I've not been feeling exactly like myself, lately. I feel a little messier and a less put together. My nails are a wreck- short, thin and brittle from chipping off my own gel polish. We don't really have any reason to get dressed up or to get our make-up just right. It's a lot of gym clothes and pony tails. It's a "we're stuck in the house, and snacks beckon us", kind of month. Gyms are closed. So while I'm a fan of self care, I've been a little re-miss lately at doing a great job in this department. I know many of my girlfriends feel the same way- a little unpolished and unkempt. And if we aren't careful, this feeling will carry over into our spirit, whispering lies about who we really are and what our true worth is. Can you feel me? Have you felt a little out of sorts during this quarantine way of life?
Self image is an age old ploy of the devil to rob us of how God sees us. And while a little effort is important, it still comes down to one basic bottom line in love- it's a choice. My mind goes to a couple I follow through social media. Two attractive people, married only a few years. A disfiguring accident changed the whole course of their life. She no longer looked beautiful on the outside, at least according to the world's standard of beauty. Her life would now include the need for round the clock care, a wheel chair and diapers. As far as self image- this is a helpless place to live, day in and day out. You can't will yourself to look like you used to, or navigate like you used to- this is the new reality for this lovely couple, and they are ...thriving. How is this possible, given their current state? Again, we go back to the basic truth -love is a choice!
Can you love like this? Selfless. Serving. Exhausting. It's one of the deeper, darker trials of life, and yet it's possible when we understand what love really is. For those of us who have been betrayed in love, it's hard to believe that we could be loved in this way. We may doubt it's possible, but our worth does not rest in who we think we are, or even in who our spouse thinks we are, but rather in who God says we are. And when we understand that God loves us in our lowest state, it should shame us to think of how shallowly we often love others. When Jesus willingly died an excruciating death to save me, out of His great love for me, He set the bar really high for how I'm to love. If I'm honest, I fall short far more often than I hit the mark.
Your words and actions have the power to eradicate doubt and fear in your spouse. We all go through periods of insecurity and we all feel "less than" at some point in our lives. Right now, we are all missing our hair stylists, nail techs and fitness instructors. We may be feeling a little less attractive, but it doesn't change the heart of who we are, or the choice to love through those messier seasons. Let's not listen to the lies that this changes our worth or makes us less worthy of love. Let's heed the call of Scripture that encourages us to build others up, fulfilling a real need in every one of us. One day, hopefully soon, my nails may look better. One day soon, I can get back to my gym routine. But I'm no less today, than I was or will be. Every day, I'm chosen. Every day, I'm loved. Every day, I'm reminded that God found me worth dying for. My circumstances don't change that. And when we love one another in this way, fears and doubts are cast out. And we know- we really know, we will be loved tomorrow.
But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8 (ESV)
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 1 John 4:18 (ESV)
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 (ESV)
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:7 (ESV)
Dear heavenly Father, help us to remember our value does not rest on our outward beauty- but as we read in Your Word, You look in our hearts. May we learn to love like You love, without conditions. And may we learn to listen to what Your Word says about us and not the lies Satan whispers in our ears. May I love my spouse every day- no matter what. In Your Name I pray, Amen!
Has a mess ever made you want to pitch a fit? My mind only has to go back about 15 hours to the last time I felt that way. A well-exercised dog left while we did our "corona virus evening walk" (replacement exercise for our usual gym routine) ended in a terrible mess on my carpet. My daughter was first in the house and promptly came out to warn me and said, "Mom, you're gonna be mad." Honestly- I knew immediately what had happened, yet even that couldn't have prepared me for the state of my floors. Thank goodness for carpet shampooers and some elbow grease. Now- my house isn't quite a temple, but it's our place to enjoy and relax. I like things clean and neat, but I also love that dog!
