Lies We've Been Sold

I stood in front of my mirror the other morning and actually felt a little disgusted with myself. I blame Covid quarantine, but the truth is—it's rooted far deeper than that excuse. A little extra weight, gray roots and cellulite were enough to bring me frustration and a feeling of discontentment. We can't seem to see beyond the exterior, no matter how hard we wish we all could. "She's nice though", they say, which means she's lacking in less important ways. Does all of this resonate with you, or have you not "heard" what's expected of us—or so we've been disillusioned to believe?

The truth is, we've bought into the lies of Hollywood. It doesn't matter if I'm 50 because 50 is now the new 30. Really? Tell that to my body. If you aren't slim, dressed well, tan and have beautiful teeth and hair, you don't measure up. In fact, we have the audacity to say things like: "you could hardly blame him" when we lose the attention of our spouse. Do you know how ridiculous that statement is?  

This lie transfers to our relationships. There are those who choose a circle of friends that look a certain way or act a certain way—attractive and affluent. These relationships are often built on things that have no real lasting value and crumble when faced with adversity. The same is true of marriages. If they were based solely on looks and sexual attraction, they were built on a faulty foundation and won't be able to stand the test of hardship and the realities of life.

Who has ever thought their life would be better if they only looked better? There is a whole retail world full of proof that this is a common vein of thought. The fitness industry is also proof that we are a people who suffer greatly from insecurity. Yes—exercise is important, but oftentimes the sad reality is that we've bought into the perception that being fit is required for being loved and valued. So how do we combat the lies we've bought into and free ourselves from them? 

I'm going to share with you what God has to say about us, but understand that I'm in no way presenting to you that I'm free of insecurity myself. It's crazy to me how I can listen to the lies of Hollywood but refuse to believe the truth of my Creator. When I think of it that way, it honestly makes no sense. But on those days you may struggle yourself, with unwanted weight, thinning hair, wrinkles, or whatever it is you dislike about yourself (because we all have things we don't like), we can find comfort in God's Word. In It, we won't find condemnation for falling short of the world's standards; we will only find we are deeply loved and treasured by God.

First off—we are reminded from God's Word that outward beauty is not where it's at. Beauty fades and oftentimes produces vanity. What God sees as beauty is found inside of us. We may think to ourselves, "well, that won't get me married" but marrying someone based on our looks won't satisfy us or build a relationship that will last. What God sees as beautiful has to do with our hearts and our response to serving and loving Him. Here are a few scriptures that prove this truth:

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised (Proverbs 31:30)."

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious (1 Peter 3:3-4)."

I'm not sure about you, but I know for me, one of the joys of Heaven will be the relief found in laying aside the pressures of this world's standards. None of it will matter anymore, and none of what I invested myself in for furthering my outward beauty will follow me there. What will matter will be my inner beauty—or absence of it. Some of the most insecure people are those who seem to have everything on the outside but are empty inside. Let's make building up treasure in Heaven a greater goal than the effort we put in looking attractive on the outside.

For women especially, body image is a real struggle. We measure ourselves against 3-5% of the population considered "beautiful". The reality is, most of us don't fall into that tiny slice of the pie, but in God's eyes, all of that doesn't matter. What does matter is my heart. I hope, like me, you can remember these things when you have a morning where you feel overly critical of your flaws. I hope it helps you see yourself through God's eyes and releases you from the lies we've bought into. I hope that today, you remember how loved and treasured you are, and how you are made in the very image of God. 

Dear Heavenly Father, help us to see beyond the exterior and see what really matters in ourselves and in others. The world lies to us. Satan lies to us. But in You, we are loved and treasured. Thank You, Father, for that wonderful truth. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Relationships and Marriage 101

 Maybe you're dating, and everything about your girl or guy seems perfect. You can't think of one thing that you seriously don't just love about them. You wake in the morning and smile when you think of them. You fall asleep at night longing for the day you never have to be apart again. It's a match made in heaven, and you can't imagine ever being unhappy together.

Maybe you're engaged, and you've been together a little longer. Life has exposed a few flaws in the one you thought was perfect for you. Overall, they are still pretty great, but you can now pinpoint a few things about your love that irritate and upset you. "Am I making the biggest mistake of my life", you wonder, or is this just normal stuff?

And maybe you're married, and if you are, you've likely figured out by now that your wonderful spouse isn't perfect—sigh. They don't seem to know how to put away their clothes, and they get toothpaste all over the bathroom mirror. And even worse—they have moments where their temper flares or they are too busy to give you the proper attention you desperately crave. What in the world did I do? What did I see in this person, and how was I so blind?

