New Mercies

 Maybe you have a special place where you love meeting with Jesus to talk and just spend time together. For me—it's our neighborhood gated boat ramp. It's generally empty during the day so it's the perfect place to be outdoors, enjoy His beautiful creation, and have a good visit. If people saw me, they would likely think I'm crazy because I love to talk out loud—it just feels more real that way for me. And sometimes I sing—also good I'm alone down there. But this week on one of our visits, I enjoyed the truth from the book of Lamentations. The book title itself sounds negative and oppressing—but there are some really beautiful truths we don't want to gloss over. Like this well-known one which touched my heart this week:

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness (Lamentations 3:22-23, ESV)."

This is a truth I know in theory from reading Scripture, but it often slips my mind as I rise another day, unsure or sometimes anxious at what may lie ahead for me. But as I strolled through our boat dock I saw the truth of it all around me—and in me. This is what I saw:

There was the sun—same as yesterday, giving light for us to see. And it'll be there tomorrow as well. I crave the light and He gives it faithfully each day.

I saw deer scurrying through the woods in search of a tender leaf or fleeing from the disruption from my intrusion into their world. This happens day after day, and there they were again—doing all things deer. There are new opportunities in this day—new adventures and new food choices. He provides for them because He cares for His creation.

I saw my favorite blue heron—Baby Blue is what I like to call her. She's in search of fish as she soars above the waters surface scanning for one to rise close enough to swoop it out of the lake. She's been there for months and I plan to see her again tomorrow. She's not worried today that she won't have food tomorrow. She's enjoying the hunt of today without anxiety or worry.

And there's me. The past is behind me and I've made plenty of mistakes for sure. There's no reason He should want to meet with me here in this place, or any place for that matter. But I know He craves this time with me and He won't hold yesterday against me—He beckons me to start fresh today with repentance and appreciation for the grace He liberally bestows on me. New opportunities are in this day and He faithfully provides for me in ways I often fail to notice or give thanks for. 

What kind of God does this for us—for me? What is it in Him that gives me a chance, day after day, to start fresh? It's His love for me—a love bigger than I can understand. These times spent with Him are precious and special and I think the most awesome part of it all is that He enjoys this time with me! He loves giving me new mercies every morning and His very character is one of faithfulness! My thoughts aren't deep or complicated this week, but I hope that they may encourage any who have not met with Him as much lately to make some time for a really good visit. May your hearts be warmed by His new mercies and His faithful love—they are such precious gifts and give us the opportunity to lay aside the burdens and mistakes of yesterday, and embrace this new day! 

A Special Gift

It was Christmas morning, and the girl's loving father had really gone all out for her. With a real cost to his strict budget, he had splurged and had the most beautiful wooden rocking horse made for his daughter. With pinks and purples and touches of gold, it was a real work of art. It was the very best he could do for her, and he couldn't wait for Christmas morning. His wife had taken great care to wrap it in the prettiest paper she could find—tiny little unicorns wearing Santa hats. They got up early, anticipating her reaction, and waited on her to come out for her big Christmas surprise.

The little girl could hardly sleep. She hoped and wished with all of her being that she would get her dream pony. She had whispered her wish while sitting on Santa's lap, and now the moment had come. She ran from her room to look under the tree. Her parents were up waiting for her, and her eyes sparkled with excitement. Her parents sat waiting for her to pull open the paper and ribbon, their hearts so happy to sacrifice what they could almost not afford, to make their little girl smile. But as she tore open the paper and wrapping to see the little wooden horse, her eyes filled with tears and she tossed aside the gift with disappointment and sadness. This was no pony—it was not what she asked for. The parents were so sad as they realized their best gift for her was not what she wanted—the little girl was simply not satisfied.

If you are like me, you may think this little one needs a huge attitude adjustment, and you would be correct in your way of thinking. But if you look a little closer, you may see yourselves in her. I know I do. Because my Heavenly Father has given me spiritual gifts, and even though He generously gave them, I am often guilty of tossing them aside and not using them. Do you think our Father gave us gifts He didn't intend for us to use? How pointless that would be, and He does nothing without a clear purpose. 