I've been thinking lately of Jesus when He entered the temple and "threw a fit" (as a good southerner might say). Preceded by cursing a fig tree that didn't produce fruit in its off season, He enters the temple to see it being used for making a profit by some local merchants. This place, expected to uphold the holiness and dignity of a place of worship, had been turned into a "den of thieves". Jesus essentially walked in and said "this doesn't belong here", and began turning over the tables and casting out the money changers.
My body, according to 1 Corinthians 6:19, is a temple of the Holy Spirit. He lives in me, because I belong to Him. If Jesus was angry over things that don't belong in the temple, He has reason to be angry with me. What have I allowed in- and how does it make the Holy Spirit feel? The thing is- I can look like I have it all together on the outside, and be a total mess on the inside. While there was no way for the people to hide from the eyes of others, the filth allowed within the temple walls, it may not be so easy to see inside of me. While I may be able to fool others, God sees straight into my temple.
What mess could use a good cleaning inside of you? Maybe you struggle with pride, pornography, jealousy, or materialism. Maybe you have an addiction or have unconfessed sexual sin. Maybe you are unkind to others in your thoughts. Maybe you have a sharp tongue or a lack of grace toward others. There are so many dust bunnies tumbling around in our temples, and we need to clean them out daily. I don't say this to each of you without acknowledging my own need for some housecleaning. Pride and jealousy come easily for me- so easy, that I am too used to their presence, and don't often realize they are still tumbling around in my temple. And while they seem like regulars in my spirit, they are unwelcome invaders against the Spirit within me.
May I encourage you today to take a few minutes of your time to confess your mess to our Savior? Whatever things you've allowed to dirty up your temple- resolve to remove today. Will it just get dirty again? Likely- because we are human, we will need to practice our temple cleaning on the regular. Just as I would not be comfortable in my own home until that dog mess was removed and cleaned, the Holy Spirit doesn't like living in the mess I allow to junk up His temple. God- open my eyes to the messes I've grown accustomed to, and give me the courage and the help to do some temple cleaning. May my body, Your temple, be a place that glorifies You!
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 1 Corinthians 6:19 (ESV)
For you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. 1 Corinthians 6:20 (ESV)
Put to death what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Colossians 3:5 (ESV)
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Romans 12:1 (ESV)
Dear heavenly Father, help us to keep our temples clean. May our hearts long to remove the things that are contrary to the Spirit within us. Only then can we enjoy complete fellowship with Your Son. In Your name we pray, Amen!
"What do you do?", they ask. It always seems to come up in conversation with new people you meet. There are a few terms generally given for an answer- things like stay-at-home mom, homemaker or a housewife. But oh how I've learned how the word "just" doesn't belong in my answer- and it doesn't belong in yours either. Whatever you do, you do wholeheartedly for the Lord (Colossians 3:23). There is no room for "just" - especially when we are answering the call to work within our homes full-time. As I've journeyed through approximately 24 years of being at home, I've chalked up a pretty extensive repertoire of expertise. Now I don't claim to be perfect in what I do- far from it! But I've learned a lot along the way, and can honestly say that should my presence be permanently removed from my home, the impact would be huge. Often times, it's then that our efforts and work is most noticed and missed. I don't believe my husband or kids take me for granted, but I do think they are somewhat unaware of the responsibilities that fall on a wife and a mom. So today, my post is not only for my fellow housewives, but also for those who wonder what we do with all of our time.
Our duties and tasks are many. We vacuum, dust, clean bathrooms, clean the kitchen, organize closets and cabinets. We wash and fold clothes. We shop for groceries and make sure everyone has their favorite foods available. We prepare nutritious meals for our families and are in tune with what people prefer. We often are responsible for doing the family books, and try to keep our budget in check, looking for ways to save money. We look for sales, coupons and other ways to reduce expenses. We buy family gifts. We plan birthday parties and other family celebrations. We raise our children- this also comes with a large laundry list of responsibilities. We are chaperones and taxi drivers. We volunteer at the school. We mold the minds of our children. We get our kids ready for school and church and pack the lunchboxes. We go on field trips. We are holiday hostesses. We open our doors to family and friends. We do a lot of the planning for vacations and make reservations for date nights. We entertain. We schedule appointments. We pick up cleaning or run to the bank. We put effort into our physical appearance. We are usually responsible for the family pets- their care, feeding, vet visits and potty breaks. We make our husband and kids feel loved and cared for. We send encouraging notes and always seem to be their biggest cheerleaders (because we are). We feed ourselves spiritually so that we are the best wife and mom that we can possibly be. And so much more- and yet we often feel like what we don't just isn't enough. And sometimes, we feel like we are "just a housewife!"
