Extravagant Worshipper

 In my reading this week, I was touched by the act of Mary's extravagant gift to Jesus—the gift of perfumed ointment. She sat at the feet of Jesus and poured out a whole bottle of very expensive oil on His feet, weeping as she did so. She used her hair to wipe the oil from His feet, and here's the thing—she used the whole container on Jesus.

We read in Scripture that this ointment was costly. How much are we talking here? It says it was worth about 300 pence which would equal the salary for almost an entire year of wages. Now if we convert this into modern currency, depending on whose math you choose to go with (there are many opinions), you're looking at a price tag of somewhere between $15,00 and $56,000 for this alabaster box of nard. That's a lot of money! Which brings this Bible verse to mind:

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:21, ESV).

Our spending history reveals our hearts. This truth weighs heavily on me, revealing a lack in my heart for loving the LORD wholeheartedly. I hold back, and this is reflected in my spending which is why I know deep within my heart that I would only have used a little of that nard on Jesus and reserved the rest for another use. I'm unsettled by that truth and personally find it uncomfortable. I would love to think I would pour it all out on Jesus but I know myself well enough to know better.

What is it that may be holding you back from this type of extravagance? Maybe you would pour it all out, and if so, I want to be more like you. Or maybe like me, you would feel pretty accomplished and happy with yourself for giving a little bit of something so unbelievably expensive, thinking it was a sacrificial offering—but Jesus would know the truth. 

Mary's love for Jesus was evidenced in this act of worship. She didn't hold anything back from Him—she gave Him all of it. This shows her heart for Jesus, and how she properly understood His place in her life. Money wasn't greater than Him—she placed her own wants and needs under her worship of Him. Mary was a worshipper and this scene in Scripture gives us a front row seat to what that looks like.

God doesn't ask us to give gifts with a certain price tag, He just asks for our hearts. Not in part—but our whole heart. He is truly worthy of my heart and it saddens me to think of how often I reserve parts of it for other people or stuff. I don't do it intentionally, but when I stop to evaluate my own heart alongside the heart of Mary, I see myself falling far short. It's not wrong to love other people—in fact, as believers, we certainly should. But God should have the place of priority in my life and should be on the throne of my heart.

As I've thought of Mary's gift this week, it's humbled me. It's made me realize how far I fall short in my worship of Christ. I want to be more like Mary, yet the temptation to indulge myself often stands in the way. Jesus doesn't deserve being pushed down the totem pole while I place lesser things above Him. He is the Everlasting LORD—the King of kings. And all He asks of me is to love Him wholeheartedly. May that become more a more a reality in my heart and may it be reflected in my worship. 

If we want to be worshippers, we will have to remove the gods we place above Jesus—gods that have familiar names like money, comfort, materialism, sexual pleasure, food, and other worldly temptations. None of those will bring us the joy and satisfaction found in worshipping the only true God—Jesus. May our hearts be touched with how great His love is for us, and in return, may we worship Him with our whole hearts—hearts like Mary's. 

 

New Mercies

 Maybe you have a special place where you love meeting with Jesus to talk and just spend time together. For me—it's our neighborhood gated boat ramp. It's generally empty during the day so it's the perfect place to be outdoors, enjoy His beautiful creation, and have a good visit. If people saw me, they would likely think I'm crazy because I love to talk out loud—it just feels more real that way for me. And sometimes I sing—also good I'm alone down there. But this week on one of our visits, I enjoyed the truth from the book of Lamentations. The book title itself sounds negative and oppressing—but there are some really beautiful truths we don't want to gloss over. Like this well-known one which touched my heart this week:

"The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness (Lamentations 3:22-23, ESV)."

This is a truth I know in theory from reading Scripture, but it often slips my mind as I rise another day, unsure or sometimes anxious at what may lie ahead for me. But as I strolled through our boat dock I saw the truth of it all around me—and in me. This is what I saw:

There was the sun—same as yesterday, giving light for us to see. And it'll be there tomorrow as well. I crave the light and He gives it faithfully each day.

I saw deer scurrying through the woods in search of a tender leaf or fleeing from the disruption from my intrusion into their world. This happens day after day, and there they were again—doing all things deer. There are new opportunities in this day—new adventures and new food choices. He provides for them because He cares for His creation.

