There are a few things I have proclaimed I would never do in life! One was marrying my husband;) My husband was my younger brother's BFF, so I never took him seriously when he said he liked me. I also never really thought I would be a fan of spray tans, but today, I sit here nice and golden (not orange), waiting to board a ship tomorrow. I mean, who likes to be pale when you're cruising the high seas? So I've learned something about the word "never" - a word I should use less often, and with careful consideration.
Never was a word we used about infidelity. In our marriage, we believed it was a "never"- yet here we are, living in the "it happened to us". I wonder if you've said it about your marriage, too. While it's an admirable goal, and one we hope to live up to, it's also a prideful statement. Anyone can fall, and I was taught that lesson in a painful way. I think a much better way to look at infidelity is to not say "never", but to carry out daily practices to protect you from a real possibility of falling to it. Because if you know my husband, you know, like me, that it really can happen to any of us. And while you may outwardly acknowledge the truth in that, you may inwardly whisper- but not for us.
What are your "nevers" in life? Looking back, how many did you actually end up doing at some point? For me, I have crossed plenty "nevers" off of my mental list. I've found that my "nevers" were rooted in pride, believing myself to be better than I truly am. But I've also found freedom in falling to them- freedom that when I do fall to my own ridiculous standards, God isn't surprised, and He is there for me, waiting for me to allow Him to carry me through.
If you feel as if you are safe from an extramarital affair, let go of that assumption. There isn't a need to feel fearful when you let go, but instead, look to God as the foundation in your marriage, and build it up day by day. Acknowledge your need of protection from sin, and arm yourselves daily in staying committed, and faithful. And please, never say never when it comes to infidelity. Instead, pray that God protects your marriage, and that you remember Who should be guiding each of you every day! You are never safer than when He is at the center of your marriage- so don't let Him go!
But I am afraid that as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your thoughts will be led astray from a sincere and pure devotion to Christ. 2 Corinthians 11:3 ESV
Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. 1 Corinthians 10:12 ESV
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 ESV
Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I confess my pride in believing I am above falling to sin. Help me protect my marriage by allowing You to be at the center of it, and encouraging my spouse to allow that as well. Thank You for faithfully restoring and forgiving when we do fall. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Thursday, February 21, 2019
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
Intimacy after Infidelity
This is a hard topic to write about, and I would love to skirt around the issue, but it's a pretty big part of the story. Not to mention, my parents read my blog ("Hi Mom and Dad" ;) and yet, I feel called to tastefully bring up this subject. For some, you may have experienced infidelity in your marriage, and were never intimate again with the spouse who betrayed you. For others, like me, you have experienced intimacy with your spouse, after a sexual affair.
For all of my almost 25 years of marriage to my husband, there was never anyone else to compare myself to, when it came to sex. We married as virgins and figured out the whole mystery of sex together. It was beautiful and pure and I never had to wonder how I measured up. He had the same luxury, knowing that I only knew him, and there was no judgment or comparison in the bedroom. This is the way God designed sex- as a way of demonstrating love between a man and wife within the union of marriage. Our world has a really messed up view of sex- very different than what God created it for, and Satan has used sex to lure plenty of married men or women away from their spouse.
Friends, if you and your spouse have only had sex with each other, thank them today for their gift of faithfulness. This gift is so precious and not to be taken for granted. I confess that I never anticipated an affair in our marriage, and felt secure in remaining untouched by sexual betrayal. Because it has touched our marriage, I now wonder things I had never wondered about before. It's natural to wonder how I measure up or where I fell short. It's hard to think of what was exclusively mine, being shared with an outsider. It's painful to have images or scenarios in our brains that may or may not be real. It was far simpler before these issues and heartaches became a part of our marriage, and yet they are.
So, how do we deal with them? Other than counseling (which I strongly suggest), how do you gain confidence in intimacy after betrayal? Can you gain confidence? In my story, it was initially hard to do, but with God's guiding, and open communication, healing comes. And while I will save most of that for another day, the bottom line for today is this: God never intends for our marriages to face infidelity, and it is outside of His plan for us. But He will use sexual betrayal to teach us more about His faithfulness, when we experience unfaithfulness by others. And just as He makes us new creations in Christ, He can also mend a broken marriage. It will take time, patience, effort and consistency. But there is no problem too big for Him- in all things, and in all ways, He is able. My hope is, was, and will be in Jesus Christ! I choose to listen to what He says about me, than what Satan whispers in my ear. I refuse to play the comparison game. I am who God chose for my husband, and so I am not only the best woman for him, but the only woman. God help us to remain faithful all the rest of our days- and thank You God for making broken things, wonderfully beautiful again!
