if you've asked God "why", you're not alone...
We start asking this question as soon as we learn it. If I had a nickel for every time my own children asked me "why", I would be a really rich woman. "Why are you big, and I'm little?" Or, "why does she get to go, but I don't?" So many "whys" in life, and they don't stop as we grow up. In fact, the questions still come and become more and more complicated as we age. It always remains—this desire to understand things, and our need for answers. And while we usually go to parents, other family members, or friends for answers, we also find ourselves asking God "why". After all, He knows everything, and allows things to happen, so we naturally turn our "whys" upward. I'm really glad He's okay with that.
My "why" questions really transformed as I grew up. From trivial questions about my little world and the basics of life, they took a new turn. Why am I single, and everyone else seems to have someone? Or why do they get to have children, and I keep having miscarriages? And then there were the "whys" of my marriage problems. Why do other people get to have "normal" marriages, and mine is a mess? Why did my marriage journey include an affair? Why does my faith seem to constantly be tested? These are questions we ask God with desperation, needing some sort of answer, or at the very least, reassurance that even in the middle of life's messiness, He still loves us.
Some of our questions will be answered, and some won't. Even those that we don't feel are answered, actually are, they just weren't answered the way we hoped, or as clearly as we wanted them to be. But we do know that God always hears us, and He always cares. We often feel heartbroken when He doesn't give us the answer we want, and feel ignored or uncared for. But when we understand the character of God, we know we are wrong to ever assume this about Him. While He understands our questions, He answers in ways that we often don't understand. This is because our vision is so localized to where we are right now in this part of our journey, that we can't see the bigger picture—but God can. When my "whys" don't get answered, God is asking me to simply trust Him. My withheld answers are intended to bolster my faith—not a faith in the answer, but faith in God.
What questions are you struggling with today? What has God allowed to happen in your life that seems unjust or unfair? Why does God call some of us to go through some really difficult stuff? We will always wrestle with our "whys" because we are earthly minded. I have asked God many times in my own journey, "why me, Lord?" And at times when I'm really desperate for an answer I often get discouraged and impatient—and sometimes, even angry. While I may not know why things are they way they are right now, I do know that God can be trusted and He is always in control. And so when I'm faced with my biggest "why" questions in life, may I remember the goodness and faithfulness of God. He doesn't mind my questions, but He does ask that I trust Him and obediently follow Him, even when I can't see or understand where He's leading me. If we had all the answers, we wouldn't need faith. And without faith, it is impossible to please God. As I move forward, without knowledge of the outcome, may I know that God will never lead me where He won't use me. And somedays, that is the only answer I need.
For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV)
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now i know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. 1 Corinthians 13:12 (ESV)
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. James 1:5 (ESV)
Dear heavenly Father, we thank You for always hearing our questions and we pray that You will give us patience as we wait for answers. We are thankful for the wonderful gifts You have given us, and we pray for faith when answers seem far away. In Your name we pray, Amen!
Why does God allow bad things to happen to us? There are so many painful situations we are called to experience in life, and we wonder sometimes- why me? None of us are untouchable, and we all have our painful seasons. I've seen so many that I know, lately, walk through an unexpected tragedy, and it hurts to know they are in their season of pain. But we all have those seasons, some a little more painful than others.
Where is God in all of it? Does He plan these things, or does He allow them? How can good come out of something so bad? We know God is good, and He isn't the Creator of evil. When He created the world, He said "and it was good." And it was good, until the fall of Adam and Eve to sin. In that moment, our world was broken, and will remain broken until Christ returns and makes all things new. Our painful seasons are a result of living in a broken world- a world broken by sin.
While God is good, and doesn't create the things that cause us to suffer, we do know He will use it for His ultimate good. We often don't see the good in it for quite some time, and sometimes, we won't see it on this side of glory. But scripture tells us that all things work together for good, for those that love the Lord (Romans 8:28). For each painful season I have been called to walk, I have seen good grow out of them. God is faithful to His Word and His promises to us, and while I hurt in those hard times, I can have faith that He will use them for His good purposes.
Are you walking through a hard season right now? You may be facing a marital crisis, an illness, an addiction, the death of a loved one- these are hard spots along the road we are traveling. When we are hurting and suffering, God hurts with us, but He also comforts us and offers us His faithful love and healing. If we are christians, our time of suffering is short in light of what awaits us in Heaven. We can take comfort in knowing that what lies ahead, is so much better than what we are living in this broken world. Our painful seasons are seasons- not meant to derail us for life. We can allow them to help us grow in our faith, or allow bitterness to take root. Just as God wants to turn them around and use them for good, we have to allow Him to do it for us. He will use them either way, but I want to come out of the season with a stronger heart for God, trusting Him to transform my pain into something amazing. I've witnessed it in my own life, and I can tell you He is able!