Some of you may wonder what your spiritual gifts are, and if that's you, there are several great passages of scripture to refer to. If you really want to discover them through His Word, read 1 Corinthians 12, Romans 12 and Ephesians 4. While some may have more gifts than others, everyone who comes to know Christ as their Savior has been given at least one. Whether it's mercy, serving, leadership, discernment, giving, or one of the many others, there are various gifts He gives us—special to each one of us. It may also be helpful to ask someone else what they believe your gift is. Oftentimes, if it's being used, it's also being noticed by others.

Can you imagine, though, opening the gifts He gives us in the same manner this little girl opened her rocking horse? To be completely honest though, we often are like her. He has taken great care to generously give us our gift(s), and we often dismiss them as being unimportant or undesirable. We wanted something else—something we believed to be better for us. Do you think our Heavenly Father is also disappointed and hurt by our lack of care for our spiritual gifts, just like the Dad from our illustration? I would imagine it does disappoint Him and shows our lack of love and care for what He has given to us.

The flip side is that we also miss out when we pass over our spiritual gifts. There are certain gifts that God has uniquely given to me, and when I use them, they bring me purpose and joy. If I've been given the gift of hospitality and then stop inviting people over, I'm not exercising my gift, and ignoring the work God has for me to do through my spiritual gift. I may say I would prefer the gift of leadership, and when I try to force my way into leading, it won't be done with the same purpose or ability, because it isn't meant for me. 

What a waste it would be if this little girl never played with her beautiful wooden horse. The purpose of the horse—her enjoyment, would be lost if she didn't actually accept her gift and use it. Our gifts have been given with intentionality. There is a purpose behind each one and our usefulness in kingdom work is directly impacted by our willingness to know our gifts, and to use them to serve. Let's be mindful of exercising the gifts our loving God has given us—understanding that it will be a blessing to others, and will in turn, bring joy to our Heavenly Father as we serve Him.

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace (1 Peter 4:10, ESV):

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit (1 Corinthians 12:4, ESV);

All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills (1 Corinthians 12:11, ESV).

Pursue love, and earnestly desire the spiritual gifts, (1 Corinthians 14:1a, ESV)...

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for giving us gifts—gifts we should be using to fulfill our purpose in the body of Christ. Help us to identify them, and then be willing to exercise these gifts and not forget the work You've fitted us for. In Your name we pray, Amen!

When You Don't Speak the Same Love Language

     I'm going to guess that most couples speak their love in different ways. Dr. Gary Chapman teaches about five love languages—ways we demonstrate our love for our spouse. Some give their time, so the language they speak to show their love is quality time. Some are very touchy people—they show their love by touches, hugs, kisses, and sexual intimacy. Some love to give gifts—they shower their spouse with flowers, jewelry, shoes, golf clubs, candy or whatever he/she loves the most. Their language is giving gifts. Then we have those who like to do things for their spouse—they pick up the kids, vacuum the carpet, run to the store, fix the leaky faucet, or any number of ways to lend a helping hand. These are people who speak love in forms of service. Last, we have those who say the good stuff—they shower with compliments, offer praise, speak thankfulness and affirm through their words that they love you. 
     Since opposites attract, our primary love language is likely not going to match up with our spouse. While learning the language of your spouse is of value, what if they just don't? What if you long to be loved in the same way you speak love? Are you unloved if your spouse is trying to show their love by vacuuming for you, when you show yours by giving him back rubs and kisses? The answer is no, but it can unsettle us when their language doesn't match our needs.
     I'm going to be honest here—my husband and I don't speak the same love language. He shows his love by spending time with me and doing things for me. I show my love for him by my words. I'm comfortable with words and don't mind speaking what's on my heart. He's comfortable sitting beside me and enjoying time spent together. Do I long for flowery speech and mushy notes? Of course I do, and sometimes he does fall onto my planet of affirming words. But on days when they don't come, what then? Did he forget how to love me?
     I think it's important to look for love in any healthy form that it's offered. It's wise to know the different ways love is expressed and accept that sometimes, it's spoken in ways we don't use to express it ourselves. I could choose to feel unloved when I am not hearing things like, "you are my world—the best thing that ever happened to me." Or, "you're the most beautiful woman." And if I make that choice, I'm missing the love he is speaking into the countless hours he puts aside to spend with me—eating a meal out, riding around running errands, asking me to accompany him on business trips, or even just hitting our local gym together. And I could also miss his love when he works long hours to provide for me to have a really comfortable life.
     Are there ways your spouse is speaking love to you that you may be missing? Are you guilty of feeling unloved or unappreciated because they speak love differently than you? I know I have been guilty of that. Rather than feeling discouraged and disappointed, start looking for ways your spouse is trying to demonstrate their love to you. I think you may be surprised at how much love they are showing that you may be missing because you are waiting for something more familiar—your language. If your spouse learns your language and speaks it fluently, that's great. But if they do not, don't assume you aren't valued and loved. God creates some of us with the gift of words, some affectionate, and some with hearts that want to please with their helping hand. He makes us all different—we will always be a blend of two very different people learning to love in our own unique way. 
     Satan wants us to be unsatisfied with our spouse. He wants marriages to fail. He wants us to feel unloved and unhappy with what we have. He loves discontentment—it's where he begins to dismantle our marriages. He speaks lies promising something much better—much more pleasing than your own spouse. Don't listen to him. Instead, love your spouse selflessly. Don't expect them to meet your every need—only God can do that. And often when we love the way God loves us, without expectations, we will receive love in ways that will humble us, encourage us, and open our eyes to the gift we've been given in our spouse. My prayer today, is that you find you've been loved all along, even when the language is foreign to you. 