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 ESV
"You shall not commit adultery. Exodus 20:14 ESV
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 ESV
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22 ESV
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Colossians 3:5 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of sex; it's a beautiful gift, and yet so often abused and used in the wrong way. Protect our marriages from sexual betrayal, and when we are sexually betrayed, may we come to You for healing and hope. Help us not to be held captive by feelings of inadequacy or rejection, but to remember what You say about us. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
For all of my almost 25 years of marriage to my husband, there was never anyone else to compare myself to, when it came to sex. We married as virgins and figured out the whole mystery of sex together. It was beautiful and pure and I never had to wonder how I measured up. He had the same luxury, knowing that I only knew him, and there was no judgment or comparison in the bedroom. This is the way God designed sex- as a way of demonstrating love between a man and wife within the union of marriage. Our world has a really messed up view of sex- very different than what God created it for, and Satan has used sex to lure plenty of married men or women away from their spouse.
Friends, if you and your spouse have only had sex with each other, thank them today for their gift of faithfulness. This gift is so precious and not to be taken for granted. I confess that I never anticipated an affair in our marriage, and felt secure in remaining untouched by sexual betrayal. Because it has touched our marriage, I now wonder things I had never wondered about before. It's natural to wonder how I measure up or where I fell short. It's hard to think of what was exclusively mine, being shared with an outsider. It's painful to have images or scenarios in our brains that may or may not be real. It was far simpler before these issues and heartaches became a part of our marriage, and yet they are.
So, how do we deal with them? Other than counseling (which I strongly suggest), how do you gain confidence in intimacy after betrayal? Can you gain confidence? In my story, it was initially hard to do, but with God's guiding, and open communication, healing comes. And while I will save most of that for another day, the bottom line for today is this: God never intends for our marriages to face infidelity, and it is outside of His plan for us. But He will use sexual betrayal to teach us more about His faithfulness, when we experience unfaithfulness by others. And just as He makes us new creations in Christ, He can also mend a broken marriage. It will take time, patience, effort and consistency. But there is no problem too big for Him- in all things, and in all ways, He is able. My hope is, was, and will be in Jesus Christ! I choose to listen to what He says about me, than what Satan whispers in my ear. I refuse to play the comparison game. I am who God chose for my husband, and so I am not only the best woman for him, but the only woman. God help us to remain faithful all the rest of our days- and thank You God for making broken things, wonderfully beautiful again!
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 ESV
"You shall not commit adultery. Exodus 20:14 ESV
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 ESV
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. 2 Timothy 2:22 ESV
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Colossians 3:5 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of sex; it's a beautiful gift, and yet so often abused and used in the wrong way. Protect our marriages from sexual betrayal, and when we are sexually betrayed, may we come to You for healing and hope. Help us not to be held captive by feelings of inadequacy or rejection, but to remember what You say about us. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
Jesus in the Storm
I think of Jesus in a passage found in Mark 4, on a ship with His disciples. There was a terrible storm that blew up while they were out on the water and the winds howled and the waves splashed so high, the water was flooding the ship. The disciples were terrified and feverishly trying to fight against capsizing or drowning. Jesus was on the ship with them, but instead of being worried and uptight, He was sleeping. The disciples finally came to Him with frustration asking how He can sleep when they were in this situation. Jesus calmly awakes and rebukes the waves and wind and the storm immediately vanishes, leaving only peace and calm. The disciples are astonished at His ability to control even the winds and the waves.
I faced a storm in my marriage. The storm of infidelity was ugly and terrifying. I was like the disciples, feverishly trying to find a way to simply survive and escape the awful effects of it. My winds and waves came in the form of rejection, betrayal, insecurity, shock and pain. These feelings crashed against my spirit, wounding me and leaving me afraid and vulnerable. And yet Jesus was not afraid, nor was He vulnerable, and He was with me in that storm. He was a calming presence, assuring me that the winds and waves wouldn't have the ultimate victory. He was strong and powerful, able to conquer my storm, though He chose not to for longer than I desired.
