Exercising Faith-What Does it Mean?

 Circuit training—a phrase that brings up bad memories from the past. With multiple weight machines set up in close proximity, you basically run from one to the next, and on and on it goes for about 45 minutes or so. The first few sets were typically done quite easily, as the weight is lighter than regular lifting, but as you worked through each machine and your heart rate steadily punched upward, I would begin questioning what in the world had ever prompted me to begin in the first place. This was exercise not intended for the faint of heart—but for the dedicated athlete.

Now Zumba—that's my kind of workout, but even with Zumba I struggled initially to learn the dance steps and to build up my stamina and confidence. No proper form of exercise comes without a learning curve and a period of adjustment—physical and mental, but with perseverance, you make strides as you keep at it. And when you think about it, faith is no different. I wasn't born trusting God and automatically knowing how to live as a transformed believer of Jesus—it was through many small experiences over time that I learned those things and continue to do so.

Building, or exercising our faith requires spiritual muscle development. It won't just happen unless you put in effort. You will never accidentally fall into being a person of great faith. And so it takes deliberate practice, just like any other form of exercise. Many times, I am guilty of praying for a greater faith, then being puzzled and frustrated with trial after trial. If you want to be a person of great faith, trials aren't optional. That teenager that's giving you a hard time? Faith building. That church leader that seems to make rules based on personal preference causing you irritation? Faith building. A spouse who runs to another's arms, devastating your heart? Faith building. Bills that are out of sync with your income? Faith building.

When you think of people in Scripture known for their faith, you'll see they were people who faced pretty difficult situations. Abraham was asked to offer his son. Esther came before the king unannounced with a desire to save her people—an action that could easily cost her life. Joshua instructed the people to march around the walls of Jericho, believing that God would spare them from harm and give the city into their hands. David picked up a small rock and faced a large giant who wanted to kill him. Moses led his people into the middle of the sea, believing God would hold back the waters from destroying them. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego refused to worship an idol and walked inside a fiery furnace, not knowing if they would be delivered or not. 

All of these people are known for their faith—yet each one faced their own trials with confidence in God. It's true that trials stink. I know I don't like them and I bet you don't either. But trials are necessary if we want to truly grow in our faith and learn to trust our Heavenly Father. Without them, we would not learn to rely on His strength to see us through, and we would not grow in our faith. 

What are you facing today that you are wrestling against? Are you feeling bitter or angry that God allowed this situation in your life? Honestly, there are those moments we find ourselves angry with God—and yet He understands our emotions and feels compassion for us. But as a loving Father, He wants more for us than an easy life that won't encourage our spiritual growth and build our faith. When I think of people I have known who have passed away, the ones with the most powerful legacy are those who faced challenges and continued to walk in faith. So when we face things we wish we weren't called to face, may we see how God is exercising our faith by allowing things that have a greater purpose than the pain we are experiencing in that season. Our God is good and He deeply loves us. Even when our life gets hard and our hearts are hurting. May it be said of us when we take our last breath, "their faith is what I remember and appreciate the most". 

And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him (Hebrews 11:6, ESV).

That your faith may not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God (1 Corinthians 2:5, ESV).

For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith (1 John 5:4, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, we want to be people known for our faith, and yet our hearts often struggle with trials. Help us in those hard seasons to trust You and believe that You will bring good from whatever we face. We know that faith building isn't easy and requires trials and so we ask that when we face them, we would learn to wholly lean on You. In Your name we pray, Amen!

The Reality as Christ Followers

 What does it really look like to follow Jesus? I think Christians today have a distorted view of what their life should be like as Christ followers. From the perversion of prosperity gospel, many have come to feel that the Christian life should be easy if we simply try to keep the rules. Give, and you'll be wealthy. Give, and you'll be healthy. Give, and God will bless your family and marriage and everything will go just as you dreamed it would. Is this biblical, or is it full of misconceptions and empty promises?

The best way to answer this in short is to look at Scripture. What does the Bible tell us to expect as Christians? Here are a few scriptures to consider:

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world (John 16:33). The Bible says as Christ followers, we will have tribulation—we can expect it! But it also tells us that even then, we can still feel the peace of knowing He is with us and will overcome the world.

And he said to them, "Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions (Luke 12:15)." The Bible says an abundance of possessions will only lead us to coveting; jealous thoughts and sin. God doesn't ever say we will have everything we want, in fact, the more we have, the less we realize our need for Him.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us (Romans 8:18). The Bible says we will suffer at times, but to remember the eternal hope that awaits us in glory.

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2). The Bible says we should help bear one another's burdens—which shows us that burdens are part of life as a Christ follower.

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)." The Bible says that loving money should not be part of our Christian experience. Instead, we should be content with what we have—not desiring earthly riches, but instead, remembering our wealth is found in our eternal inheritance.