I saw my favorite blue heron—Baby Blue is what I like to call her. She's in search of fish as she soars above the waters surface scanning for one to rise close enough to swoop it out of the lake. She's been there for months and I plan to see her again tomorrow. She's not worried today that she won't have food tomorrow. She's enjoying the hunt of today without anxiety or worry.

And there's me. The past is behind me and I've made plenty of mistakes for sure. There's no reason He should want to meet with me here in this place, or any place for that matter. But I know He craves this time with me and He won't hold yesterday against me—He beckons me to start fresh today with repentance and appreciation for the grace He liberally bestows on me. New opportunities are in this day and He faithfully provides for me in ways I often fail to notice or give thanks for. 

What kind of God does this for us—for me? What is it in Him that gives me a chance, day after day, to start fresh? It's His love for me—a love bigger than I can understand. These times spent with Him are precious and special and I think the most awesome part of it all is that He enjoys this time with me! He loves giving me new mercies every morning and His very character is one of faithfulness! My thoughts aren't deep or complicated this week, but I hope that they may encourage any who have not met with Him as much lately to make some time for a really good visit. May your hearts be warmed by His new mercies and His faithful love—they are such precious gifts and give us the opportunity to lay aside the burdens and mistakes of yesterday, and embrace this new day! 

Looking Ahead and Standing Guard

It's a New Year—2022! It seems hard to believe we are where we are, and that we've come through some really difficult years and face a new one with all its challenges ahead of us. While we've closed out 2021, we still have some of the same issues staring us in the face as we begin 2022. And yet among all of the challenges, we still serve the same Faithful God. But as we look ahead, it's great to take stock of where we are today, where we've been, and how we can do better tomorrow.  

There's much to be said about being committed and faithful to fulfilling our spiritual purpose, and yet Satan is no less interested today in manipulating our spiritual demise. The fact is, he's very good at what he does, and if we don't guard ourselves, we will fall spiritually. When we fall, every other area of our life will suffer. Our families will suffer, our marriage will suffer, our relationships will suffer and we will not be an employee or employer that exemplifies integrity or godliness. In no way is it true that as believers, we are promised an easy ride—that's called prosperity gospel, and is unscriptural at its core. But when we fail to guard ourselves and give in to Satan's temptations when life gets tough, it will dismantle us spiritually—affecting us and those we love. 

Perhaps one of the most powerful sermons I recently heard spoke of how it's a good practice to walk yourself mentally through a fall. Imagine yourself sitting down those you love and respect the most, confessing your failure to them—eye to eye, one by one. Imagine their response as they hear news that will disappoint them or break their hearts—and how it will break yours to see the pain caused by bad choices. It's an exercise that's sobering and frightening and helps us visualize the damage that comes from bad choices. And here's the honest truth—it's a possibility for every single one of us no matter our age or how long we've walked with Christ so we must be on guard. 

As we embark on a new year, it's a good time to reflect on our priorities. Where is the biggest chunk of my time spent? Who am I focused on the most? Am I being obedient to God's call on my life, and living to serve and please Him? Somedays, the answer may look much better than the next. And somedays, I feel pricked in my heart that its primary focus isn't first on Jesus. We don't set out to rearrange our priorities, it happens little by little and day by day in the choices we make. If we are too busy, we often cut out the most vital part of what we need spiritually—unhurried time with our Father in heaven. 

It's true that we've maneuvered through some pretty challenging years—years we couldn't have even begun to imagine. We've faced physical challenges, social challenges, emotional challenges and when you group all of those together, it can spill over into our spiritual health, crippling us and making us vulnerable to Satan's attacks against us. But I think one of the most precious truths we can hold on to is this: Jesus is the same—He never changes no matter what our circumstances may look like today. He's the same compassionate, grace-filled, loving Savior He was yesterday, last year, and even 1,000 years ago. Whatever we face this year, He's with us and He's for us.