Sweet sisters- we are answering a call for the ministry God has for us in our homes. Not all of us have the privilege of being able to do this, but for those of us who do, we are doing exactly what God has for us. We are changing lives. We are making a difference. We are building up treasure in heaven. We are a vital presence in the walls of our homes- transforming it from being simply a house, to being "home". A place where the people we love feel safe, valued, treasured, cared for, and so very loved. I appreciate women who are out there doing their thing in the work force, but man I hope we can see the tremendous gift of those who choose to remain in the home. Somedays, there will be those who look down on what we do. I'll never forget being talked about with distain for my "just staying-at-home" self by someone else. I can't tell you how hurtful those words were to hear, even though they could never understand my life or the way I live it. But I've had to remind myself that those were words spoken in jealousy and insecurity, and they are completely untrue. God has me where He wants me, and that is exactly where I need to be.
If you ever struggle with feeling like you aren't enough- simply because you work inside your home, don't believe it for a minute. God values what we do. He sees our work and He knows our hearts. He has given us a big responsibility within the walls of our own homes. Let's do this work with passion, love and a commitment to those He has called us to serve. When we are serving our husbands and our children, we are also serving Christ. This is the work He has entrusted to us- serving these gifts of our dearest loved ones. Our presence gives great comfort to the ones we are caring for, all while storing up heavenly treasure. So, the next time you're asked what you do- stand up a little straighter and never use "just" when you tell of how you are doing the best job of all- changing the lives of the ones you love the most!
An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. Proverbs 31:10 (ESV)
And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:4-5 (ESV)
She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. Proverbs 31:16 (ESV)
Dear heavenly Father, we thank You for the work You have given us to do within our homes. While not everyone has the blessing of doing what we do, we are thankful for this gift of serving those in our homes. Help us to do our work with a willing and loving heart, and to remember the value You see in what we are called to do. In Your name we pray, Amen!
One summer, on the way back from a seven day cruise, my sister's family and ours decided we didn't want our summer vacation to be over, so we made a detour to Jekyll Island. We had passed signs for the island many times, and thought it could be a fun place to crash an extra day or two. The internet picture of the place we chose to stay, looked wonderful. With excited kids, and happy adults, we made the exit to our extended stay. Upon arrival to the actual island, we started to feel a little skeptical. But when we pulled into our hotel, things slowly got stranger and stranger. You know how you get a weird vibe sometimes? Well, that was the case here in Jekyll Island. From the biting flies, the rocky beach, and the really strange hotel, we decided to leave. It wasn't what we had hoped for, and so we packed up our stuff, our kids, and hit the road for a Hampton Inn. Not what we planned, and certainly not fancy, but we just didn't want to stay in Jekyll.
Relationships can be a lot like this. We have high hopes as we head into it, and then feel disappointed when we realize it isn't what we thought it would be. She wasn't as fun and carefree, and he wasn't as structured or driven. He wasn't a saver, and she wasn't an optimist. She wasn't as skinny, and he wasn't as stylish. The truth is, we all put on our best front in the beginning, but it's just that- a front. Inside, we are all broken, and we all have our share of struggles. Our world would tell us to move on, to find someone else, to get a divorce. But most often, the answer won't be there either. A new relationship or marriage will have its own set of challenges, and you'll be faced with the same decision: go, or stay.