I have been a Christ follower now for a little over 39 years! In that time, I've experienced some real honest-to-goodness hard seasons. I've seen so many other Christians experience really difficult trials, some personally, and some in those they love—sickness, death, bankruptcy, addiction, infidelity, betrayal, unemployment, and more. I haven't yet met a Christian who navigated life unscathed—no trials or difficulties. Sin has broken this world, and none of us are exempt from the consequences. 

If Christianity meant life would go smoothly, then the world would explode with followers—but the emphasis would be on the absence of trials and not on the Person we follow. God wants us to want Him for Who He is and what He did on the cross for us—not for personal gain or an easy life. The truth is, life is difficult, but as Christ followers we have a real Resource for help. Jesus left this earth when He was taken up into Heaven after His resurrection. But He did not leave us. Instead, He sent His Holy Spirit to live inside of every believer, giving us help through life's most difficult challenges. 

So if you are a Christ follower and life has had its harder seasons, you're not alone. Our suffering here is but for a little while; our hope rests in our eternal home—a place free from sin's "side effects". If you've been promised that life as a Christian will go well if you just follow a few simple guidelines, you've been lied to. Prosperity gospel is rooted in mistruths and has led many astray. Without life's problems, we would not feel the need we have for Jesus—and we do need Him. Our challenges are a blessing in many ways for showing us the way to Christ. 

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for meeting our needs, yet reminding us that life isn't about the abundance of possessions. We thank You for those hard seasons, and for how they help us to grow and depend on You. In Jesus name we pray, Amen!

What Every Marriage Needs

 There are many different things a marriage needs—that's definitely true! Without certain components a marriage will struggle. We need respect, acceptance, and love. We crave companionship, romance and daily support. We want to feel attraction and desire. As Christians, we need a firm foundation individually and as a unit in Christ. These are all important aspects that enhance and build a successful marriage—but without commitment, the marriage is in serious trouble.

For the year or so that followed the rebuilding of our marriage, I struggled with worry—hoping our marriage would make it this time. One of the most wonderful truths that came to me through prayer was this: It's not my responsibility to make my spouse stay. Sure, I need to put forth my best effort at being a wife, but the staying of my spouse doesn't rest on my shoulders—what does rest on my shoulders is my own commitment to stay. This removed a large amount of anxiety and burden I initially felt as we forged into recovery and rebuilding, allowing me to focus on what I was responsible for. 

Commitment is something we learn from God, because He has demonstrated it daily to us. I sadly remember times in my own Christian experience when I wandered from God and allowed our connection to grow dim. Let me be clear—it was completely one-sided. God never leaves us or abandons us—He is faithful and committed to us every second of every day. Just because I forget to pray at times or read His Word won't send Him packing. If I believe I'm too busy to meet with Him on Sundays because my priorities are in the wrong order, He won't turn His back on me. If I fail to tell others about what He's done in my life and neglect to share His gospel story, He's still with me. Does it hurt Him? It does, but it does not change His commitment to me. 

It's embarrassing when we stop to think of how we are as part of Christ's bride and the different expectations we have for our own spouse. We have the perfect Bridegroom, and yet we often are guilty of treating Him poorly and not making Him the priority we should in life. But the minute our spouse begins to irritate us or do things we don't particularly like, we feel less committed and possibly even ready to throw in the towel. Do you see how trivial we are when we consider the commitment God has shown us? There are situations when staying isn't safe—whether physically or emotionally. Abuse is always wrong, but in the regular pattern of living and loving 24/7, "messy" is bound to happen at times.

So we see how God is our primary example of commitment, but what exactly does the word mean? Commitment is defined as the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity or something else. In the case of marriage, it's a dedication to your spouse and the vows you made. It's being there for each other when life is hard and full of challenges. It's being the support needed when life gets difficult, and also to celebrate victories. It's being there when your spouse is sick, aggravating, or discouraged. It's remaining committed whether they seem boring, put on weight or forget your anniversary. Commitment means you stay for better or for worse—expecting that some seasons will truly be "worse". 

For any who are married or considering marriage, commitment is the essential element. You can only control your staying—your spouse is responsible for theirs. You can worry and hope and try to do this, or try to do that. Ultimately as Christians, our level of commitment should mirror the pattern we learned through Christ and leaving should not be a consideration unless we are in danger. There is no perfect spouse out there and somedays, yours will irritate you or make you angry. Other days, you'll be the one irritating and upsetting your spouse. This brings to light the additional need for a forgiving spirit—also best displayed through Christ. When we stop to consider what He's forgiven us for, it's shameful to think of us holding grudges and refusing to easily forgive others. Marriage is hard, yes, but marriage is also a beautiful blessing—one to treat with care, consideration and commitment. 

If a man vows a vow to the LORD, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth (Numbers 30:2, ESV).

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the LORD and not for men (Colossians 3:23, ESV),

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9, ESV)

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments (John 14:15, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for your faithful commitment to each one of us. We don't deserve it because we fail You so often. May we learn from Your perfect example, and treat our spouses the way You treat us. In Your name we pray, Amen!

What is Written on Yours?