As I think of 2022, I want to see my priorities balance out a little more than they've looked like previously. I want to stop living as a believer on auto pilot, going through the motions at times yet lacking spiritual fervor. I want to lay out further groundwork to protect my marriage, my family, my local church and the relationships I enjoy with family and friends. I want to acknowledge the propensity each day for slow steps in the wrong direction, and make corrections that will keep me on a path that pleases Christ. And should I live long enough to close out 2022, I pray that I'll see growth, development, enhanced relationships and harmony and joy in my home as I look back on the year. I pray I'll be committed to continually loving and better serving my husband, my family, my church family and most of all Jesus. And then I also pray that I'll strive for even more the following year so that each year, little by little, I'm starting to look a lot more like Him and a lot less like me. 

The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps (Proverbs 16:9, ESV).

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change (James 1:17, ESV).

A Different Christmas

 The thing about Christmas celebrations are that they are often deeply rooted in tradition. I love traditions—especially Christmas traditions. I am a sentimental girl at heart and nothing pulls on those heartstrings like the things that make our Christmas unique and special to me and my own family. Just hearing Ray Conniff's version of "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear" conjures up memories from the time I was a little girl. It's a tradition we still have as a signal that it's time for Christmas festivities to begin.

But sometimes, traditions change. It's hard to part with those we held dear for so long, but life changes, so naturally, traditions change too. And there is good in that mixed with a little sadness as well. And because life changes, we often find ourselves with empty chairs at the Christmas table. Maybe our loved one is spending Christmas somewhere else this year, or maybe they've passed away.

This has been another difficult year for so many. Personally, I have lost friends of mine this year to Covid19, and it's been hard to come to grips with. Families will be celebrating, but with huge, gaping holes in their hearts. Some may not even be able to conjure up a Christmas plan—their pain is too deep. My heart aches for them.

Our own Christmas table has dwindled through the years—some from change, and some from death. And yet as we may feel a sense of disappointment or sadness, we must remember that Christmas isn't about tradition or even who is seated at our table. And while it doesn't necessarily erase the pain or the adjustment we face with change, it does prompt us to reflect on what this season is all about.

When I think of Christmas, what are my first thoughts about? I confess it's so easy to get caught up in the traditions and the commercialization of the holiday. I also confess to love those aspects of Christmas, but they don't touch my heart the way the greater story does—the birth of our Savior that long ago night in a stable in Bethlehem. I've spent perhaps more time reflecting on that story this year than any year prior, and I think one of the reasons is the story remains the same. Nothing about it will ever change, and that's a beautiful thing.

Change is inevitable. People change and life changes. We move on from certain things and never look back. We may change locations or career paths or find ourselves facing family changes. Empty nests and new babies—marriage and sadly even divorce—falling in love and feeling brokenhearted and alone—these are also everyday realities for us. And while some may feel joyful this Christmas season, some are also depressed, discouraged, lonely and heartbroken.

If you're facing some changes you may not feel happy about this season, maybe the unchanging, faithful story of Jesus birth can fill you with joy. His birth is the very hope the world had waited for—the hope for a Savior to rescue and redeem a broken world. That child was the fulfillment of promises made from the beginning of time, and the promise I still hold to for my own redemption. 

Christmas is Jesus—it's not in all the things we try to make it about, even as they may enhance our celebrating. And so whatever your Christmas looks like—different or the same—the reason behind it will never change. She brought forth her newborn Son and called His name JESUS—because He would save His people from sin. That's an unchanging truth worth celebrating with great joy.

She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins (Matthew 1:21, ESV)."

The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever (Isaiah 40:8, ESV).

God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man, that he should change his mind. Has he said, and will he not do it? Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it (Numbers 23:19, ESV)?

You First

 Today was my errand running day in a nearby town. I wanted to go to Target, Best Buy, and Bath and Body for those $10.25 3-wick candles. If you're reading this on December 3rd, the sale is still on! Everywhere I went was busy and crowded. I found myself rushing from one place to the next and on my drive home, I felt uptight and a little irritated for no real reason at all. 

That's the worst mood to be in if you're going to have a tailgater bumping along behind you—am I right? It seemed everyone was uptight along with me, and as much as I love the Christmas season, it seems to make us a little short on patience (or is it just me?). I behaved myself and didn't give in to extreme aggravation because the words I heard from a sermon lately rolled right across my heart. Those words were "you first". 

