It starts with one lie. This isn't a lie that says, "no- that dress doesn't make you look fat (when maybe it does)!" It's something more serious in nature than that. For me, what stands out the most was a lie about location. The trip home from work was taking longer and longer and things were starting to not add up. Once you notice one lie, you begin to see more clearly that others follow. This begins the slow and awful crumble to marital ruin, because one solid foundation of marriage, is trust.
My days and my thought patterns were completely altered once I lost trust in my husband. There were actions that continued to chink away at what was left of our marriage. Weird locations. Cell phone always face down. Constant texting when all of our family was present. New clothing. Long hours at the gym. A loss of intimacy. Weekend business trips. Anger. Sarcasm. Loss of interest in spiritual things. These were all terrifying to witness, and pointed to the awful truth we never want to accept in our marriages- unfaithfulness!
When we begin to doubt that we can trust our spouse, we begin to wonder if anyone is truly authentic. This is someone that should never have been dishonest with us. Marriage should be an open book- one where we are free to share our thoughts and feelings and be completely honest (except for the dress- because maybe I don't REALLY want to know that). When trust is jeopardized, walls go up. When walls go up, communication suffers.
The mind of a spouse that has lost trust is a complicated place. Anxiety sprouts up with anything that seems out of place. The mind goes to conclusions that are often not based on fact, but on fears. We imagine the worst, because we are living it. We initially lose confidence because the lies take away our security. It's a definite body slam to our world, and how we decide to brush ourselves off, and stand up is crucial to how we move forward in a spiritually healthy way. For me, there was One I knew I could always trust. His Word is full of kept promises and security. I knew that no matter who let me down on this earth, God never would. For this simple, yet beautiful reason, I clung to Him with desperation.
If you are floundering in a world of distrust and insecurity, I want to encourage you to start with Jesus. In Him, we are accepted. In Him, we are loved. In Him, we will never be lied to or rejected. In His Words, we can find healing. And with Him, we can learn to trust again. Whether it is in our marriages, or in other relationships, we are given the tools through scripture. We may or may not be given the opportunity to rebuild our marriages. I am confident if we are given the opportunity, through Christ, we can restore trust in time. It won't be a quick and easy process, but it can happen with broken and willing hearts. If we aren't given that opportunity with our spouse, we can find solid ground in our Savior. He does not want us to live in a world jaded by lies, but wants us to live in the freedom of His absolute truth. Living in fear of lies is not God's plan for us. So when these fears cross my mind and heart, I need to lay them at the feet of my Heavenly Father, and let them go. There is freedom in the blood of Jesus, and I'm going to choose His freedom over Satan's fear.
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God, I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me? Psalm 56:3-4 ESV
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 1 John 4:18 ESV
But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. Psalm 13:5 ESV
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father,
When lies threaten my security, help me look to You for solid ground. While lies hurt me, I pray You will open my heart in time to healing and forgiveness. Help me to find freedom from the fear of lies, and rest in the sure foundation of Your love and truth. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Monday, January 7, 2019
Sunday, January 6, 2019
Why we Need the Family of God in Times of Crisis
As little tiny kids, we exercised our independence by saying, "I can do it myself." Being self-sufficient is looked on as a strong character trait. We like to think we don't need others, and can do whatever comes our way on our own. But that isn't how God created us. We were never meant to do life on our own. God knew we were creatures who would fare much better enjoying relationships, and fellowship.
Last January, when my husband left home, I was completely wrecked. It is the only time in my life where the word 'despair' was a reality for me. I couldn't sleep, eat, think straight, or concentrate. It was the darkest time in my christian journey to date. I have no idea how I would have survived apart from the fellowship of the precious ones I worship with, and my Heavenly Father. These loving souls brought over food, flowers, chocolate, stuffed animals, prayers, and conversation. They cried with me- Kleenex cries, where there are too many tears for a hand swipe. They texted me, called me, and just plain loved on me. And I desperately needed it.
