Hope is Better than We Realize

 I was in the grocery store the other day, and I heard a little boy talking about getting a dog. "I really hope we get a new puppy, mom." I could see longing in his eyes and hear it in his voice. Getting a puppy is a pretty big deal for a kid, and I remember hoping for the same when I was a child. Lucky for me, I've come to be the owner of quite a few dogs—each very special to me.

Maybe like me, you have a laundry list of things you are hoping for. I hope I get to go somewhere warm, balmy and tropical this summer. I hope spring weather comes soon—I'm sick of rainy, cold days. I hope my children have the most amazing future and enjoy a close relationship with their Heavenly Father. I hope the money we invested in dog training produces the most well-behaved Jack Russell terrier around (quite the feat). The truth is, I hope for many things, yet my hoping does not guarantee they will come to pass. 

"Hope" is a word we use very differently in our culture than what it means when read it in Scripture. When we hope for something, we are essentially "wishing" for it. Our hope is something we long for, but it simply may not happen. If we applied this same meaning when we read this word in Scripture, it would imply that our hope in God isn't really secure—it's possible, but not guaranteed! When we understand God and His Word, we see how our use of this word today cannot be the same as when it was used in God's Word when relating to our hope being in God.

"Hope" is commonly used to mean a wish: its strength is the strength of the person's desire. But in the Bible "hope" is the confident expectation of what God has promised and its strength is in His faithfulness." (onlinelibrary.wiley.com)

When we speak of biblical hope, we speak of it with confidence. The weather, people, finances, and situations are all circumstantial things we may hope for, but they are not definite and we cannot know how those circumstances will play out. Our hope is a desire, but we may not get what we wish for.

In the Bible, hope and faith are interlinked. When we look at Hebrews 11:1, we see evidence of this: "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." Our hope is a sure thing, because we have faith in God. This type of hope is only available and known by believers. Our hope is characterized by confidence and not just wishing for something. 

Another characteristic that accompanies our hope is anticipation for something far  better. We are waiting and hoping on our Lord's return to take us home. What is waiting for us—our eternal inheritance in Christ, is far better than the best we can possibly experience here. Our hope lies in a promise given by Jesus when He left this world: "Behold, I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay each one for what he has done (Revelation 22:12, ESV)."

Friends, with all of the uncertainties and painful circumstances we experience, isn't it wonderful to have confidence in our Father? To know He is with us, for us, and coming soon to take us home? This isn't just something we wish for—it's an absolute. Somedays when life hurts—when people disappoint me and my heart is broken, I find such comfort in knowing my trials are temporary. Whatever situation you may be battling in this moment, it has an expiration date. Our hope is something we can be sure of—deliverance is coming!

Maybe when you use this word the next time, you'll remember what it means when it's rooted in God's promises. It can be confusing when we think of hope as only a possibility when we understand the faithfulness of God. And as we read it in Scripture regarding our future in Christ, understand it is a promise and God always keep His promises. Our hope in Christ isn't on shaky ground—it isn't tied to wishing or longing. May we know with absolute confidence that God is our hope, and one day soon, He will bring us into the good of that hope—our eternal inheritance. I long for it—yes. I wish for it—certainly. But oh how awesome it is to be assured of it. 

For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience (Romans 8:24-25, ESV).

For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope (Romans 15:4, ESV).

"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you (Psalm 39:7, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for being the Source of our hope. Your faithfulness gives us confidence that our hope in You is secure. We don't have to wish or wonder, we can know. We look forward to our inheritance, Lord, and thank You for the hope You have given us. In Your name we pray, Amen.