The more vulnerable we become with someone, the more we begin to know the "real them". And oftentimes, this births in us the ridiculous notion that we must be the person responsible to change the things we don't like in our partner. "If only they were more _____, or why does he always have to _____?" Pointing our fingers elsewhere takes pressure off ourselves. It's easy to desire or demand change in our partner thinking this will resolve the issues in our relationship, but what does Scripture have to say about it?

Here is a pretty forthright portion of Scripture regarding this type of behavior: "Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother,'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye (Matthew 7:3-5, ESV)." 

Essentially, this portion of Scripture reminds us to take care of our own junk before worrying about someone else's. It means that we attend to the shortcomings we have before even considering the flaws in our spouse. It requires me to take inventory of my own actions and behavior before looking outward. It may involve my own resolve to correct habits of messiness, moodiness, careless words when I'm hungry, or criticism. And only when I've succeeded in correcting them should I even begin to start pointing out the flaws of my husband. Long story short—I'll likely never get my act completely together to make it to that point. Why? Because I have too many issues of my own.

If you are looking for the perfect husband or wife, you're going to really be disappointed. You may find one that is well-suited for you and brings you happiness, but you'll never find one without their own laundry list of faults and failures. When we stop to think of how our marriages are a picture of how Jesus loves us, it gives us a better grasp of the reality of loving imperfect people. I am beyond thankful that Jesus love isn't conditional, because if it were, I would not qualify. Instead, He chooses to love us in spite of all our shortcomings and pours His grace over them instead. Because of this, how can I not do the same with my spouse?

If you're in a place of discontentment and feel the need to look around you for who can change to make your life better, stop! Replace this negative pattern with the resolve to correct your own issues. When we work on ourselves, the people we love respond to our progress, and oftentimes our behavior changes theirs for the better. We often throw around the phrase "loving like Jesus", and who better to begin with than our other half? This means you will love them in all of their messiness and shower them with grace and unconditional love. It means you won't point fingers and look for ways to control change or nag them—you'll start with yourself, and if you're anything like me, you have a lot of work to do. 

An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge (Proverbs 18:15, ESV).

To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness (Ephesians 4:22-24, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, help us to be willing to take a good look at ourselves and see our own shortcomings and then make necessary changes. Help us not to be finger pointers, but to first acknowledge our own need for change. May we love the way You have taught us in Your perfect, grace-filled love for us. In Your name we pray, Amen!

The Reality as Christ Followers

 What does it really look like to follow Jesus? I think Christians today have a distorted view of what their life should be like as Christ followers. From the perversion of prosperity gospel, many have come to feel that the Christian life should be easy if we simply try to keep the rules. Give, and you'll be wealthy. Give, and you'll be healthy. Give, and God will bless your family and marriage and everything will go just as you dreamed it would. Is this biblical, or is it full of misconceptions and empty promises?

The best way to answer this in short is to look at Scripture. What does the Bible tell us to expect as Christians? Here are a few scriptures to consider:

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world (John 16:33). The Bible says as Christ followers, we will have tribulation—we can expect it! But it also tells us that even then, we can still feel the peace of knowing He is with us and will overcome the world.

And he said to them, "Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions (Luke 12:15)." The Bible says an abundance of possessions will only lead us to coveting; jealous thoughts and sin. God doesn't ever say we will have everything we want, in fact, the more we have, the less we realize our need for Him.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us (Romans 8:18). The Bible says we will suffer at times, but to remember the eternal hope that awaits us in glory.

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2). The Bible says we should help bear one another's burdens—which shows us that burdens are part of life as a Christ follower.

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, "I will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)." The Bible says that loving money should not be part of our Christian experience. Instead, we should be content with what we have—not desiring earthly riches, but instead, remembering our wealth is found in our eternal inheritance.

I have been a Christ follower now for a little over 39 years! In that time, I've experienced some real honest-to-goodness hard seasons. I've seen so many other Christians experience really difficult trials, some personally, and some in those they love—sickness, death, bankruptcy, addiction, infidelity, betrayal, unemployment, and more. I haven't yet met a Christian who navigated life unscathed—no trials or difficulties. Sin has broken this world, and none of us are exempt from the consequences. 

If Christianity meant life would go smoothly, then the world would explode with followers—but the emphasis would be on the absence of trials and not on the Person we follow. God wants us to want Him for Who He is and what He did on the cross for us—not for personal gain or an easy life. The truth is, life is difficult, but as Christ followers we have a real Resource for help. Jesus left this earth when He was taken up into Heaven after His resurrection. But He did not leave us. Instead, He sent His Holy Spirit to live inside of every believer, giving us help through life's most difficult challenges. 