No, God didn't intend for us to travel life's journey alone. If you are struggling, hurting and trying to do it yourself, can I encourage you to reach out to fellow believers? Don't let pride or fear hold you back. Just as God lavishes His grace on us, we will find it in those who love Him, and serve Him. Initially, I wanted to hide from other Christians, because I felt like a failure. I felt ashamed that I wasn't a good enough wife (Satan's words to me), resulting in a failed marriage. Satan wanted to use any lie he could whisper to keep me out of the 4 walls of my local church testimony. Because he knows... he knows that in those walls I will find compassion, love, and encouragement. I will find purpose, service and grace. I will be encouraged to exercise my spiritual gifts to the fullest. And when I find those things, Satan's voice gets quieter, and God's gets louder.
I have felt God's presence in a hug from a friend, a tear-filled prayer, and a casserole. God's Spirit is within those He has redeemed, and it's beautiful. The family of God is such a blessing, and our local church testimony is a safe place from the harsh, cynical, sinful world we live in. It is a place of refreshment, and I am privileged to be there. Don't push other Christians away in times of crisis, dear friends. God wants to use them to minister to your needs, so let them minister to you.
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV
Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some. But encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:25 ESV
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17 ESV
For where two are three are gathered in my name, there am I among them." Matthew 18:20 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for creating fellowship and for the comfort and joy, and accountability it offers me. Help me to lean on other fellow believers when I am weak and discouraged, and to offer it to others when they are in need. I thank You for the privilege of being a part of the family of God. Help me to accept help and hope from the wisdom of my church family. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Last January, when my husband left home, I was completely wrecked. It is the only time in my life where the word 'despair' was a reality for me. I couldn't sleep, eat, think straight, or concentrate. It was the darkest time in my christian journey to date. I have no idea how I would have survived apart from the fellowship of the precious ones I worship with, and my Heavenly Father. These loving souls brought over food, flowers, chocolate, stuffed animals, prayers, and conversation. They cried with me- Kleenex cries, where there are too many tears for a hand swipe. They texted me, called me, and just plain loved on me. And I desperately needed it.
No, God didn't intend for us to travel life's journey alone. If you are struggling, hurting and trying to do it yourself, can I encourage you to reach out to fellow believers? Don't let pride or fear hold you back. Just as God lavishes His grace on us, we will find it in those who love Him, and serve Him. Initially, I wanted to hide from other Christians, because I felt like a failure. I felt ashamed that I wasn't a good enough wife (Satan's words to me), resulting in a failed marriage. Satan wanted to use any lie he could whisper to keep me out of the 4 walls of my local church testimony. Because he knows... he knows that in those walls I will find compassion, love, and encouragement. I will find purpose, service and grace. I will be encouraged to exercise my spiritual gifts to the fullest. And when I find those things, Satan's voice gets quieter, and God's gets louder.
I have felt God's presence in a hug from a friend, a tear-filled prayer, and a casserole. God's Spirit is within those He has redeemed, and it's beautiful. The family of God is such a blessing, and our local church testimony is a safe place from the harsh, cynical, sinful world we live in. It is a place of refreshment, and I am privileged to be there. Don't push other Christians away in times of crisis, dear friends. God wants to use them to minister to your needs, so let them minister to you.
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV
Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some. But encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. Hebrews 10:25 ESV
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17 ESV
For where two are three are gathered in my name, there am I among them." Matthew 18:20 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for creating fellowship and for the comfort and joy, and accountability it offers me. Help me to lean on other fellow believers when I am weak and discouraged, and to offer it to others when they are in need. I thank You for the privilege of being a part of the family of God. Help me to accept help and hope from the wisdom of my church family. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Saturday, January 5, 2019
If You had only Been Here, Lord
Life has its many ups and downs. Messes that seem impossible to fix. Hurts that are so deep, it seems they can never heal. The news is full of heartbreaking stories. But when pain touches your own life and home, hope can seem far away. Even harder- God seems far away. Why would God let this happen to me?
This verse is on my heart this morning : "Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." John 11:21 ESV. When our lives turn upside down, we quickly point our fingers towards Jesus, saying, "where are You in this? Why are you allowing this in my life?" Broken families, broken marriages, and broken hearts- these are all things He cares about, and yet they happen, even with Christians. Martha was frustrated with Jesus, and chastised Him for not being present, resulting in the death of her brother, Lazarus. His absence had a great cost to her!