Now let's be clear from the beginning: I am not condoning a person to stay in an abusive marriage or relationship of any nature. There are some character traits that will need change in order to safely remain. These circumstances are not the point of my blog post today. What I am talking about, is the ability to recognize our tendencies to run when things don't go the way we planned. Some marriages will face some pretty big obstacles: the death of a family member, infidelity, addiction, mental health issues, a serious illness, financial struggles, and many others. What will you do when your marriage faces a crisis? Many times, we feel it's easier to run, than to face the situation we find ourselves in. I want to encourage any who are feeling this way today to simply reconsider.
Relationships are hard, and there's no getting around that truth. The only perfect Person to have walked this earth was Jesus- all the rest of us are simply going to mess up. Satan will try to convince us there is someone better suited for us. He will try to make you believe you deserve something better. But at the very core of christianity, is the story of grace. Undeserved grace. Something we receive each day from God's heart, and not a one of us deserves it. If Jesus was our earthly example of how to love, then we will choose to love, even when it's hard. And just as He always is with us and promises not to leave, so we should do the same with our spouse. You can leave- but you'll soon discover the flaws in the next person you choose to love.
Marriage vows are serious promises. They are much more serious than a side trip to Jekyll Island. Somedays, staying is hard. Somedays, you'll almost listen to the lies that there is a better plan for you. There is joy in choosing grace in face of our spouse's shortcomings and failures. Encourage good change in their lives when it's needed, and recognize that you're also often in need of change yourself. Decide to fight for one another, and not against each other. You can overcome the obstacles that stand in the way of your marriage with whatever tools are necessary to achieve victory. God will fight for your marriage along with you. Leaving isn't the answer- by God's grace, choose to stay. Stay when it's easy, and stay when it's hard. Learn to love like Jesus- without conditions. Loving this way will always have a cost, but it will also reap benefits beyond what you see in this moment. Ask God today for the power to stay, and watch what He will do for you!
So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6 (ESV)
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 (ESV)
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 (ESV)
Dear heavenly Father, help me to be characterized by forgiveness and steadfastness. Help my marriage be one that honors You. We thank You for the example of love that You've shown us in Your Son. Help us to mirror that kind of love in our marriages. In Your name we pray, Amen!
Sometimes life is hard because I want my own way and I forget about serving others. The popular way of the world is to make myself happy, and to be honest, I often buy into this mindset, even while having the best of intentions not to. I want it all- that perfect husband, perfect life, and perfect marriage, and since that can never happen in an imperfect world, I can find myself discouraged and restless. Have you been there, friend? Do you often find yourself doing more wishing than being simply grateful for what is?
There isn't a better time than now to do a little soul searching in life. Amid the chaos and unrest resulting from Covid19, we've been given something many of us normally run short on- time to reflect. While we won't have a normal Easter this coming weekend, the basic truths of why we celebrate it can't be changed by circumstances. And when I think of the cost of my own spiritual freedom and eternal life, I feel ashamed of this constant pursuit of wanting. Because at the core of my spirit, I am honestly never truly satisfied when I'm hungering for things of this world. I'll never have enough. I'll always yearn for more if I lose sight of this simple truth: only Christ can satisfy.
It's not wrong to have dreams and goals. It's not wrong to want a better life for our family. It's not wrong to want a home and a good marriage. But it is wrong to make my life about pursuing "things" over pursuing Jesus. And if I'm honest, I often find myself failing here. I find myself feeling jealous of people that can travel the world, wear a size zero (like, does that mean they don't exist?), live on the tropical shores of the Caribbean, and never worry about bills. This part of me isn't who I wish to be, and it shows a lack of gratefulness for the blessings God has given me!
And so it's time for me to do a little focus shifting, as I think of the sacrifice of Jesus at Calvary. He went willingly to the cross to die for my sins. He suffered and paid the price in order to redeem me. He laid down His own life out of a love greater than any I could ever understand. And on the third day, He rose from the dead- claiming victory over the grave. And then, then.. He asks us to remember Him. To serve Him. And He taught us how to do that as He washed the dirty feet of His disciples. We can serve Him when we serve others. And that's where I often get turned around in life, because I'm serving me instead of my husband. I'm serving me over my church family. I want my own way instead of His way. And that's not how it's supposed to be.
