The Power of Rest

 She lay in bed wide awake, her heart slamming in her chest. Her mind literally buzzed with activity. Should she even be in bed, she thought, with all the "yet-to-do" list she mentally tallied in her mind? Deadlines. Laundry. Family picture day with color coordinated clothes. Company coming for dinner. Re-painting the bathroom. A doctor's appointment for a long overdo mammogram. Getting packed for a quick getaway, and making lists for the house sitter. Getting her Sunday School lesson planned. The more she thought about it all, the more sleep eluded her. Why was she foolish enough to even think of sleeping when all of these responsibilities stretched before her? The more she thought, the shorter her breath felt. Was it a heart attack, or just anxiety? Would she even know if she were having a heart attack, or would she die because she ignored the signs, thinking it was just a panic attack?

                   "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden

                    and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28).

To some of you, this may sound ludicrous. Do sane people really think this way? The truth is, 18.9 % of Americans deal with anxiety every year. And nearly half of all Americans consider themselves to be modern-day workaholics. The average American worker works approximately 4 hours for free each week, and spends another 4 hours a week thinking and planning for work. Essentially, they are working an extra day a week without pay, and without much needed rest. Do you think the drive to overwork ourselves has an impact on anxiety and stress? I think that's a no-brainer there-absolutely! 

                   "Come away by yourselves to a desolate place

                    and rest a while (Mark 6:31)."

The best example of how to handle responsibilities and pressure is to look at Jesus. God the Father showed us the first example of the need for rest in Genesis when He created the Earth, and all living things. He worked for 6 days, but on the 7th day, God rested. He didn't spend that 7th day planning for the next day, or worrying about what He needed to do next. He didn't feel guilty about taking a day of rest, nor did He fill it up with social activities that led to further exhaustion-it simply said He rested. And we read of Jesus' real need of rest as well. From feeding thousands, to healing countless sick people, to answering the questions of those clever and trying to trap Him with His words, we can only imagine how tired and weary He often felt. Jesus was absolutely never lazy, but He did long for peace, rest, quiet and times of refreshment praying to the Father. Both God and His Son, Jesus, understood the importance and necessity of rest.

                 "My presence will go with you, and I will give you

                  rest (Exodus 33:14)."

We often boast about our many accomplishments and the work we do. We love to tell others how busy we are, and feel inadequate if we don't rattle off a list of waiting responsibilities. The busier we are, the more productive we feel others view us. But oftentimes, our busyness alienates us from God's true purpose in our lives-serving Him and serving others! If I'm too busy to hear His voice, then I'm too busy. If I'm working so much that I am not available to those with real needs, then I'm working too much. If I'm stressed and anxious, maybe I need to consider my workload. In the world, being a workaholic may have a ring to it that is acceptable, and even admired. But as a Christian, being a workaholic leaves little room for kingdom work-work that has eternal value and reward. 

                 "In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O

                  LORD, make me dwell in safety (Psalm 4:8)."

When we pour most of our lives into our careers, we are pouring short in areas that matter most:relationships and building up the kingdom of God. Have you been that person, laying in bed with a pounding heart as you contemplate your list of responsibilities? This isn't the way God has for us, and He, Himself, gave us the pattern of the need for rest and refreshment. No guilt. No shame. Just a real need to withdraw from our duties, and refresh our souls and bodies. May we follow the example He has set before us. And may we not pour most of our efforts into things that have no lasting value for eternity. Ask God today to help you better serve Him and re-evaluate your priorities, and when you do-be prepared for some much needed rest!