Why are we so quick to ask God where He is in the dark part of our journeys? Has He ever proven Himself to be unfaithful to us? Before God sent us the Holy Spirit, it was true that Jesus wasn't physically present with Martha, Mary and Lazarus at his passing. For those of us who are His children, that can never be true. While we would love to place blame on God for allowing painful things to happen, it doesn't belong there.
When I allow myself to be distanced from His Spirit, I am in trouble. My marriage has greatly suffered from His absence in it. It isn't possible for both the husband and the wife to be walking close to the Lord, and land in hot water. We would love to place the blame anywhere, but on ourselves. We can't say- "Lord, if you had only been here..". We CAN say, "Lord, if I had only stayed with You."
If you are walking through a fiery trial, understand that as believers, He is with us. You are not alone on this rough part of your path. Jesus is present, and He longs for us to acknowledge His faithful Spirit. Jesus experienced betrayal from every single one of us, and yet He loves us still. It makes no sense, this love of our Savior. So today, step back from your painful circumstances, and look for Him- He is in it with us! He is carrying us when we are too weak to take another step, and just as He brought life back to Lazarus, He will bring us into the light and life of His love and hope!
Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20 ESV
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, we know You are never absent from us, and we confess we often stray from You. We quickly land in trouble when our lives aren't grounded in You. Help me to seek You in all of my life circumstances, knowing You are there, and You love me. Help me never to place blame on You for sin, and to accept blame when it's mine to own. When others hurt me with their choices- again, help me to know it isn't from You. Help me to grow in my relationship with You, knowing I will find Your strength there to carry me through these dark days. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
This verse is on my heart this morning : "Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." John 11:21 ESV. When our lives turn upside down, we quickly point our fingers towards Jesus, saying, "where are You in this? Why are you allowing this in my life?" Broken families, broken marriages, and broken hearts- these are all things He cares about, and yet they happen, even with Christians. Martha was frustrated with Jesus, and chastised Him for not being present, resulting in the death of her brother, Lazarus. His absence had a great cost to her!
Why are we so quick to ask God where He is in the dark part of our journeys? Has He ever proven Himself to be unfaithful to us? Before God sent us the Holy Spirit, it was true that Jesus wasn't physically present with Martha, Mary and Lazarus at his passing. For those of us who are His children, that can never be true. While we would love to place blame on God for allowing painful things to happen, it doesn't belong there.
When I allow myself to be distanced from His Spirit, I am in trouble. My marriage has greatly suffered from His absence in it. It isn't possible for both the husband and the wife to be walking close to the Lord, and land in hot water. We would love to place the blame anywhere, but on ourselves. We can't say- "Lord, if you had only been here..". We CAN say, "Lord, if I had only stayed with You."
If you are walking through a fiery trial, understand that as believers, He is with us. You are not alone on this rough part of your path. Jesus is present, and He longs for us to acknowledge His faithful Spirit. Jesus experienced betrayal from every single one of us, and yet He loves us still. It makes no sense, this love of our Savior. So today, step back from your painful circumstances, and look for Him- He is in it with us! He is carrying us when we are too weak to take another step, and just as He brought life back to Lazarus, He will bring us into the light and life of His love and hope!
Teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." Matthew 28:20 ESV
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, we know You are never absent from us, and we confess we often stray from You. We quickly land in trouble when our lives aren't grounded in You. Help me to seek You in all of my life circumstances, knowing You are there, and You love me. Help me never to place blame on You for sin, and to accept blame when it's mine to own. When others hurt me with their choices- again, help me to know it isn't from You. Help me to grow in my relationship with You, knowing I will find Your strength there to carry me through these dark days. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Friday, January 4, 2019
Satan's Attack on my Marriage- Part Two
It's easy to see Satan at work in the lost. We can assign his hand to murderers, alcoholics, drug abusers, prostitutes and a long list of people whose lives are characterized by sin. But he doesn't just have jurisdiction on the lost, he most definitely goes after God's children as well- with fervency. According to 2 Corinthians 4:4, Satan blinds the eyes of unbelievers to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel. Satan once again doesn't stop there- he desperately seeks to blind the eyes of believers, with sin, to mess with their usefulness to God. Here is the scripture focus for today:
In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 2 Corinthians 4:4 ESV
In my earlier blog post, I mentioned that Satan goes after the active ones- people that are considered a threat to his evil plans. He can make our blessings look like burdens. He can dangle things in front of us that seem like a much better path for us. Prettier women. Men with flattering words. Someone that seems to understand us better. A life without the restraints of God's Word. Better sex. Freedom. It all feels so alluring, and appealing. But these are all lies, things he will use to bring us down and cause ruin. Instead of living in the freedom we experienced through the blood of Jesus, we shrug back into the filthy bondage of guilt and shame. It's a familiar garment, one we wore well for far too long before we were His. But it has no place on the backs of believers.
There is no freedom in sin. There is no freedom in Satan. When we fall for his tricks, we lose joy and peace. We lose respect and confidence. This isn't a place God plans for believers, and His best plans are certainly not found in Satan's lies. Yet it happens, doesn't it? We see people who are prominent, useful, and active in the church fall. When we allow Satan to lure us away from God's ways for us, we will be temporarily blinded to what he is doing. We will question our blessings, and make excuses for why they are burdens. We will sit back, and watch marriages and families crumble, and shrug our shoulders. It won't look as ugly in the moment to the spiritually blind, but those with open eyes will look on with shock and horror at the awful price of sin. We know God won't stop pursuing a believer, and I'm so thankful for that. We can find hope in knowing that He will search for the missing sheep, speaking softly at times, and louder at others. And eventually, we pray that God will humble the blind. He is a God of restoration and healing, and He often does it when it looks completely impossible. Pray for the heart of those blinded by sin. Pray that God will open their eyes to the mess, chaos and ruin in the wake of Satan's destruction. And always- praying that through restoration, God will be glorified and honored.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 ESV
And give no opportunity to the devil. Ephesians 4:27 ESV
For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. James 1:3 ESV
For we do not have a high priest (Jesus) who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Hebrews 4:15 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for any who are spiritually blinded by Satan. Open their eyes to truth, and help them to clearly see the destruction of their choices. Guard me against this same blindness, and help my eyes to be fixed on You. Restore the lost and broken, and give healing to the hurt and set aside. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 2 Corinthians 4:4 ESV
In my earlier blog post, I mentioned that Satan goes after the active ones- people that are considered a threat to his evil plans. He can make our blessings look like burdens. He can dangle things in front of us that seem like a much better path for us. Prettier women. Men with flattering words. Someone that seems to understand us better. A life without the restraints of God's Word. Better sex. Freedom. It all feels so alluring, and appealing. But these are all lies, things he will use to bring us down and cause ruin. Instead of living in the freedom we experienced through the blood of Jesus, we shrug back into the filthy bondage of guilt and shame. It's a familiar garment, one we wore well for far too long before we were His. But it has no place on the backs of believers.