Jesus is always in control in every situation, so He never needs to worry about outcomes. He knows what will happen, and He won't ever be taken by surprise. If I could have peeked a year or two into the future, I may have gotten my answer and not felt the need to be as insecure or worried. But God doesn't want me to go through a storm without learning some valuable lessons. And so I kept fighting against those winds and waves until I finally realized that the storm wasn't mine to fight. I was exhausted from the burden of fighting the storm and simply allowed God to take my burden and trusted Him to fight it for me. And just like we read in Mark 4, my Heavenly Father brought peace- not peace because the storm was no longer there, but peace in allowing the One Who is able, to fight it for me!
And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, "Why are you so afraid? Have you no faith?" And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, "Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?" Mark 4:37-41 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for staying with me through the storms I encounter in my life, and for conquering them when I give up my will for Yours. Help me to learn the lessons from the storm, and come out on the other side with renewed faith and strength in Your power and ability. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
I faced a storm in my marriage. The storm of infidelity was ugly and terrifying. I was like the disciples, feverishly trying to find a way to simply survive and escape the awful effects of it. My winds and waves came in the form of rejection, betrayal, insecurity, shock and pain. These feelings crashed against my spirit, wounding me and leaving me afraid and vulnerable. And yet Jesus was not afraid, nor was He vulnerable, and He was with me in that storm. He was a calming presence, assuring me that the winds and waves wouldn't have the ultimate victory. He was strong and powerful, able to conquer my storm, though He chose not to for longer than I desired.
Jesus is always in control in every situation, so He never needs to worry about outcomes. He knows what will happen, and He won't ever be taken by surprise. If I could have peeked a year or two into the future, I may have gotten my answer and not felt the need to be as insecure or worried. But God doesn't want me to go through a storm without learning some valuable lessons. And so I kept fighting against those winds and waves until I finally realized that the storm wasn't mine to fight. I was exhausted from the burden of fighting the storm and simply allowed God to take my burden and trusted Him to fight it for me. And just like we read in Mark 4, my Heavenly Father brought peace- not peace because the storm was no longer there, but peace in allowing the One Who is able, to fight it for me!
And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, "Why are you so afraid? Have you no faith?" And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, "Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?" Mark 4:37-41 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for staying with me through the storms I encounter in my life, and for conquering them when I give up my will for Yours. Help me to learn the lessons from the storm, and come out on the other side with renewed faith and strength in Your power and ability. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Monday, February 18, 2019
Triggered
If you have experienced an emotional trauma in life, you likely have triggers that bring it back to mind. It may be a smell, a phrase, a song, or something you see. You may think you have effectively put it away from the forefront of your mind, and when you experience a trigger, it slams its unwelcome presence back to the surface of your brain. We may do our best to try to avoid our triggers, but at some point, we will likely come face to face with one that will unnerve us and cause us to remember.
For me, I have quite a few that come to mind. I love music- many different genres. There is an extensive list of country music songs that make me dive for the power button, hoping to never hear them again. And places- I have a list of them that I prefer not to revisit for the memories they evoke. Even seasons can be painful, remembering what was going on during that time when we were in our valley of pain and heartache.
You likely have your own triggers, and you know what they are. It's crazy how well we think we are doing, and then a trigger puts us back in our minds to a place we don't want to remember. But the triggers will stay with us, so I have made a plan for what to do with them when they surface- because I know they will. I could choose to let them ruin my day or moment, or I can look at them in a different way. I can see how far I have come from that bad memory, and how God faithfully walked me through the storm. I can remember the family and friends that stepped in and carried my burdens with me. I can see how God used that bad season to make me stronger and more dependent on Him. I can see how He placed people in my life that would need me because I know the pain of that trial- and how their need of me, in turn, helped in my own healing. Yes, I will choose to think of the good that came from those bad moments when I hear that blasted song yet again, or think about that place I don't want to go, ever again. And one day, those memories won't hurt quite so bad. I'll learn to be thankful that God allowed them, knowing it would be a part of my story that would make me softer, more relatable, and overwhelmed at God's ability to make what was intended for evil, more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.