So if you are a Christ follower and life has had its harder seasons, you're not alone. Our suffering here is but for a little while; our hope rests in our eternal home—a place free from sin's "side effects". If you've been promised that life as a Christian will go well if you just follow a few simple guidelines, you've been lied to. Prosperity gospel is rooted in mistruths and has led many astray. Without life's problems, we would not feel the need we have for Jesus—and we do need Him. Our challenges are a blessing in many ways for showing us the way to Christ. 

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for meeting our needs, yet reminding us that life isn't about the abundance of possessions. We thank You for those hard seasons, and for how they help us to grow and depend on You. In Jesus name we pray, Amen!

What Every Marriage Needs

 There are many different things a marriage needs—that's definitely true! Without certain components a marriage will struggle. We need respect, acceptance, and love. We crave companionship, romance and daily support. We want to feel attraction and desire. As Christians, we need a firm foundation individually and as a unit in Christ. These are all important aspects that enhance and build a successful marriage—but without commitment, the marriage is in serious trouble.

For the year or so that followed the rebuilding of our marriage, I struggled with worry—hoping our marriage would make it this time. One of the most wonderful truths that came to me through prayer was this: It's not my responsibility to make my spouse stay. Sure, I need to put forth my best effort at being a wife, but the staying of my spouse doesn't rest on my shoulders—what does rest on my shoulders is my own commitment to stay. This removed a large amount of anxiety and burden I initially felt as we forged into recovery and rebuilding, allowing me to focus on what I was responsible for. 

Commitment is something we learn from God, because He has demonstrated it daily to us. I sadly remember times in my own Christian experience when I wandered from God and allowed our connection to grow dim. Let me be clear—it was completely one-sided. God never leaves us or abandons us—He is faithful and committed to us every second of every day. Just because I forget to pray at times or read His Word won't send Him packing. If I believe I'm too busy to meet with Him on Sundays because my priorities are in the wrong order, He won't turn His back on me. If I fail to tell others about what He's done in my life and neglect to share His gospel story, He's still with me. Does it hurt Him? It does, but it does not change His commitment to me. 

It's embarrassing when we stop to think of how we are as part of Christ's bride and the different expectations we have for our own spouse. We have the perfect Bridegroom, and yet we often are guilty of treating Him poorly and not making Him the priority we should in life. But the minute our spouse begins to irritate us or do things we don't particularly like, we feel less committed and possibly even ready to throw in the towel. Do you see how trivial we are when we consider the commitment God has shown us? There are situations when staying isn't safe—whether physically or emotionally. Abuse is always wrong, but in the regular pattern of living and loving 24/7, "messy" is bound to happen at times.

So we see how God is our primary example of commitment, but what exactly does the word mean? Commitment is defined as the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity or something else. In the case of marriage, it's a dedication to your spouse and the vows you made. It's being there for each other when life is hard and full of challenges. It's being the support needed when life gets difficult, and also to celebrate victories. It's being there when your spouse is sick, aggravating, or discouraged. It's remaining committed whether they seem boring, put on weight or forget your anniversary. Commitment means you stay for better or for worse—expecting that some seasons will truly be "worse". 

For any who are married or considering marriage, commitment is the essential element. You can only control your staying—your spouse is responsible for theirs. You can worry and hope and try to do this, or try to do that. Ultimately as Christians, our level of commitment should mirror the pattern we learned through Christ and leaving should not be a consideration unless we are in danger. There is no perfect spouse out there and somedays, yours will irritate you or make you angry. Other days, you'll be the one irritating and upsetting your spouse. This brings to light the additional need for a forgiving spirit—also best displayed through Christ. When we stop to consider what He's forgiven us for, it's shameful to think of us holding grudges and refusing to easily forgive others. Marriage is hard, yes, but marriage is also a beautiful blessing—one to treat with care, consideration and commitment. 

If a man vows a vow to the LORD, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth (Numbers 30:2, ESV).

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the LORD and not for men (Colossians 3:23, ESV),

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9, ESV)

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments (John 14:15, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for your faithful commitment to each one of us. We don't deserve it because we fail You so often. May we learn from Your perfect example, and treat our spouses the way You treat us. In Your name we pray, Amen!