There is no freedom in sin. There is no freedom in Satan. When we fall for his tricks, we lose joy and peace. We lose respect and confidence. This isn't a place God plans for believers, and His best plans are certainly not found in Satan's lies. Yet it happens, doesn't it? We see people who are prominent, useful, and active in the church fall. When we allow Satan to lure us away from God's ways for us, we will be temporarily blinded to what he is doing. We will question our blessings, and make excuses for why they are burdens. We will sit back, and watch marriages and families crumble, and shrug our shoulders. It won't look as ugly in the moment to the spiritually blind, but those with open eyes will look on with shock and horror at the awful price of sin. We know God won't stop pursuing a believer, and I'm so thankful for that. We can find hope in knowing that He will search for the missing sheep, speaking softly at times, and louder at others. And eventually, we pray that God will humble the blind. He is a God of restoration and healing, and He often does it when it looks completely impossible. Pray for the heart of those blinded by sin. Pray that God will open their eyes to the mess, chaos and ruin in the wake of Satan's destruction. And always- praying that through restoration, God will be glorified and honored.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7 ESV
And give no opportunity to the devil. Ephesians 4:27 ESV
For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. James 1:3 ESV
For we do not have a high priest (Jesus) who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Hebrews 4:15 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I pray for any who are spiritually blinded by Satan. Open their eyes to truth, and help them to clearly see the destruction of their choices. Guard me against this same blindness, and help my eyes to be fixed on You. Restore the lost and broken, and give healing to the hurt and set aside. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Thursday, January 3, 2019
Satan's Attack on my Marriage- Part One
We were "that couple".. the one serving the Lord, useful in our community, living out the truth of God's Word in our home, and faithful to our church testimony. We were interested in spreading the gospel and demonstrating the love of God to others. Satan doesn't go after the quiet christians that pose no threat to his evil schemes. He wants to take down those that are building up God's kingdom, and destroy their usefulness to the Lord. One specific area of attack is on a godly marriage, which is just what happened to us.
Is it worth living for the Lord if we are opening ourselves up to attack from Satan? Is it better to just lay low and keep quiet about the gospel and how God works in our lives? If we are silent and not living a testimony for Jesus, we lose eternal rewards. That is a pretty high price to pay for momentary "peace". We hold knowledge of the most powerful truth there is- Jesus died to set us free from sin! Being active in God's work will always be the best path for our lives, no matter where it seems to take us on our journey. We CAN arm ourselves against Satan's attacks, knowing they will come. It's when we don't properly arm ourselves that we will quickly find ourselves in trouble.
Apart from personal daily scripture reading and prayer, what else can we do to protect our marriages? Do you read and pray with your spouse? Do you spend time together alone? Do you make each other a priority? Do you take vacations, just the two of you? Do you build one another up, and encourage each other? Do you seek the spiritual good of your husband or wife? Do you make intimacy a priority? Do you talk about your day in detail? When a spouse is not # 2 (# 1 is the Lord, not yourself;) there will be problems. If you assign yourself as #1, you are really in trouble. This is what happened in my marriage, and the sting of it hurts!
We live in a world that has distorted marriage. Our world is selfish and sinful, and its effects are felt in God's definition of marriage. Marriage isn't a "unless I find something I want more" kind of thing, it was meant for the remainder of our lives. The Bible specifically says that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). Marriage is a life long commitment, and one we should take seriously. Satan loves to pose situations and people as opposition to what God has planned for us. He offers a woman or man that SEEMS like a much better fit. If we are not armed with God's Word, and living in constant communication with Him, we open ourselves up to his evil plans for us. God's plans for us are good, but Satan's are evil. Why would we ever choose what isn't God's best for us? The results of giving in to Satan's evil plans are so far reaching, and traumatic to all involved. The price for this sin is so very high! Be on alert, dear friends! The damage to falling is ugly and painful, and completely avoidable! Tomorrow, we will touch more on how Satan blinds even believers to sin. But for today, let's look at these scriptures for help in arming ourselves against Satan's battle for our marriages, and our usefulness to Christ.
Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.1 Peter 5:8 ESV
In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; Ephesians 6:16 ESV
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires. Romans 13:14 ESV
Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Ephesians 6:13 ESV
But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help us to guard ourselves, and arm ourselves against the attacks of Satan. We know they will come, and we want to be ready. Help us to have the courage to stand firm in our faith, and to stay committed to our marriages in a world that puts little value in what You ordained. Help us to recognize the voices that speak to us, and may Your voice always be louder than Satan's. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Is it worth living for the Lord if we are opening ourselves up to attack from Satan? Is it better to just lay low and keep quiet about the gospel and how God works in our lives? If we are silent and not living a testimony for Jesus, we lose eternal rewards. That is a pretty high price to pay for momentary "peace". We hold knowledge of the most powerful truth there is- Jesus died to set us free from sin! Being active in God's work will always be the best path for our lives, no matter where it seems to take us on our journey. We CAN arm ourselves against Satan's attacks, knowing they will come. It's when we don't properly arm ourselves that we will quickly find ourselves in trouble.