Not easy. Not natural. Not what usually first comes to mind when I feel stressed or under pressure, but there they were, plain as day and meant specifically for me in that moment. Instead of head shaking and cutting looks and maybe even the teensiest bit of slowing down on purpose, I simply heard those words over and over and over again.

This got me thinking about how this phrase should be my posture every day, all the time. A busy line filled with cranky people? Allow the mom with the screaming toddler to go first. One sought after toy of this holiday season sits there staring at you and one other mom that looks menacing and slightly threatening? Politely say, "please—help yourself." The last piece of apple pie all warm and gooey and delicious—give it to the person behind you.

I've got to say, this will need to be a discipline we must continually learn because it asks us to deny ourselves. I don't know about you, but when it comes down to it, I can be pretty selfish—especially to a stranger I know nothing about. But can you imagine how much less stress, and more joy we would feel if we simply chose to serve others by saying, "you first"? 

This posture of serving is one Jesus taught us Himself in the life He displayed for us in Scripture. To the hungry people—He met their need, even though He was surely tired and hungry Himself. To the disciples He loved and spent His days with, He washed their dirty feet. To the towns He visited—although He would be going out of His way for just one person, He went anyway so they could be healed. He taught us the discipline of "you first" by His own example. 

As is my habit, I am often rushing from one thing to another, feeling short of breath from stress as I move through my busier days. These are the moments I'm most likely to display character that is selfish, rather than selfless. I pray that this season—as I enjoy so many things about it, I'll be able to remove hurry from my life and feel more at peace. I pray that I'll be less uptight and more gracious. And that any time I begin to feel irritated from the rush, I'll remember those words once again, preserving me from an attitude that would not please the Lord. "You first". . .that's my Christmas motto.

In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, "It is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35, ESV)."

Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Matthew 20:28, ESV)."

And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them, "If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all (Mark 9:35, ESV)."

Our Daily Bread

 Bread is one of my most pleasurable life indulgences. It's not good for my waistline, but it tastes incredibly delicious. Even just the smell of it can make my mouth water. Give me some cold butter (no substitutes!) and I'm a happy woman! Any other bread lovers out there? I get this love of bread from my dad. We often teased him about how happy it made him when they brought a fresh bread basket to the table at a restaurant. But seriously—I was no less happy than he. 

Bread is mentioned often in the Bible. In fact, I was pretty surprised when I googled the number, and found it is mentioned around 492 times. That's a pretty remarkable number and causes us to take note, recognizing it has extreme significance in God's Word. Perhaps one of the most notable Bible references that comes to mind is how God sent manna to sustain the Children of Israel in the wilderness. Each day, He sent what was necessary to fill each of them with their necessary food as this delightful bread was provided early each morning. The taste of manna is described as wafers with honey. I'm sold!

But the next mention of bread that stands out to me is in the Lord's Prayer. He states, "Give us this day, our daily bread." Now I believe this prayer includes our physical need for nourishment, but also—so much more. I think of this statement being whispered from our own lips in situations that call for help. Help that doesn't include physical hunger but reveals a need—needs that express a void or a situation that distresses us—a place only the Lord can fill.

"I don't know how we will pay all the bills this month!"

(Give us this day, our daily bread)

"I have no idea what to do about the state of my marriage!"

(Give us this day, our daily bread)

"How can I go on without her?"

(Give us this day, our daily bread)

"I feel so stressed out with all these deadlines."

(Give us this day, our daily bread)

"I feel inadequate as a wife, a mother, or an employee."

(Give us this day, our daily bread)

Scripture refers to Jesus as the Bread of Life—our Sustenance and our Sustainer. He isn't just the Provider of our food, but the Provision for our every need. When we are stressed, worried, afraid, insecure, or sick—He is our Bread. He longs to fill our hearts and minds—not just our stomachs. 

Whatever has you emotionally bogged down, whisper words of invitation to our Bread of Life—words that ask Him to fill the needs you have today. He created you and all of creation. He conquered the cross. He rose from the grave. He saves us from hell. And as we read in the Bible a handful of times: "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" The answer is no. 