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7 (ESV)
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. John 13:34 (ESV)
We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19 (ESV)
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 (ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, it can be easy to complain and feel unloved when our spouse doesn't speak our love language. Help us rather than feel disappointed and unloved, to look for ways they may be speaking love differently than we do. And always help me remember the perfect love You have for me. In Your name I pray, Jesus, Amen!

Sunday Relationship Post- Doing Things for One Another

     It's the little things that get me. While I get pretty excited about big things he does for me, I also love the little, unexpected gestures. Things like showing up at home with a cookbook someone was selling, because he knows how much I love a good cookbook. And the unlimited carwash package at our local Sam's Fast Wash- I mean, seriously- super excited about that one! I don't like having a dirty car, and I love black cars, so you know my struggle. My husband also is very good at arranging getaways for the two of us. These are special times for the two of us, and is something I really enjoy!
     What little things does your spouse do for you? Do you appreciate the effort and thoughtfulness associated with those simple little actions? It's great to be the recipient of these acts of love, but are we reciprocating? My husband appreciates little favors done for him- things like checking on our landscaping crew and pitching in when it's needed. He always says "thanks" when I grab his cleaning, run by the bank, order him a surprise gift or send him a sweet text. It doesn't take big things to show your love and appreciation for one another- but it does take some sacrifice, thought and a little effort.
     Doing things for one another doesn't have to cost money. A massage, wildflowers from a field, and cleaning their side of the closet are ways to show you care that don't cost a dime. Unexpected selfless actions done for those we love affirm our care for them. If you are on the receiving end, don't forget to say "thank you!" Thoughtful deeds that consistently go unappreciated often cease. Each of us should not only be the recipient of these actions, but should also be carrying them out as well. If you've not been doing well in this department, make an effort to change that, starting today.
     I think of Jesus washing the feet of His disciples- a loving act of service toward those He loved. Jesus taught by example- He showed us we are here to serve others. As Christians, our life shouldn't be self-focused, but others-focused. Why not start with our own spouse? What could you do today to show them loving service? By serving our spouse, we also honor God, and if you ask me, that's a win-win! 

Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Matthew 20:28 ESV
And whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mark 10:44-45 ESV
Give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you." Luke 6:38 ESV
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to serve my spouse and to invest in building up my marriage- not just today, but every day. You left us so many examples of serving others, and showing them kindness. I know Your way is best and I want my marriage to be the best it can be. Help me to start with myself- putting the needs of my spouse ahead of myself and doing things that will show my love for them. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!