Apart from personal daily scripture reading and prayer, what else can we do to protect our marriages? Do you read and pray with your spouse? Do you spend time together alone? Do you make each other a priority? Do you take vacations, just the two of you? Do you build one another up, and encourage each other? Do you seek the spiritual good of your husband or wife? Do you make intimacy a priority? Do you talk about your day in detail? When a spouse is not # 2 (# 1 is the Lord, not yourself;) there will be problems. If you assign yourself as #1, you are really in trouble. This is what happened in my marriage, and the sting of it hurts!
We live in a world that has distorted marriage. Our world is selfish and sinful, and its effects are felt in God's definition of marriage. Marriage isn't a "unless I find something I want more" kind of thing, it was meant for the remainder of our lives. The Bible specifically says that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). Marriage is a life long commitment, and one we should take seriously. Satan loves to pose situations and people as opposition to what God has planned for us. He offers a woman or man that SEEMS like a much better fit. If we are not armed with God's Word, and living in constant communication with Him, we open ourselves up to his evil plans for us. God's plans for us are good, but Satan's are evil. Why would we ever choose what isn't God's best for us? The results of giving in to Satan's evil plans are so far reaching, and traumatic to all involved. The price for this sin is so very high! Be on alert, dear friends! The damage to falling is ugly and painful, and completely avoidable! Tomorrow, we will touch more on how Satan blinds even believers to sin. But for today, let's look at these scriptures for help in arming ourselves against Satan's battle for our marriages, and our usefulness to Christ.
Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.1 Peter 5:8 ESV
In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; Ephesians 6:16 ESV
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires. Romans 13:14 ESV
Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Ephesians 6:13 ESV
But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help us to guard ourselves, and arm ourselves against the attacks of Satan. We know they will come, and we want to be ready. Help us to have the courage to stand firm in our faith, and to stay committed to our marriages in a world that puts little value in what You ordained. Help us to recognize the voices that speak to us, and may Your voice always be louder than Satan's. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Wednesday, January 2, 2019
Fear Associated with Marital Insecurity
There is no sucker punch quite like hearing the words, "I'm leaving you." A thousand thoughts swirl around your brain and heart as you try to reconcile this statement with your reality. There are no words I expected to hear less than these, in my life journey. If you have been told these terrible three words, I wish I could reach through and give you a hard hug. One that says, "I understand." Everything that once felt certain, now hangs up in the air of uncertainty.
I have been a supported spouse for most of our marriage. Apart from the emotional wrecking ball of this statement, is the fear of what to do. I raised kids, kept house, fed my family homemade meals. I washed clothes, cleaned house, was the sole keeper of the family pets, and a myriad of other things. While I worked plenty hard, I didn't have an income to show for it. This work of being at the hub of a family is hard, and often under appreciated. It's been a gift, to be home and be present in my children's lives. But in this moment, I feel panicked. Where will I go? What will I do? What about health insurance? There are so many uncertainties that it begins to steal your peace, along with your breath. Fear is a weapon of Satan, and he is wielding it against me in full force.
The bottom line is this- I don't know the answers to what I will do, and where I will go and how I will provide for myself. Here is the thing though, we never know about tomorrow, but I have been given today. Only God knows my future, and how my story will go. And while this chapter of my journey is hard, God doesn't want me to live in fear. Fear is a good friend of worry, and I am sadly acquainted with both of them. So, how can I move out of the bondage of living in fear, and getting to a place of trust and hope? Do I need the answers to tomorrow, in order to do that?
The best place to look for answers to our fear and insecurities is in God's Word. The Bible has a lot to say about fear. Some of my favorites are these:
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 ESV
For God gave us a spirit NOT of fear but of power, and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 ESV
I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from ALL my fears. Psalm 34:4 ESV
The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." Exodus 14:14 ESV
"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:34 ESV
The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? Psalm 118:6 ESV
Can you see what God is saying to us through His words? When we have Him, we can cast aside fear. He longs to take them from us- ALL of them. It doesn't mean that I don't need to come up with a solid game plan for my life, but it does mean that I don't have to be afraid. He will fight my battles for me; I don't need to do anything but be silent. If fear is stealing your joy and peace, join me in casting them at the feet of Jesus Christ. You may, like me, have to do it repeatedly, but as we give Him our fears, He will give us His peace. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I do know He will meet me there!
