followers we have a real Resource for help. Jesus left this earth when He was taken up into Heaven after His resurrection. But He did not leave us. Instead, He sent His Holy Spirit to live inside of every believer, giving us help through life's most difficult challenges. 

So if you are a Christ follower and life has had its harder seasons, you're not alone. Our suffering here is but for a little while; our hope rests in our eternal home—a place free from sin's "side effects". If you've been promised that life as a Christian will go well if you just follow a few simple guidelines, you've been lied to. Prosperity gospel is rooted in mistruths and has led many astray. Without life's problems, we would not feel the need we have for Jesus—and we do need Him. Our challenges are a blessing in many ways for showing us the way to Christ. 

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for meeting our needs, yet reminding us that life isn't about the abundance of possessions. We thank You for those hard seasons, and for how they help us to grow and depend on You. In Jesus name we pray, Amen!

What Every Marriage Needs

 There are many different things a marriage needs—that's definitely true! Without certain components a marriage will struggle. We need respect, acceptance, and love. We crave companionship, romance and daily support. We want to feel attraction and desire. As Christians, we need a firm foundation individually and as a unit in Christ. These are all important aspects that enhance and build a successful marriage—but without commitment, the marriage is in serious trouble.

For the year or so that followed the rebuilding of our marriage, I struggled with worry—hoping our marriage would make it this time. One of the most wonderful truths that came to me through prayer was this: It's not my responsibility to make my spouse stay. Sure, I need to put forth my best effort at being a wife, but the staying of my spouse doesn't rest on my shoulders—what does rest on my shoulders is my own commitment to stay. This removed a large amount of anxiety and burden I initially felt as we forged into recovery and rebuilding, allowing me to focus on what I was responsible for. 

Commitment is something we learn from God, because He has demonstrated it daily to us. I sadly remember times in my own Christian experience when I wandered from God and allowed our connection to grow dim. Let me be clear—it was completely one-sided. God never leaves us or abandons us—He is faithful and committed to us every second of every day. Just because I forget to pray at times or read His Word won't send Him packing. If I believe I'm too busy to meet with Him on Sundays because my priorities are in the wrong order, He won't turn His back on me. If I fail to tell others about what He's done in my life and neglect to share His gospel story, He's still with me. Does it hurt Him? It does, but it does not change His commitment to me. 

It's embarrassing when we stop to think of how we are as part of Christ's bride and the different expectations we have for our own spouse. We have the perfect Bridegroom, and yet we often are guilty of treating Him poorly and not making Him the priority we should in life. But the minute our spouse begins to irritate us or do things we don't particularly like, we feel less committed and possibly even ready to throw in the towel. Do you see how trivial we are when we consider the commitment God has shown us? There are situations when staying isn't safe—whether physically or emotionally. Abuse is always wrong, but in the regular pattern of living and loving 24/7, "messy" is bound to happen at times.

So we see how God is our primary example of commitment, but what exactly does the word mean? Commitment is defined as the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity or something else. In the case of marriage, it's a dedication to your spouse and the vows you made. It's being there for each other when life is hard and full of challenges. It's being the support needed when life gets difficult, and also to celebrate victories. It's being there when your spouse is sick, aggravating, or discouraged. It's remaining committed whether they seem boring, put on weight or forget your anniversary. Commitment means you stay for better or for worse—expecting that some seasons will truly be "worse". 

For any who are married or considering marriage, commitment is the essential element. You can only control your staying—your spouse is responsible for theirs. You can worry and hope and try to do this, or try to do that. Ultimately as Christians, our level of commitment should mirror the pattern we learned through Christ and leaving should not be a consideration unless we are in danger. There is no perfect spouse out there and somedays, yours will irritate you or make you angry. Other days, you'll be the one irritating and upsetting your spouse. This brings to light the additional need for a forgiving spirit—also best displayed through Christ. When we stop to consider what He's forgiven us for, it's shameful to think of us holding grudges and refusing to easily forgive others. Marriage is hard, yes, but marriage is also a beautiful blessing—one to treat with care, consideration and commitment. 

If a man vows a vow to the LORD, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth (Numbers 30:2, ESV).

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the LORD and not for men (Colossians 3:23, ESV),

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9, ESV)

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments (John 14:15, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for your faithful commitment to each one of us. We don't deserve it because we fail You so often. May we learn from Your perfect example, and treat our spouses the way You treat us. In Your name we pray, Amen!

A Special Gift

It was Christmas morning, and the girl's loving father had really gone all out for her. With a real cost to his strict budget, he had splurged and had the most beautiful wooden rocking horse made for his daughter. With pinks and purples and touches of gold, it was a real work of art. It was the very best he could do for her, and he couldn't wait for Christmas morning. His wife had taken great care to wrap it in the prettiest paper she could find—tiny little unicorns wearing Santa hats. They got up early, anticipating her reaction, and waited on her to come out for her big Christmas surprise.