Dear Heavenly Father, forgive us for our constant pursuit of worldly gain in our careers and in our work, and for neglecting real rest. Our rest is necessary for our physical, emotional and spiritual health, and we often are unhealthy in these areas because we neglect rest. Help us follow the pattern set before us in scripture, and quiet our souls in sleep and fellowship with our Father. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Temple Cleaning

          Has a mess ever made you want to pitch a fit? My mind only has to go back about 15 hours to the last time I felt that way. A well-exercised dog left while we did our "corona virus evening walk" (replacement exercise for our usual gym routine) ended in a terrible mess on my carpet. My daughter was first in the house and promptly came out to warn me and said, "Mom, you're gonna be mad." Honestly- I knew immediately what had happened, yet even that couldn't have prepared me for the state of my floors. Thank goodness for carpet shampooers and some elbow grease. Now- my house isn't quite a temple, but it's our place to enjoy and relax. I like things clean and neat, but I also love that dog! 
     I've been thinking lately of Jesus when He entered the temple and "threw a fit" (as a good southerner might say). Preceded by cursing a fig tree that didn't produce fruit in its off season, He enters the temple to see it being used for making a profit by some local merchants. This place, expected to uphold the holiness and dignity of a place of worship, had been turned into a "den of thieves". Jesus essentially walked in and said "this doesn't belong here", and began turning over the tables and casting out the money changers. 
     My body, according to 1 Corinthians 6:19, is a temple of the Holy Spirit. He lives in me, because I belong to Him. If Jesus was angry over things that don't belong in the temple, He has reason to be angry with me. What have I allowed in- and how does it make the Holy Spirit feel? The thing is- I can look like I have it all together on the outside, and be a total mess on the inside. While there was no way for the people to hide from the eyes of others, the filth allowed within the temple walls, it may not be so easy to see inside of me. While I may be able to fool others, God sees straight into my temple. 
     What mess could use a good cleaning inside of you? Maybe you struggle with pride, pornography, jealousy, or materialism. Maybe you have an addiction or have unconfessed sexual sin. Maybe you are unkind to others in your thoughts. Maybe you have a sharp tongue or a lack of grace toward others. There are so many dust bunnies tumbling around in our temples, and we need to clean them out daily. I don't say this to each of you without acknowledging my own need for some housecleaning. Pride and jealousy come easily for me- so easy, that I am too used to their presence, and don't often realize they are still tumbling around in my temple. And while they seem like regulars in my spirit, they are unwelcome invaders against the Spirit within me. 
     May I encourage you today to take a few minutes of your time to confess your mess to our Savior? Whatever things you've allowed to dirty up your temple- resolve to remove today. Will it just get dirty again? Likely- because we are human, we will need to practice our temple cleaning on the regular. Just as I would not be comfortable in my own home until that dog mess was removed and cleaned, the Holy Spirit doesn't like living in the mess I allow to junk up His temple. God- open my eyes to the messes I've grown accustomed to, and give me the courage and the help to do some temple cleaning. May my body, Your temple, be a place that glorifies You!

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 1 Corinthians 6:19 (ESV)
For you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:20 (ESV)
Put to death what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Colossians 3:5 (ESV)
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Romans 12:1 (ESV)

Dear heavenly Father, help us to keep our temples clean. May our hearts long to remove the things that are contrary to the Spirit within us. Only then can we enjoy complete fellowship with Your Son. In Your name we pray, Amen!