Dear Heavenly Father, I give my fears and worries and anxieties over to You. I confess they are a constant struggle, and I long to trust You in all things. We know You are here with us today, fighting our battles for us. We also know You are in our tomorrows, places we aren't sure about- but we are sure about You. You are my hope and my Savior, and so I look to You for wisdom and guidance in all that is ahead of me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
I have been a supported spouse for most of our marriage. Apart from the emotional wrecking ball of this statement, is the fear of what to do. I raised kids, kept house, fed my family homemade meals. I washed clothes, cleaned house, was the sole keeper of the family pets, and a myriad of other things. While I worked plenty hard, I didn't have an income to show for it. This work of being at the hub of a family is hard, and often under appreciated. It's been a gift, to be home and be present in my children's lives. But in this moment, I feel panicked. Where will I go? What will I do? What about health insurance? There are so many uncertainties that it begins to steal your peace, along with your breath. Fear is a weapon of Satan, and he is wielding it against me in full force.
The bottom line is this- I don't know the answers to what I will do, and where I will go and how I will provide for myself. Here is the thing though, we never know about tomorrow, but I have been given today. Only God knows my future, and how my story will go. And while this chapter of my journey is hard, God doesn't want me to live in fear. Fear is a good friend of worry, and I am sadly acquainted with both of them. So, how can I move out of the bondage of living in fear, and getting to a place of trust and hope? Do I need the answers to tomorrow, in order to do that?
The best place to look for answers to our fear and insecurities is in God's Word. The Bible has a lot to say about fear. Some of my favorites are these:
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10 ESV
For God gave us a spirit NOT of fear but of power, and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7 ESV
I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from ALL my fears. Psalm 34:4 ESV
The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." Exodus 14:14 ESV
"Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:34 ESV
The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me? Psalm 118:6 ESV
Can you see what God is saying to us through His words? When we have Him, we can cast aside fear. He longs to take them from us- ALL of them. It doesn't mean that I don't need to come up with a solid game plan for my life, but it does mean that I don't have to be afraid. He will fight my battles for me; I don't need to do anything but be silent. If fear is stealing your joy and peace, join me in casting them at the feet of Jesus Christ. You may, like me, have to do it repeatedly, but as we give Him our fears, He will give us His peace. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I do know He will meet me there!
Dear Heavenly Father, I give my fears and worries and anxieties over to You. I confess they are a constant struggle, and I long to trust You in all things. We know You are here with us today, fighting our battles for us. We also know You are in our tomorrows, places we aren't sure about- but we are sure about You. You are my hope and my Savior, and so I look to You for wisdom and guidance in all that is ahead of me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Tuesday, January 1, 2019
Dealing with Anger
I'm not one to have a temper. I'm not a screamer or a slammer of doors. I like harmony and I really dislike conflict. I am known for being easy-going and gentle. But in the face of infidelity, anger is real. It isn't fair. The feelings of being put to the side include rejection, yes, but also anger. Infidelity holds many of the same emotions as death. But I think the worst truth we hear loudly is how this was chosen. And this truth leads to anger.
It's understandable to be angry. The message we are getting from our spouse is beyond hurtful, and extremely selfish. How then, as christians, do we work through the feelings of anger without allowing it to fester and bring us down? Is being angry a sin? Does God understand our anger? Anger is an emotion, one that is part of the human emotional bank. God understands our feelings of anger, and was even angry Himself when He walked this earth. When Jesus entered the temple and saw it being used as a place to make money, He overthrew tables and displayed anger- RIGHTEOUS ANGER. He never sinned, we know that from scripture. His anger at the misuse of the temple was justified. Ephesians 4:26 says : Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, . We can see that anger isn't sinful, but what we do with it, and how we process it can lead to sin if we let it.