Life is difficult and full of situations that distress us, and sometimes—life just hurts. But we aren't without hope. We haven't been left here to flounder on our own. Jesus—our Bread of Life longs to sustain us. We can face the impossible with expectance. As much as our shoulders want to droop and our breath may become short and shallow, we have every reason to stand tall and run the race set before us. Whatever is troubling you, release it at the feet of Jesus. Recall His great power and His perfect ability to stand in the midst of your inadequacies—even if it's just a whispered prayer for Him to supply your daily bread.

Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst (John 6:35, ESV)."

I Wasn't Ready Yet

 I received a message through my Instagram account the other day, and something in it really struck a chord with me: "I wasn't ready, yet", she said. I've said it, and maybe you have too. How many things do we not feel ready for? I know for me, the list would be pretty extensive. In this particular case, she wasn't ready for words of hope—because sometimes, we feel the need to flounder in our grief and pain as we grapple with reality. We wrestle with our shocking feelings surrounding painful circumstances, and need to spend some time there.

I can relate. I have my own lapse between discovery and the quest for healing. Or maybe that lapse is really just the very beginning of the process that leads us to healing. When we receive shocking news—whether betrayal in our marriage, the death of a loved one, a serious diagnosis, or some other painful discovery, our initial response is not usually acceptance—that comes later in the grieving/healing process.

It helps to know this is a natural response for most humans. It doesn't make me a bad person or a bad Christian if I spend a little time between discovery and acceptance. It doesn't mean I don't believe God is good—but it does mean my faith in His goodness is being called to the test, even as He patiently waits for me to learn to trust Him with this hard news.

The truth is, when I hear something especially difficult, I like to nurse that pain for a while. Whether it's minutes or days, those feelings match the bad news. I need time to properly grieve those hurts and disappointments before I feel ready to move on and move forward—maybe you need this space too. But even in those days of nursing my wounds and floundering in my feelings, I'm still so deeply touched with His tender presence—giving comfort until I'm ready. 

I lost a dear friend this week, and I wasn't ready to hear she had passed away. I had hoped for healing—healing that would place her back in this world—healthy and whole and pouring herself back into her family and friends once again. We prayed and we believed, yet God took her home. I feel pain over our temporary parting—space is needed until acceptance comes. God knows. He understands our need for this time, yet it won't stop Him from planting precious truths into our hurting hearts. This is the soil needed for future acceptance—knowing He deeply cares for our hurts and pains.

Maybe you're somewhere between hard news and acceptance. Maybe you're wrestling with the darkness of those painful feelings—the deepness of grief. Maybe you don't even want to think of God, and are pressing against His longing to comfort you. If He is in control, then He could have allowed a different outcome—different news than what you're facing. Does He care for your hurt and pain, and does He understand the feelings we face as we grieve? He does, friends, He does.

We need days where we wallow in the bad news and we ask God, "why?" And while it's a natural part of the process of grieving, let us not stay stuck there. The truth is, bad news will come to us all at some point in our lives—and it seems more and more often as we age. Sin has broken this world, and it's broken us, too. That's why we desperately need Jesus—the God of all comfort. 

Maybe today you don't feel ready to accept whatever it is you're facing. Maybe you just want to nurse your pain another day. Maybe you aren't ready yet—ready to move forward. To accept. To heal. To trust God with your broken heart. Maybe today, hope doesn't feel possible. But tomorrow is a new day. Pray about your heart. Know that Jesus cares so very deeply for you. His ways are best, even when they hurt. 

We don't always need to know why, but eventually we must accept the present reality. We must remember God's faithful love, and that He works all things for good–even when it doesn't feel good. One day, you'll be ready, and one day you'll look back and see how far He's brought you. Don't spend too much time wallowing and nursing your pain—you have big things He has planned for you—things you don't want to miss. You aren't alone in this—He is always with us. So today in that space between hard news and acceptance, may you feel His love beckoning you to trust Him. May you learn to lean into His tender, strong arms and carry you through. He is our Good, Good Father—every single moment of every single day.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, ESV). 

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (Psalm 147:3, ESV).