And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. Deuteronomy 8:2 ESV
Remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, Isaiah 46:9 ESV
I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. Psalm 77:11 ESV
I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that you have done; I ponder the work of your hands. Psalm 143:5 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, my memory holds some painful experiences, but I pray that You will help me recall Your faithfulness to me through those experiences. You walked me through the darkest parts of my story, and You are there even when I think I don't need You. Lord, I always need You, and I'm thankful You are always there with me. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Sunday, February 17, 2019
Sunday Relationship Tips- Making Time
Have you ever longed for a couple days, way back then? Before cell phones, tv, dishwashers, cars, internet, and washing machines? I know- lots of manual work we aren't used to doing ourselves. But I'm talking about time when life was simpler and less crammed full of activity. While we have all the luxuries to make our work shorter, we aren't benefitting from them in the form of leisure. With all of the time I save from having a dishwasher or washing machine and dryer, I will find fillers for the time I saved. This is the way of modern day living, and there are some pretty steep consequences involved.
Relationships are suffering from lack of making time for them. We like to think we are doing good things by filling our day to the brim, but in the end, we are paying a high price. While there is a place for work, studying, running errands, and exercising, if they leave no time for prioritizing our relationships with those we love and our relationship with the Lord, we need to find things to cross off our list.
We are busy people, and we like to point out to others just how busy we are. Can you imagine if you spoke to someone, and asked how life was and they told you this? "Well, I went to work today and made time to sit down and talk with my wife for a while. We ate dinner and then took a walk together, just enjoying the day and each other's company. We came home and played a game with our kids and then had some devotion time together before we turned in a little early." You might think to yourself, wow- wish that was my life, it sounds so easy and almost lazy. Instead, we wake up and check social media. We work out and grab coffee and a granola bar on the run. We work and we pack up more work to bring home with us. We drive the kids to practice and try to make all their games. We rush around and try to squeeze in church and some yard work. Then we crash in bed and start all over again the next day.
This frenzied pace doesn't allow for cultivating relationships. I'm serious when I suggest looking for things to cross off the list. Being an overachiever can make you an underachiever with your spouse, or in any close relationship. In my own marriage, I can look back and see how being too busy resulted in a relational disconnect. Make time for those you love and care for. And make time for growing in your relationship with Christ. When we make our spiritual journey a priority, we can see with clarity the importance of the choices we are making. We all have things we can cross off our list- even something as simple as setting a limit on social media, or a television time limit. When we show those we love that they have a place of prominence in our time, it builds the relationship up, rather than tear it down. What will you cross off your list today?
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, Hebrews 10:24 ESV
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12:10 ESV
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of time. I pray You will give me wisdom on how I spend it, and that I will make time for not only knowing more about You, but that I'll spend it loving others and making them a priority. Help me to have the discipline to cross things off of my list that are keeping me from connecting effectively with those I love. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Relationships are suffering from lack of making time for them. We like to think we are doing good things by filling our day to the brim, but in the end, we are paying a high price. While there is a place for work, studying, running errands, and exercising, if they leave no time for prioritizing our relationships with those we love and our relationship with the Lord, we need to find things to cross off our list.
We are busy people, and we like to point out to others just how busy we are. Can you imagine if you spoke to someone, and asked how life was and they told you this? "Well, I went to work today and made time to sit down and talk with my wife for a while. We ate dinner and then took a walk together, just enjoying the day and each other's company. We came home and played a game with our kids and then had some devotion time together before we turned in a little early." You might think to yourself, wow- wish that was my life, it sounds so easy and almost lazy. Instead, we wake up and check social media. We work out and grab coffee and a granola bar on the run. We work and we pack up more work to bring home with us. We drive the kids to practice and try to make all their games. We rush around and try to squeeze in church and some yard work. Then we crash in bed and start all over again the next day.
This frenzied pace doesn't allow for cultivating relationships. I'm serious when I suggest looking for things to cross off the list. Being an overachiever can make you an underachiever with your spouse, or in any close relationship. In my own marriage, I can look back and see how being too busy resulted in a relational disconnect. Make time for those you love and care for. And make time for growing in your relationship with Christ. When we make our spiritual journey a priority, we can see with clarity the importance of the choices we are making. We all have things we can cross off our list- even something as simple as setting a limit on social media, or a television time limit. When we show those we love that they have a place of prominence in our time, it builds the relationship up, rather than tear it down. What will you cross off your list today?