The Heart of Mary

I distinctly remember the weeks following the birth of my firstborn son. I remember sitting with him on our couch, pondering many things about him. Where would those little feet travel? What would his first word be? What would his hands touch, and who would they provide for? I hung on every sound he made, listening intently for signs of distress. After two miscarriages, God had given me the treasure of this child, and I would love him forever. 

Even as I had these thoughts, I also thought about the bad things that would surely happen to him. I hoped his hands and feet would not lead him into trouble, but I also was wise enough to know they likely would. His mouth would say things that would be hurtful, because he was human. He would make choices I would not like and he would do things that would bring us disappointment. This is the normal course of life for us as fallible humans—falling and failing because ultimately, we are all sinners.

But Mary. Can you imagine the thoughts she must have had about her firstborn Son? As I've enjoyed readings of late of the Christmas story, Mary has spoken to my mother's heart. What must it have been like to mother the Savior of the world? The differences she would see in her Son must've been striking, and unlike anything she had ever heard about or seen before. It all began in the most unconventional way with a visit from an angel.

For the first decade and a half of Mary's life, she surely had been around other babies with their mothers. She surely saw the natural way that children want their way—temper tantrums and all. She surely saw them cry and whine and disobey. She would have watched as exasperated moms exercised discipline to alter the behavior of their disobedient children. But all of that would be absent in her mothering of Jesus, the Holy and Perfect Son of God. 

All of this would be included in the pondering of Mary's heart that we read about in Luke 2:19. In addition would possibly be the visits from the shepherds and the wisemen. The virgin birth would have also been admittedly astounding, yet would solidify the validity of this Child's title as Messiah. Simeon's message to them in the temple would also stand out in her mind. But aside from all of this would be the notable difference in His character and behavior, beginning at infancy.

What must it have been like to love Jesus as mother and Savior? I love how this same Scripture says she "treasured up all these things" as she pondered them. The thoughts of our sweet babies are thoughts we treasure. But even as we have many thoughts we treasure, we also know our children will bring us disappointment at some point along the way. They will make mistakes. They will disobey and need correction. But Jesus never did. 

As I enjoyed the thoughts Mary surely had, my heart was touched by the character of Jesus. Pure, holy, loving and kind. This Child would become the Bridge between us and God. He would offer Himself as a substitute for the punishment that should have been ours, because He deeply loved us. And for me, that conjures up quite a bit of pondering in my own heart for Jesus—our promised Messiah and Savior. Hope was woven into this Baby whom Mary treasured. Hope not only for Mary, but for me and for you. As Christmas has passed for another year, the real story behind it remains. And just like Mary, may I also treasure up thoughts of Him as I ponder Who He is, and the reason He came: to rescue sinners like me. 

But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart (Luke 2:19, ESV). 

And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart (Luke 2:51, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, we are so grateful You came to rescue us and save us from our sin. May our hearts be like Mary's—touched with treasured thoughts of You. In Your name we pray, Amen!

The Gift of Heaven

 Looking down, the view was heartbreaking. Sin was rampant in every corner of the world. Lust, hatred, violence, and deceit. Lying, betrayal, pride, and jealousy. Sinful behavior resulted in crime, broken families, broken marriages, and broken hearts. It would be tempting to look away, and never allow the planned rescue, but that was not a part of God's plan.

Can you imagine the anticipation of Heaven, all through the period of time before Christ came? They waited—longing for the day He would come in human form as the ransom needed to redeem our sin, setting us free. The thrill they must've felt as the angel appeared to Mary, knowing the time was drawing ever so close. The stories we love to read from Matthew and Luke's gospels were known to them long before it ever happened. The star? The shepherds? The wisemen? The angels? All of these were placed right where they were needed to usher in the best gift this world has ever been given—Emmanuel, God with us.

If you're anything like me, you're busy right now. You're baking, decorating, shopping and wrapping. The tree is up, and you're basking in the warm glow of lights and the wonderful scents of Christmas. Cinnamon, clove, pine, and orange scents, are some of my favorites of the season. Even with all the differences this season with Covid 19, there are still many of the traditions we are enjoying as we anticipate the big day. And yet our anticipation pales in comparison to that of Heaven, as the day of His birth finally came to pass. They were sending the best—God's own Son. And even though Heaven knew He was our Rescue, they also knew the rest of the story.

The truth is, we didn't deserve that Gift. We certainly didn't merit a rescue, yet Scripture tells us love was the reason for both the Gift, and the motivation for the rescue. As humans, we can't understand a love like this. Our love is always based on relationship, or mutuality. God's love is unlike any love—unconditional, and unprejudiced. We can't earn it, because our sin disqualifies us. So when you think of this Gift—Jesus, we can't help but feel unspeakable joy for the sacrifice God made to send His Son to be our Rescue. 