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." Revelation 21:4 ESV
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18 ESV
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for redeeming our pain, and bringing good out of it. Some points along our journey would be almost unbearable without You, and how You will use them for good. Thank You for carrying me through my darkest times, and for preparing a home for me where suffering will no longer touch me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Life is like school. We may think we know most of what we need to know by the time we graduate college, but in reality, I knew little of what I needed to know at that point in life. Life is full of lessons- some are good and some are hard. But if we walk it, we need to get something out of it. If we don't, it was a wasted experience, and other experiences will follow until we get the point.
When bad things happen, we can get stuck in the cycle of asking "why". We won't always know why, and we might not understand the answer even if we did. "Why" makes me anxious and uptight, and even a little angry. Why did this happen? Why did it happen to me? Why was I allowed to experience this heartache? Why did he do it? Focusing on "why" isn't going to help me make progress. Friends, sometimes we don't get our answer, and even if we did, it won't change what happened.
When bad things do happen to us, and they will, we can look for what we have learned through the trial. If I have to experience a heartbreaking issue in my life, I want to learn from it. If I don't, shame on me. I don't want to learn cynicism from it, because that wouldn't be what God meant for me to learn. I don't want to learn bitterness from it, because that won't bring me to healing. I want to find the good things I learned as I walked that painful road, and use them to change me for the better.
Infidelity changed me. I don't take life for granted, and I don't take my marriage for granted. I appreciate the grace of God in a new way. I understand my own shortcomings I had failed to see before. I no longer underestimate the viciousness of Satan's attacks. I realize the importance of staying intimately connected to my Heavenly Father. My eyes were opened to the serious consequences of bad choices, made by parents, in the life of our children. I am humbled at the working of the Holy Spirit to restore and make new. I am overwhelmed with the comfort offered by Jesus in dark times. I am much more aware of our fallibility. And through His Spirit, I am stronger than I ever imagined.
Yes, life has many lessons. And when I am tested, I want to pass. And if I don't pass, I want an opportunity for test corrections. I want to learn good things from hard things. I want to grow through my trials, and not falter. I want to use my experiences to point others to Jesus. I want to be a light in a world full of darkness. And I want to keep learning, keep growing, and move past the "why", into something better- something that results in being more like my Savior.
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, Philippians 3:13 ESV
Now these things happened to them as an example, but they were written down for our instruction, on whom the end of the ages has come. 1 Corinthians 10:11 ESV
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help me to learn good things from the bad experiences in life. Help keep me from bitterness and anger, and look for ways to use them to develop into someone more like You. May I use the trials I experience to grow and learn. And help me to remember how You carry me through them all. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Life has its many ups and downs. Messes that seem impossible to fix. Hurts that are so deep, it seems they can never heal. The news is full of heartbreaking stories. But when pain touches your own life and home, hope can seem far away. Even harder- God seems far away. Why would God let this happen to me?
This verse is on my heart this morning : "Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." John 11:21 ESV. When our lives turn upside down, we quickly point our fingers towards Jesus, saying, "where are You in this? Why are you allowing this in my life?" Broken families, broken marriages, and broken hearts- these are all things He cares about, and yet they happen, even with Christians. Martha was frustrated with Jesus, and chastised Him for not being present, resulting in the death of her brother, Lazarus. His absence had a great cost to her!
Why are we so quick to ask God where He is in the dark part of our journeys? Has He ever proven Himself to be unfaithful to us? Before God sent us the Holy Spirit, it was true that Jesus wasn't physically present with Martha, Mary and Lazarus at his passing. For those of us who are His children, that can never be true. While we would love to place blame on God for allowing painful things to happen, it doesn't belong there.
When I allow myself to be distanced from His Spirit, I am in trouble. My marriage has greatly suffered from His absence in it. It isn't possible for both the husband and the wife to be walking close to the Lord, and land in hot water. We would love to place the blame anywhere, but on ourselves. We can't say- "Lord, if you had only been here..". We CAN say, "Lord, if I had only stayed with You."
If you are walking through a fiery trial, understand that as believers, He is with us. You are not alone on this rough part of your path. Jesus is present, and He longs for us to acknowledge His faithful Spirit. Jesus experienced betrayal from every single one of us, and yet He loves us still. It makes no sense, this love of our Savior. So today, step back from your painful circumstances, and look for Him- He is in it with us! He is carrying us when we are too weak to take another step, and just as He brought life back to Lazarus, He will bring us into the light and life of His love and hope!
Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20 ESV
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, we know You are never absent from us, and we confess we often stray from You. We quickly land in trouble when our lives aren't grounded in You. Help me to seek You in all of my life circumstances, knowing You are there, and You love me. Help me never to place blame on You for sin, and to accept blame when it's mine to own. When others hurt me with their choices- again, help me to know it isn't from You. Help me to grow in my relationship with You, knowing I will find Your strength there to carry me through these dark days. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