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, Hebrews 10:24 ESV
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12:10 ESV
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of time. I pray You will give me wisdom on how I spend it, and that I will make time for not only knowing more about You, but that I'll spend it loving others and making them a priority. Help me to have the discipline to cross things off of my list that are keeping me from connecting effectively with those I love. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Saturday, February 16, 2019
Just for Spite
When people do bad things to us, we like to get even. You hurt me; I'll hurt you. People misuse the biblical truth of "an eye for an eye" to retaliate when someone hurts us. But when we really know the whole picture of His Word, it couldn't be further from the truth. But I've been there, and I've done it. And I'm betting you can relate, because that's our nature.
I started this behavior as a little child with my siblings. If you hit me, I'll hit you back, and hopefully a little harder than you hit me. I carried it with me into my school years, where a friend would say something I didn't like, so I snapped back. Or there were even times when I just didn't like someone, for no particular reason, so how about I do or say something that will upset them, or hurt their feelings? I'm ashamed to say I'm guilty. And guess what? It didn't stop when I was a teenager- I have carried it into my adult relationships as well.
We get a little better at disguising it when we get a little older. If I don't like something you did, I may push you away to make you "pay". If I don't like something you said, I may use your words against you in the future to get a little dig in. Because the bottom line is, I'm selfish, and more interested in making myself feel good, than to make others feel good. And this carried over into my marriage. Can you relate?
I remember times when I wasn't getting my way in my marriage, or wasn't being heard, so I decided to do something "just for spite." You know, you only get momentary pleasure from that behavior, and then the Holy Spirit (if you're listening) will bring a feeling of remorse. In the end, I never felt great afterwards, and it showed a spirit of spiritual immaturity and selfishness. I can even think of examples in my parenting where their behavior had an uncalled for response from me to make them "sorry" for what they did or said. I'm not talking about proper discipline, because I'm a big advocate for that. I'm talking about preferences that didn't cater to what I really wanted.
Can you think of times when you did things for spite? Our spite hurts others, and is never the right approach to a wrong action taken against us. I am so thankful I love and serve a God Who doesn't play the games we play. If He were ever to get even with me, I can't tell you where I would be- but I can tell you I would not have a heavenly home. While it was my human nature to be spiteful towards my unfaithful spouse, it should not be in my spiritual nature. The very foundation of a christian life is found on the principles of grace, mercy and forgiveness. These attributes won't come easy for us, but when we follow the example of Jesus, we will extend them, rather than use spiteful behavior.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." Romans 12:19 ESV
Do not say, "I will repay evil"; wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you. Proverbs 20:22 ESV
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 ESV
Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 1 Peter 3:9 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, keep my heart and mind from spiteful thoughts and actions. Help me to exercise grace, love, and mercy demonstrated by Your Son. May I learn to be patient and kind to everyone, and especially to those who hurt me. Teach me Your ways, and help me to live a life that pleases You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
I started this behavior as a little child with my siblings. If you hit me, I'll hit you back, and hopefully a little harder than you hit me. I carried it with me into my school years, where a friend would say something I didn't like, so I snapped back. Or there were even times when I just didn't like someone, for no particular reason, so how about I do or say something that will upset them, or hurt their feelings? I'm ashamed to say I'm guilty. And guess what? It didn't stop when I was a teenager- I have carried it into my adult relationships as well.
We get a little better at disguising it when we get a little older. If I don't like something you did, I may push you away to make you "pay". If I don't like something you said, I may use your words against you in the future to get a little dig in. Because the bottom line is, I'm selfish, and more interested in making myself feel good, than to make others feel good. And this carried over into my marriage. Can you relate?
I remember times when I wasn't getting my way in my marriage, or wasn't being heard, so I decided to do something "just for spite." You know, you only get momentary pleasure from that behavior, and then the Holy Spirit (if you're listening) will bring a feeling of remorse. In the end, I never felt great afterwards, and it showed a spirit of spiritual immaturity and selfishness. I can even think of examples in my parenting where their behavior had an uncalled for response from me to make them "sorry" for what they did or said. I'm not talking about proper discipline, because I'm a big advocate for that. I'm talking about preferences that didn't cater to what I really wanted.