It's easy to get sucked into the traditions of the season, allowing them to get much of our attention. These traditions are not bad—but they aren't the reason for all we enjoy and anticipate at Christmastime. The reason is Christ, and the great sacrifice of Heaven as they sent Him not only to be born, but to die so that we might have hope! I love to give gifts, and I love to receive gifts. It's an exciting part of the season. But there is no gift like the One Heaven sent, when they sent the long-awaited Messiah. Receiving Christ was the best gift I have ever been given. It will not expire, or go out of style. It won't break or disappoint. It's eternally valuable, and indescribably wonderful. May each of us who have received Him, remember the price Heaven paid to send this Gift to us. As we do enjoy the season, and all it brings—may our primary focus be on the beautiful Gift of Heaven, and may we remember to be thankful for our Savior's willingness to come down for us. 

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth (John 1:14, ESV).

She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins (Matthew 1:21, ESV)." 

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman (Galatians 4:4, ESV)...

Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel (Isaiah 7:14, ESV).

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank You for the incredible Gift of Jesus—sent to save us from our sins and provide the Rescue we desperately needed. You are so good to us, and we thank You for Your willingness to redeem us. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Who is He?

 Driving down the road, I often find myself praying—sometimes audibly, and sometimes silently, as I have free, uninterrupted time to speak to God. I have quite an extensive list of people I know with needs, and I have plenty of needs right in my own home. To be completely honest, I often find that about 95% of my prayer is focused on needs and wishes. I rattle them off in their usual order, adding in present day requests as they arise. It's not a bad thing to "let our requests me made known to God", but there is more to prayer than that. 

I was challenged recently by a message I heard about prayer, and how I oftentimes find myself asking the same thing over and over again, and not getting much of an answer to some of my own prayer requests. It can be frustrating, when we desperately wish for something, only to feel unheard (we aren't), or feel there is no clear answer from our Father. This message pointed out our attitude toward prayer, and how we often approach God in a way that is habitual and rote, standing in the way of our answers. We come bringing our needs, but aren't even expectant when we lay them before Him—and I know this is true of myself, at times. 

I recently had a real need that I had been taking before the Father, but again, it had been more of a habit in my asking. After hearing this broadcast on prayer, my heart was stricken for the callous and casual way I often approach Him for needs of my heart. As I got on my knees in the quiet of my home, I asked God to reveal to me just ten of the mighty things He had done, that we read of in scripture. As He revealed them to me, one by one, I spoke back to Him those miraculous displays of His awesome power. As I spoke each one of them, it became clearer and clearer to me that my prayer was just a drop in an ocean of His infinite power, and certainly easily handled by His hand. And you know what? Within the course of that very day, my prayer was answered!

The message of this post is certainly not from a point of authority, teaching the way to really pray. The real point I want to make here is for us to remember Who we are praying to—I needed that reminder. There are a few prayer sessions I've had with my Heavenly Father that will be forever engrained into my memory—that being one of them. Each of those times I distinctly remember Him speaking back to me in a very direct way. It is one of the reasons I do not have doubts regarding my salvation like I did when I was younger. If the Word of God did not reassure me (and It always can), those prayer sessions sure did. 

As we make prayer a part of our Christian journey, may we remember Who God is as we approach Him. I need this reminder often, but my experience recently refreshed my soul and gave me the courage to ask, knowing His perfect ability to answer. When our prayers align with His will, we are on good ground for receiving an answer. Will it always happen immediately? No—I've been made to wait many times, as God bolstered my patience and my faith as I continued to bring the same need before Him. But we know we can approach Him boldly—just as scripture reminds us, knowing He not only hears us, but longs to answer us. On the days I pray habitually and my heart is lacking, may He speak to me again, giving me courage and reminding me of His awesome power. As Jeremiah 32:27 reminds us, "Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh. Is anything too hard for me?" 

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might (Ephesians 6:10, ESV).

But Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26, ESV)."

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly that all that we ask of think, according to the power at work within us (Ephesians 3:20, ESV),

And what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might (Ephesians 1:19, ESV)

Dear Heavenly Father, help us to approach You in light of who You are. Help us to pray expectantly, and from our hearts. We know You long for us to bring our petitions before You, and so we pray that we will be more aware of how we approach You. Your power is limitless, and Your love is infinite. In Your precious name we pray, Amen!