     If you're a Christian, you've probably figured out by now that we aren't exempt from trials and suffering. We didn't get an easy pass as soon as we accepted Him as our Savior. I've heard people say after a tragedy or trial, "and they are even a Christian, and yet it still happened to them" -almost puzzled by it. There are many bonuses to being redeemed, but one of them isn't a cake walk through life.
     I think we are not as shocked by infidelity when it hits the average secular home, yet when it hits the home of a Christian, we often don't get it. It can throw us for a loop when we don't realize that each one of us is clothed in humanity, making none of us immune to sin and the consequences of living in a fallen world. I'm approaching my 50's and I've had my share of tests and trials, and I'm guessing you have as well.
     I was enjoying a scripture that gives us a little comfort in knowing we aren't alone in this "cross bearing" journey we are traveling: "And he said to ALL, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me (Luke 9:23 ESV). If we are followers of Jesus, we will still have our crosses to bear. While we are encouraged to pick it up and keep following Jesus, we are also asked to deny ourselves. This is a tall order for our selfish nature to fill. And so I look at this scripture and apply it to our marital crisis.
     If I can make it a visual application, my cross has "betrayed by infidelity" written on it. But if I look closer, it has many other things written on it as well. Some are the results of others sin against me, and plenty are the result of my own pride and disobedience against God. The words on my cross are painful and shameful, and yet it has my name on it to bear. I can choose to let it lay there on the ground and feel sorry for myself, saying it's too heavy to pick up- that's the easy way. Or, I can look at the encouraging face of my Savior, calling out to me, "Ruth, while this is painful to carry, and really heavy, you can do this through My strength. Don't worry about what others are doing or saying, they have their own cross to carry, just pick it up, and follow Me." 
     Friends, we are called to walk through some tough circumstances, and yet it is within our power to persevere and follow our God, or allow them to defeat us. If infidelity is a part of your story too, what are you going to do with your cross? Yes, it's heavy, and yes, it hurts, but when we follow Jesus, we won't be led down a path of disappointment. While we often think we are entitled to only good things, it's often our cross bearing that will give us our identity in Jesus. How well are you carrying yours? Does it point others to your Source of strength, or do you refuse to deny yourself and let it lay useless on the ground? I won't say I never lay mine down, but when we do, we only need to look to Him to give us the strength to hoist it back up, and keep following our Lord! 

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-5 ESV
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, Hebrews 12:1 ESV
For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. Hebrews 10:36 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, how thankful I am that when we are called to carry our crosses, You draw alongside and help and encourage us. Some crosses are heavier than others, but none are too heavy when we allow Your strength to fuel us. Lord, when You call me to follow You through the dark and painful places, may I deny myself, and obediently follow You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

How I Felt About Him When We Were Apart

     My husband always had my heart before he walked out the door. I found him fun, attractive and my other half. For almost 25 years, he was there, and I always figured he would be. When I discovered his affair, I had some pretty hurt and angry feelings- naturally. I had always joked about shooting him if he ever cheated on me, never thinking it was a real possibility for us.

     When he left, I honestly was torn in two about how I felt about him. I felt disgust and anger one minute, and compassion and love the next. My heart and mind had loved him so long, it didn't know how to feel differently. And yet I kept finding myself astounded that this man I had loved so long would betray me in this way. I would see him and feel like I either wanted to hide, or hug him. It was a very confusing time for me.

     I have never been that person that yells, screams and throws things. While other people offered their feelings of what they would do (or think they would do), it just isn't like me to be vindictive or ugly. It isn't that I didn't have those feelings or daydreams, but I couldn't do it and feel good about it. To be honest, my biggest feeling for him was concern- concern for how he was damaging relationships, hurting those who loved him the most, and turning his back on God. None of this was like the man I had loved and lived with for most of our lives. This concern was motivated by my feelings of love for him that I still felt.

     We had our face to face moments, and usually after the initial pain and anger started to shift, we could spend time together and show kindness and care. He was very forthright and honest at owning up to our situation, and I think that helped me to feel compassion rather than hatred. Another contributing factor - a big factor- was what God kept speaking to my heart. Over and over again He urged me to love him, pray for him, and show him kindness. It wasn't always easy, but I knew it was one way of reminding him that God loves us without conditions. And God asks us to love like He loves. This love is sacrificial, and a love we often feel for our kids, but less often feel it for an unfaithful spouse. Loving a spouse is a choice- one we make each day. I chose to love him regardless of his behavior and choices, and whether he returned my love or not didn't matter- I was choosing to love him the way Christ loves me. The rest was up to my Heavenly Father, and I trusted Him for whatever was ahead for us.

Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sin. 1 Peter 4:8 ESV

Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, 1 Peter 1:22 ESV

May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and the steadfastness of Christ. 2 Thessalonians 3:5 ESV

Let all that you do be done in love. 1 Corinthians 16:14 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to love- even when it's hard. I thank You for faithfully loving me, no matter what I do or say. Your love is faithful and kind, and I want to love like You love. Help me to love like that, Father, In Your precious name I pray, Amen!