Can you think of times when you did things for spite? Our spite hurts others, and is never the right approach to a wrong action taken against us. I am so thankful I love and serve a God Who doesn't play the games we play. If He were ever to get even with me, I can't tell you where I would be- but I can tell you I would not have a heavenly home. While it was my human nature to be spiteful towards my unfaithful spouse, it should not be in my spiritual nature. The very foundation of a christian life is found on the principles of grace, mercy and forgiveness. These attributes won't come easy for us, but when we follow the example of Jesus, we will extend them, rather than use spiteful behavior.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." Romans 12:19 ESV
Do not say, "I will repay evil"; wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you. Proverbs 20:22 ESV
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1 ESV
Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 1 Peter 3:9 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, keep my heart and mind from spiteful thoughts and actions. Help me to exercise grace, love, and mercy demonstrated by Your Son. May I learn to be patient and kind to everyone, and especially to those who hurt me. Teach me Your ways, and help me to live a life that pleases You. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
Friday, February 15, 2019
Remembering 2/14/18
If you have had a serious break-up, or your marriage faced an affair or another serious issue, you probably remember Valentine's Day in that time period. I dreaded it from the day he walked out the door. Sadly, I only had about six weeks before the day was upon me. For 24 years, we had enjoyed this day together. We always got each other a sappy card, a gift, and enjoyed a dinner date out to celebrate. It was a special day of celebrating our love, and I had always looked forward to it.
But 2/14/18 wasn't like that. It was sad and awkward. If I could have somehow slept through it without waking until 2/15, that would've been great, but that wasn't really fair to my kids, or possible. The day before, I remember getting a text from my husband that it would be a difficult day for us, and I knew that for me, that was definitely true. I missed our traditions, and I missed what was.
The great thing about friends and family is they don't let you go through it alone. My house ended up looking like a florist shop. Between my kids and my nieces and nephews and friends, I had multiple vases of flowers, giant teddy bears, more chocolate than I should have considered eating (but did), balloons and cards. And I loved each sentiment from those who cared so much for me that they made sure I felt loved on that day. What a wonderful network of people I have- people that love me and show their love by words and actions.
And as lovely as all that was, in the quiet of my heart was a searing sadness that no flower or card could ever fill. And it's in these moments that my Heavenly Father literally carried me through. He loves me at my best, and He loves me at my worst. I can't ever do anything so terrible that I would lose His love for me. His love is faithful and pure, and has no ulterior motives. He IS love, and He reminded me of this truth through the love of others, and words in scripture. He whispered words of love and hope in my heart when I desperately needed it, and I will be forever grateful for Him.
The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17 ESV
The LORD appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Jeremiah 31:3 ESV
So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 1 John 4:16 ESV
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whosoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for Your faithful love for me. Nothing I can ever do would make You choose to stop loving me. Help me to love others the way You love me. I am thankful, Father, for those that stepped in to show me Your love in my time of need. Help me to do that for others the rest of my days, In Your name I pray, Amen!
But 2/14/18 wasn't like that. It was sad and awkward. If I could have somehow slept through it without waking until 2/15, that would've been great, but that wasn't really fair to my kids, or possible. The day before, I remember getting a text from my husband that it would be a difficult day for us, and I knew that for me, that was definitely true. I missed our traditions, and I missed what was.
The great thing about friends and family is they don't let you go through it alone. My house ended up looking like a florist shop. Between my kids and my nieces and nephews and friends, I had multiple vases of flowers, giant teddy bears, more chocolate than I should have considered eating (but did), balloons and cards. And I loved each sentiment from those who cared so much for me that they made sure I felt loved on that day. What a wonderful network of people I have- people that love me and show their love by words and actions.
And as lovely as all that was, in the quiet of my heart was a searing sadness that no flower or card could ever fill. And it's in these moments that my Heavenly Father literally carried me through. He loves me at my best, and He loves me at my worst. I can't ever do anything so terrible that I would lose His love for me. His love is faithful and pure, and has no ulterior motives. He IS love, and He reminded me of this truth through the love of others, and words in scripture. He whispered words of love and hope in my heart when I desperately needed it, and I will be forever grateful for Him.
The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17 ESV
The LORD appeared to him from far away. I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you. Jeremiah 31:3 ESV
So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 1 John 4:16 ESV
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whosoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7 ESV
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank You for Your faithful love for me. Nothing I can ever do would make You choose to stop loving me. Help me to love others the way You love me. I am thankful, Father, for those that stepped in to show me Your love in my time of need. Help me to do that for others the rest of my days, In Your name I pray, Amen!
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