The little girl could hardly sleep. She hoped and wished with all of her being that she would get her dream pony. She had whispered her wish while sitting on Santa's lap, and now the moment had come. She ran from her room to look under the tree. Her parents were up waiting for her, and her eyes sparkled with excitement. Her parents sat waiting for her to pull open the paper and ribbon, their hearts so happy to sacrifice what they could almost not afford, to make their little girl smile. But as she tore open the paper and wrapping to see the little wooden horse, her eyes filled with tears and she tossed aside the gift with disappointment and sadness. This was no pony—it was not what she asked for. The parents were so sad as they realized their best gift for her was not what she wanted—the little girl was simply not satisfied.

If you are like me, you may think this little one needs a huge attitude adjustment, and you would be correct in your way of thinking. But if you look a little closer, you may see yourselves in her. I know I do. Because my Heavenly Father has given me spiritual gifts, and even though He generously gave them, I am often guilty of tossing them aside and not using them. Do you think our Father gave us gifts He didn't intend for us to use? How pointless that would be, and He does nothing without a clear purpose. 

Some of you may wonder what your spiritual gifts are, and if that's you, there are several great passages of scripture to refer to. If you really want to discover them through His Word, read 1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12 and Ephesians 4. While some may have more gifts than others, everyone who comes to know Christ as their Savior has been given at least one. Whether it's mercy, serving, leadership, discernment, giving, or one of the many others, there are various gifts He gives us—special to each one of us. It may also be helpful to ask someone else what they believe your gift is. Oftentimes, if it's being used, it's also being noticed by others.

Can you imagine, though, opening the gifts He gives us in the same manner this little girl opened her rocking horse? To be completely honest though, we often are like her. He has taken great care to generously give us our gift(s), and we often dismiss them as being unimportant or undesirable. We wanted something else—something we believed to be better for us. Do you think our Heavenly Father is also disappointed and hurt by our lack of care for our spiritual gifts, just like the Dad from our illustration? I would imagine it does disappoint Him and shows our lack of love and care for what He has given to us.

The flip side is that we also miss out when we pass over our spiritual gifts. There are certain gifts that God has uniquely given to me, and when I use them, they bring me purpose and joy. If I've been given the gift of hospitality and then stop inviting people over, I'm not exercising my gift, and ignoring the work God has for me to do through my spiritual gift. I may say I would prefer the gift of leadership, and when I try to force my way into leading, it won't be done with the same purpose or ability, because it isn't meant for me. 

What a waste it would be if this little girl never played with her beautiful wooden horse. The purpose of the horse—her enjoyment, would be lost if she didn't actually accept her gift and use it. Our gifts have been given with intentionality. There is a purpose behind each one and our usefulness in kingdom work is directly impacted by our willingness to know our gifts, and to use them to serve. Let's be mindful of exercising the gifts our loving God has given us—understanding that it will be a blessing to others, and will in turn, bring joy to our Heavenly Father as we serve Him.

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace (1 Peter 4:10, ESV):

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit (1 Corinthians 12:4, ESV);

All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills (1 Corinthians 12:11, ESV).

Pursue love, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts, (1 Corinthians 14:1a, ESV)...

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for giving us gifts—gifts we should be using to fulfill our purpose in the body of Christ. Help us to identify them, and then be willing to exercise these gifts and not forget the work You've fitted us for. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Sunday Relationship Post- Speaking Thankfulness

     In our world of entitlement, there is a shortage of speaking gratitude. Saying "please" and "thank you" are seemingly dated phrases. But voicing thankfulness begins at home, and homes need to step it up. The more we both voice and show our thankfulness, the more enjoyable it is for the person to treat us generously. In a marriage, it's no different. In fact, showing appreciation is a healthy way to build a marriage up.
     There are two sides to thankfulness- the person who is giving, and the one receiving. We don't give in order to receive- that should never be our motive. But giving generously and lovingly is a big part of a relationship. Some provide financially for the family, some contribute by their care of the home, and some do both. These are actions that should be appreciated, as they take time, energy, effort, and careful attention. Saying "thank you" goes beyond manners- it shows appreciation for the efforts of others to make our life better and brighter. 
     Just as we need to hear appreciation for our hard work in our careers, we also need to hear it at home. Nothing makes a person more motivated to be a rock star on the job, then when their boss builds them up with compliments and encouragement. A great leader will encourage those who work under them, motivating them to give their best effort. Why not practice this same behavior in our homes? Encourage one another and show appreciation for the things we do- whether we made an excellent dinner, washed the car, earned a bonus at work, paid for a dinner out, or picked up the dry cleaning. 
     When we fail to say "thank you" over and over and over again, we leave the door open for the provider to feel unappreciated and taken for granted. We never want those feelings in any relationship- especially a marriage. Think of ways your spouse provides for you and voice your appreciation. Learn to speak thankfulness, and don't stop with people. We want to use this same principle with how we treat our Heavenly Father. He has blessed us with so much, and we need to acknowledge our blessings by thanking Him for them. So I pray for an attitude of gratefulness over expectedness. And I thank the Lord for blessing me with so many wonderful people and material comforts. 

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 ESV
Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, Hebrews 12:28 ESV
Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! Psalm 100:4 ESV
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to live with a thankful spirit, and to let others know I appreciate them. May those closest to me never feel taken for granted because of my selfish, careless attitude of expectedness. I thank You for the many blessings I enjoy, and for giving Your Son to pay for my pardon. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!