Staying Power

     One summer, on the way back from a seven day cruise, my sister's family and ours decided we didn't want our summer vacation to be over, so we made a detour to Jekyll Island. We had passed signs for the island many times, and thought it could be a fun place to crash an extra day or two. The internet picture of the place we chose to stay, looked wonderful. With excited kids, and happy adults, we made the exit to our extended stay. Upon arrival to the actual island, we started to feel a little skeptical. But when we pulled into our hotel, things slowly got stranger and stranger. You know how you get a weird vibe sometimes? Well, that was the case here in Jekyll Island. From the biting flies, the rocky beach, and the really strange hotel, we decided to leave. It wasn't what we had hoped for, and so we packed up our stuff, our kids, and hit the road for a Hampton Inn. Not what we planned, and certainly not fancy, but we just didn't want to stay in Jekyll.
     Relationships can be a lot like this. We have high hopes as we head into it, and then feel disappointed when we realize it isn't what we thought it would be. She wasn't as fun and carefree, and he wasn't as structured or driven. He wasn't a saver, and she wasn't an optimist. She wasn't as skinny, and he wasn't as stylish. The truth is, we all put on our best front in the beginning, but it's just that- a front. Inside, we are all broken, and we all have our share of struggles. Our world would tell us to move on, to find someone else, to get a divorce. But most often, the answer won't be there either. A new relationship or marriage will have its own set of challenges, and you'll be faced with the same decision: go, or stay.
     Now let's be clear from the beginning: I am not condoning a person to stay in an abusive marriage or relationship of any nature. There are some character traits that will need change in order to safely remain. These circumstances are not the point of my blog post today. What I am talking about, is the ability to recognize our tendencies to run when things don't go the way we planned. Some marriages will face some pretty big obstacles: the death of a family member, infidelity, addiction, mental health issues, a serious illness, financial struggles, and many others. What will you do when your marriage faces a crisis? Many times, we feel it's easier to run, than to face the situation we find ourselves in. I want to encourage any who are feeling this way today to simply reconsider. 
     Relationships are hard, and there's no getting around that truth. The only perfect Person to have walked this earth was Jesus- all the rest of us are simply going to mess up. Satan will try to convince us there is someone better suited for us. He will try to make you believe you deserve something better. But at the very core of christianity, is the story of grace. Undeserved grace. Something we receive each day from God's heart, and not a one of us deserves it. If Jesus was our earthly example of how to love, then we will choose to love, even when it's hard. And just as He always is with us and promises not to leave, so we should do the same with our spouse. You can leave- but you'll soon discover the flaws in the next person you choose to love.
     Marriage vows are serious promises. They are much more serious than a side trip to Jekyll Island. Somedays, staying is hard. Somedays, you'll almost listen to the lies that there is a better plan for you. There is joy in choosing grace in face of our spouse's shortcomings and failures. Encourage good change in their lives when it's needed, and recognize that you're also often in need of change yourself. Decide to fight for one another, and not against each other. You can overcome the obstacles that stand in the way of your marriage with whatever tools are necessary to achieve victory. God will fight for your marriage along with you. Leaving isn't the answer- by God's grace, choose to stay. Stay when it's easy, and stay when it's hard. Learn to love like Jesus- without conditions. Loving this way will always have a cost, but it will also reap benefits beyond what you see in this moment. Ask God today for the power to stay, and watch what He will do for you!

So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6 (ESV)
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 (ESV)


Dear heavenly Father, help me to be characterized by forgiveness and steadfastness. Help my marriage be one that honors You. We thank You for the example of love that You've shown us in Your Son. Help us to mirror that kind of love in our marriages. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Renewing Our Vows

     When adultery assaults a marriage, the marriage is broken. Vows made before God were not kept, and while still married, that marriage is in ruin. Hearts are shattered, promises broken, and lives are changed. Looking behind us, we saw it all, and somehow survived it by God's grace. There were days I was sure I wouldn't pull through, and longed to run far away (seriously, I did..the tropics were calling me, but my kids needed me more). But here we were- products of God's amazing grace. This called for a celebration- one where we made new promises before God, our closest family, and our wonderful kids. 
     The morning of February 9th arrived- cold and sunny. A day much anticipated, and full of hope! We stood in front of one another speaking new vows- ones we had written ourselves and made fresh promises. While we had made promises 25 years earlier, these promises came with a lot more living under our belts, and a better grasp of what we were saying and Who had brought us through our toughest battle.  
     Tears were shed, new rings were exchanged,  and hugs and kisses were shared. We felt pure joy at what God has given us- a fresh focus on our gift in one another! Sharing this moment with our children and family members was so special. Each one of them had shared in our battle, and had prayed and loved us through it. It was fitting to have each of them there for this special occasion. 
     I used to find it amusing that so many people renew their vows after years pass. For me, ours were never broken and didn't need a re-do. But when an affair presented in our marriage, renewing our vows was important and gave closure to what we had experienced. Marriage is a blessing, and there is nothing like sharing life with your spouse. Ups and downs, highs and lows- always knowing someone is beside you, there for you, and supporting you. What Satan meant to steal from us, God saw fit to restore. While adultery is a real issue in today's marriages, the same God Who reached in and saved ours is available to all who simply come to Him. No matter if your problem is marriage related or personal- He's there, and I know He is dear friend, because in the darkest of times, He's revealed Himself to me in ways that amaze me. 

I'm including some of the words to a song that I played often during the past year:
I know the night won't last
Your word will come to pass
My heart will sing Your praise again
Jesus, You're still enough
Keep me within Your love
My heart will sing Your praise again.

Your promise still stands
Great is Your faithfulness, faithfulness
I'm still in Your hands
This is my confidence, You never failed me yet

I've seen You move, come move the mountains
And I believe, I'll see You do it again
You made a way, where there was no way
And I believe, I'll see You do it again.             - Elevation Worship "Do it Again"

And guess what? He did :)

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for Your faithfulness to us- for moving mountains! While the night is behind us, we know life will present new challenges and we pray that each day, we rely on Your strength to see us through. Thank You for making a way when there was no way! You have never failed us yet, and we know You never will. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

Let Go, But Don't Give up Hope!