Pain

     Pain. We all experience it to some degree, and it's never enjoyable. Physical pain is pretty fresh in my mind as I just paid a visit to the dentist this morning for pain I've been experiencing. I had a tooth extracted last Monday, and a bone graft in the empty socket. The couple days following the procedure, I was sore, which I expected. But this past weekend (because complications always seem to arise over the weekends- am I right?), I began having throbbing pain that ibuprofen and hydrocodone barely touched. The long and short of it is, I had a dry socket in the extraction site, which is akin to childbirth in the pain department. A simple collagen sponge was inserted into my socket, and thank the Lord, the pain is already much more manageable. 
     Often, physical pain can be fixed with medicine or a procedure, and the pain is nothing but a bad, distant memory. Physical pain is actually helpful, in that it points out a problem in our body that needs immediate attention and treatment. Without feeling pain, we would not be aware that we had a medical need that needed addressed. As much as physical pain stinks, it has a good purpose, but emotional pain is a different story.
     Emotional pain can't be fixed with a prescription or a medical procedure. The pain I experienced after my husband's affair wasn't easily treated and cured. The pain he experienced as a result of what happened in our marriage, also didn't have a quick fix. Our pain was a result of infidelity and broken hearts, but there are other life events that cause emotional trauma and pain. The death of a loved one, sexual assault, and abuse are other arrows that cause deep emotional pain. If only there were a medicine that quickly fixed these issues, the developer would be a rich and famous person, for sure! While physical pain is often cured much faster, emotional pain takes time, effort, and commitment to properly heal.
     There are always lessons to learn, though, no matter what kind of pain we experience. Physical pain allows me to be compassionate when my friend says, "Can you believe I also have a dry socket?" I'll give them an understanding hug, and validate their moans and groans, knowing that they legitimately hurt. I'll offer advice about what to do to get relief, and they will listen because I've been there. Emotional pain offers the same opportunities. I hope and pray to be a voice of compassion and understanding toward others who experience infidelity in their marriage. My husband and I both wish to use our story to help hurting hearts, and make this a part of our ministry for Jesus Christ. 
     What are you hurting from? I'm sure you've experienced physical pain, but are you struggling with emotional pain in your life? In what ways can you use it to help others? In what ways have you allowed it to bring you closer to Jesus? Apart from His loving care and comfort, I would've been hard pressed to ever heal, and I am forever thankful for His help through each hurdle in my marriage, and my life. Any kind of pain forces us to stop and take notice of what's going on. If your pain is physical, listen to your body and seek answers from a physician. But if your pain is emotional, take time to seek real, lasting comfort from the Great Physician- our Savior. He has given us tools we need for healing- in others, in counseling, and through His Word. Take your pain to Him today- He longs for us to trust Him with our biggest difficulties, and in His time, He will heal the wounds we have today. I believe- because I am a living testimony of what God can do!

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." Revelation 21:4 ESV
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 ESV
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 ESV
You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book? Psalm 56:8 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for being a Healer of pain. Life can be full of many seasons that bring about deep physical or emotional pain, and I'm so grateful for Your comfort and healing in my own life. I pray that others who are hurting will find comfort in You, and that You will use me to help others. In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen! 

Home in Body

     One of my favorite times of the day, was when my husband walked in from work, and everyone was home. Our day time separation was over, and my heart just felt lighter when he was with me. When he left, there was a huge hole in my life- no one to come in the door at the end of the day, and share my evening with. Yes, I had my kids, but it's a different connection with a spouse. I missed him, and I missed the way things had been years before. 
     When we had our initial reconciliation, I felt excited. Someone would come home to me again, and someone would share life by my side. I would get a phone call around 5:00, and have a dinner companion by 6:00. Things felt good, but we weren't where I really wanted to be. We reconciled because it was the "right thing to do," and sometimes, that just isn't enough. What was missing was a firm foundation in Christ, and allowing Him to make us new. 
     And so we made a go of it, on our terms. He felt better by doing what was right, and I felt hopeful that in time, God would reach his heart. I prayed God would use me to draw him closer to Jesus, and made an initial effort in making this work. But as the days passed, it was obvious that without Him at the center of our marriage, it would not be the better marriage we had hoped for. And after only a short 6 weeks time, I already noticed a shift in his devotion to me.
     I knew it was happening again. The signs were all there. His phone became unavailable to my sight, and he withdrew. I would see him texting someone in a way where he would hide his phone from view, or he would lean back to text. His phone calls to me became short, so he had the rest of the commute home to talk to the one he really desired. He stopped texting me throughout his work day, and when I sent him messages, I would get one word answers. He avoided being home, and worked as much as possible to stay away from me. He became sarcastic and uncaring. And I realized that while I had my husband home in body, his spirit was elsewhere.
     Have you felt this? Living together, but worlds apart? Goodness, it stinks! And in those times, it is much more comfortable to not have them home, than to have them home against their wishes. I felt like a burden. I felt twice rejected, and unwanted. I felt resigned to a life without him, and was beginning to think that was our destiny. I chastised myself for allowing him to come back home as a man I wasn't satisfied with- a man living apart from God. I had never walked this journey, and felt having him home was better than having him somewhere else. But if God isn't at the center of it, it isn't time. What a painful lesson that was to learn.
     My story made me think of God. While He always knows my motives for returning to Him, He never turns me away. If I run, He pursues. I often return with a heart lacking enthusiasm, and yet He welcomes me, regardless of my heart. But He won't stop with me there- He will continue with me, until He not only captures my attention, but captures my heart. Oh God, forgive me for my wayward heart; a heart that has hurt You with my selfishness. Give me a heart devoted to Your ways, and Your Son! Help me to see myself through my husband's rejection, and return to You with abandon. Help me to serve You, not out of duty, but out of heart spilling over with love. And when I do, I will see my husband with Your eyes- lost, and in need of Your pursuit. 

Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! Psalm 139:7-8 ESV
You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. Deuteronomy 6:5 ESV
This Jesus is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders, which has become the cornerstone. Acts 4:11 ESV
And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. Matthew 7:25 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father, help me to keep You at the center of my marriage, and all relationships. When anything else is substituted, I fail and struggle. Help me to see my own condition before You, when I see my wayward spouse. May my heart be turned to You, not by obligation, but by absolute devotion. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!

How Infidelity Wounds Body Image

     If there is one thing I am certain of, it is how body image greatly suffers in the face of infidelity. Nothing invalidates us more than being passed over for someone else. The wounds don't quickly disappear, and may be a life struggle. We can seem to feel pretty confident in our looks and who we are, until we are rejected by our spouse. Those who have experienced this, can give me a painful head nod. 
     Rejection is an enemy of body image. We have the best intentions of feeling SELF confident, until it crumbles under the disapproval of our spouse. Never were my eyes more critical of myself than when I was faced with the awful truth of being left for another woman. What is it in me that is lacking, I wondered? Now let me be honest- I had a couple ideas up my sleeve already, since we women are generally pretty hard on ourselves. And since I'm being vulnerable here, I will let you in on my insecurities. 
     My primary insecurity is my loose, motherly stomach. If only it were still firm and flat, then maybe I would not be in this predicament. And where did all this cellulite come from? I used to try so hard to GAIN weight when I was younger. And why must my hair be so thin? I wish it was thick, full and naturally wavy. And if you really take a good look at me, I have a double chin. There- my flaws are out there for all of my blogging stumblers to find. 
     But the more I looked for my faults, the more I found the love of Christ. No matter what faults I saw, He chose me. No matter how many gray hairs I have, He knows each one, and completely accepts me. How shallow of me to question my body image in the face of sexual betrayal. Was my cellulite or double chin to blame for this mess? There is such a relief when we realize that our faults don't justify this kind of behavior. And if our love is based on physical traits, we don't know love. Too often, we fall into the trap of earning love based on sexual appeal and physical features. While it's true that we want to look nice and maintain our appearance for our spouse, it's also true that our love needs much deeper roots than that. 
     If your flaws are deflating you, step back and remember God's thoughts of you. He never holds cellulite or thin hair against us- He is far too busy looking at our hearts. Our culture puts far too much value on the outside appearance, and we miss the heart of those right in front of us. Some hearts are hurting and bruised. Some hearts are hard and lost. We need to really see others for who they are, instead of what they look like. God created you in His image. He loves us so much that He sent His Son to die in our place at Calvary. Don't miss the hearts of those you love, and don't be afraid to show yours to others. We are so much more than a face or a figure. Release your flaws to Him, knowing that we all have them. In the eyes of our Precious Savior, we are treasured beyond measure.

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7 ESV
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:14 ESV
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30 ESV
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 ESV

Dear Heavenly Father,
Help me to remember that You gave your life to spare mine. It's so shallow to be focused on our outward appearance and miss the hearts of those around us. I pray for people to see my heart as well, and I pray that when they do, they will find You there. Thank You for loving me without limitations or conditions, and help me to love others with that same abandon. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!