I confess, right here on this page, that I have sinned regarding the anger I feel over my marital situation. I have had some pretty bad thoughts, and while others may say that is understandable, God calls me to something harder, and ultimately better. Satan would love to use my anger to derail my usefulness to serving the Lord. I can let it be the emotion that gets the best of me, and jades my world with bitterness and self-pity. I can let it be the thought that pops in my head when I wake up, and go to bed at night. I could let this anger consume me and lead me down paths of unrighteousness. OR- I can choose to lay this ugly emotion down at the feet of Jesus, every single time it pops its ugly head up. I can acknowledge that I feel this way, and share those feelings with my Heavenly Father. I don't want to live bitter- I want to live a life of joy and peace. If I let anger be my controlling emotion, then joy will be stolen from me.
If you've walked this journey, or are currently walking it with me, you know the struggles associated with this powerful emotion. Satan longs to use anger to steal our peace. When we arm ourselves with God's Word, and His promises to us, we are better equipped to deal properly with anger, and protect ourselves from the havoc it can cause. What we are experiencing is terrible, and it can bring out the worst in us. We have had much taken from us, and anger will take even more- it will steal joy, contentment, and peace. Make some healthy emotional decisions that will help you process these feelings, and find a trusted confidant to share them with. And as always, take it before our Father, and confess and leave it there.
For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:20 ESV
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Ephesians 4:31 ESV
The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Psalm 103:8 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help me righteously work through my feelings of anger. Don't allow Satan to use it to derail me from Your good plans for me. I confess it is an emotion I am struggling with, and I pray that I will acknowledge it and lay it at Your feet. Restore to me the joy and peace You long for me to experience. Thank You for Your grace and mercy and love towards me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
It's understandable to be angry. The message we are getting from our spouse is beyond hurtful, and extremely selfish. How then, as christians, do we work through the feelings of anger without allowing it to fester and bring us down? Is being angry a sin? Does God understand our anger? Anger is an emotion, one that is part of the human emotional bank. God understands our feelings of anger, and was even angry Himself when He walked this earth. When Jesus entered the temple and saw it being used as a place to make money, He overthrew tables and displayed anger- RIGHTEOUS ANGER. He never sinned, we know that from scripture. His anger at the misuse of the temple was justified. Ephesians 4:26 says : Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, . We can see that anger isn't sinful, but what we do with it, and how we process it can lead to sin if we let it.
I confess, right here on this page, that I have sinned regarding the anger I feel over my marital situation. I have had some pretty bad thoughts, and while others may say that is understandable, God calls me to something harder, and ultimately better. Satan would love to use my anger to derail my usefulness to serving the Lord. I can let it be the emotion that gets the best of me, and jades my world with bitterness and self-pity. I can let it be the thought that pops in my head when I wake up, and go to bed at night. I could let this anger consume me and lead me down paths of unrighteousness. OR- I can choose to lay this ugly emotion down at the feet of Jesus, every single time it pops its ugly head up. I can acknowledge that I feel this way, and share those feelings with my Heavenly Father. I don't want to live bitter- I want to live a life of joy and peace. If I let anger be my controlling emotion, then joy will be stolen from me.
If you've walked this journey, or are currently walking it with me, you know the struggles associated with this powerful emotion. Satan longs to use anger to steal our peace. When we arm ourselves with God's Word, and His promises to us, we are better equipped to deal properly with anger, and protect ourselves from the havoc it can cause. What we are experiencing is terrible, and it can bring out the worst in us. We have had much taken from us, and anger will take even more- it will steal joy, contentment, and peace. Make some healthy emotional decisions that will help you process these feelings, and find a trusted confidant to share them with. And as always, take it before our Father, and confess and leave it there.
For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:20 ESV
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Ephesians 4:31 ESV
The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. Psalm 103:8 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, help me righteously work through my feelings of anger. Don't allow Satan to use it to derail me from Your good plans for me. I confess it is an emotion I am struggling with, and I pray that I will acknowledge it and lay it at Your feet. Restore to me the joy and peace You long for me to experience. Thank You for Your grace and mercy and love towards me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
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