     I recently posted a blog about letting go, and how it was a lesson I had to learn. Apparently, feeling in control was very important to me and I was pretty challenged in learning to let go, and truly allow God to do His work. But I can tell you for certain, when my husband left that second time I felt defeated- I had surely lost the fight for my marriage. It sure looked that way, but I was trusting God to somehow carry me through to the "new" that He had for me.
     And that is where hope came in. I had placed hope in a restored husband and restored marriage, instead of placing my hope in Jesus Christ. My challenge was learning to place my hope in the plans He had for me- whatever they were. I had to believe that the plans ahead would someday, somehow, bring healing and joy. I had to believe that He loved me and would heal my heart and restore my brokenness. And I also had to believe that in some way, it was possible that my marriage wasn't over- but only if He opened the door. But in this moment, I had to let go and wait expectantly for the good He had planned for me.
     If you are walking through a valley, don't give up hope. Some days will look dark and nearly impossible to overcome, and yet God is able in every situation. When I got to this point in my journey, God quickly moved to throw open doors I never imagined. But that door didn't open until I let Him take over. We struggle with allowing God to take control of our lives and think we know better. God forgive me for my foolish ways of thinking! 
     One of my favorite promises found in scripture is found in 1 Peter 5:10. (And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.) Brothers and sisters, we are going to suffer trials in our lives: it's unavoidable living in am imperfect world. But we won't stay there forever! This scripture promises that after a little while, the God of grace will restore us once again. If we can wrap our minds around that truth in the valley, we can look forward with hope, knowing the mountaintop awaits us- and very soon, He will place us there! God, I thank You for delivering me from my distress, and for faithfully upholding Your precious promises to me! 

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1 ESV
"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you. Psalm 39:7 ESV
But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Romans 8:25 ESV
For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O LORD, from my youth. Psalm 71:5 ESV
Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off. Proverbs 23:18 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray I will let You have control in my life, and that I will never lose hope in Your promises to me. Thank You for walking me through my darkest days, and for victoriously leading me out into the "new" You have for me. Strengthen my trust and faith in You always, Lord. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

Rings

     I will never forget the day my best friend became my fiance, and slipped an engagement ring on my finger. We were walking along the beach on Topsail Island, and he proposed to me. That ring was special to me, and so was the man that placed it on my hand. I couldn't wait to show everyone- so much so, that even though I had sun poisoning on my LIPS, and had pink scaly lotion on them, I just HAD to go to church to share my news. Seriously, I can't believe I did that, looking back!
     Rings are special, especially to us women. And the story behind them is even more special. So when I decided to remove my wedding ring, it tore at my heart. My ring meant that I belonged to someone, and removing it meant that I didn't. Most people my age wore one, and I wondered how many, like me, took it for granted. When I first put mine on at the age of 22, I never really took it off. It was there, and after the initial newness of it wore off, I didn't really pay too much attention to it. 
     If you have faced infidelity, you may have your own "ring story". My husband removed his immediately- and seeing his hand without it, made me feel sick to my stomach.  Initially, I kept mine on for a month or two, unable to part with the significance of the promises I had made. But slowly, I began to see that it was a symbol of what was, rather than what is. I would have given anything to not face the truth, but my marriage was simply broken, and until that changed, my ring would remain packed away. 
     It's hard to face promises that aren't kept. When we make a promise, we should keep it, and I especially felt this was true regarding a marriage union. But the bottom line is, we can only control our end of keeping promises- the responsibility of the promises made by our spouse rests on them. When I slipped off my wedding ring, it wasn't because I forgot the promises I made, it was because he did. 
     I am so thankful for a Heavenly Father that always keeps His promises! He will never let us down, and we can always count on Him to follow through on His Word. I thought of that often, as I looked at my empty ring finger. While my husband forgot what he vowed on that hot summer day in 1993, Jesus won't ever forget me. If you are brokenhearted because someone let you down in a big way, allow the comfort of a faithful Savior to soothe your pain. Remind yourself of the promises He has made to you, and that He has good plans for you- even though your heart hurts today. Oh, how He loves us!

It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not pay. Ecclesiastes 5:5 ESV
God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it? Numbers 23:19 ESV
So that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. Hebrews 6:18 ESV
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Hebrews 13:4 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, it hurts to have our hearts broken by empty promises; especially by our own spouse. Give me the help, courage, and strength for whatever is ahead, and give me wisdom to follow Your way for me. Open doors that should be open, and close doors that should be closed- and help me to honor whichever You choose for me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!