If you're possibly also struggling at times in life to feel truly satisfied, the answers are likely the same- we are too focused on ourselves to appreciate what we have already been given. And I'll be the first to say I'm ashamed that it's true of me. So today, I'll choose to see the great things I have: a loving, caring, hard-working husband. Kids that love me and love Jesus. A home that while beautiful on the outside, is also a warm and inviting place to hang my hat. And this is just a smaller part of the countless blessings I enjoy. But the biggest blessing of all is what we are about to celebrate- my own redemption from what our Lord accomplished at Calvary. When I slow down and take time to really reflect, I'm much less restless and so much more thankful. I realize how easily I get sucked into the mentality of our world, and I feel shame. Dear Jesus, help me to have eyes that see like You see. A heart that loves and serves like You did. Because when I do, I'll see the beauty all around me, and forsake the foolish pursuit of satisfying myself.
Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. 1 Corinthians 10:24 (ESV)
For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things. Psalm 107:9 (ESV)
Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4 (ESV)
Dear heavenly Father, forgive me for so often seeking to satisfy my own flesh and desires, and miss the blessings You have given me. Help me to learn from Your own example, the life of serving others. May I remember, each day, how satisfaction will never be found outside of You. In Your name I pray, Amen!
I don't know about you, but I've been missing my freedom lately. With the restrictions this virus has placed upon us, I've never spent so many consecutive days at home. I love my home, and it's a place I enjoy spending time, but lately I feel a little like a prisoner inside these 4 walls. I'm thankful for the time with family, and I'm thankful for the efforts of our government to keep us safe. But these restrictions have opened my eyes to what it must feel like to live a life of restrictions- either by government structure, or even as a prisoner.
Freedom is something every Christian enjoys when the shackles of our sin are removed through the gift of salvation. Our sin is heavy, and wears us down. Just as we feel an emotional weight when we wish to be forgiven in one of our earthly relationships, the same is true before we are set free from the guilt of our sin. There is something so freeing when we hear those sweet words from someone we hurt : "I forgive you!" We immediately feel lighter and more at peace. This is the feeling we experience when we received forgiveness from our Savior- a burden too heavy for words was lifted as a result of His mercy and grace.
It's hard to return to bondage after freedom. I can't imagine the feelings of those who for short time, escaped from the evil power of Nazi rule, only to be captured once again. For most, it would've meant certain death for them, but at best, a return to the worst imaginable life of bondage in a concentration camp. Their return to bondage wasn't voluntary- they would have never chosen to go back, yet we often willingly return to bondage when we misuse our freedom in Christ, leading us back to sin's shackles.
Scripture reminds us of the danger of returning to the lifestyle of the lost after salvation. We are essentially putting on filthy garments and shackles, after being clean and set free. It makes no sense, this desire to return to this unhealthy spiritual state, and yet we often do. In my own life experience, I've seen it play out in my marriage. After enjoying decades of living a godly and fulfilling married life, sinful flesh took over and corrupted what was. While it may initially feel like freedom to forsake the "bondage" of marriage and pursue worldly passion, it is actually a return to Satan's control in our decisions and choices. The result of returning to a lifestyle of bondage to sin, will always hurt people.
While our freedom is feeling a little compromised at present, it's a good time to take stock of how we are doing spiritually. Are we living free, or are we returning to the shackles that once held us in the past? Freedom in Christ does not mean that we get to do what we want, but rather a freedom we experience through His gift of salvation, releasing us from Satan's captivity. It frees us from the ultimate price of sin- hell for eternity. While our earthly freedom may be subject to circumstances, government and yes- even a virus, our spiritual freedom can never be taken from us. And that, to me, is the best news ever!
For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would have been better for them never to have known the way of righteousness than after knowing it to turn back from the holy commandment delivered to them. What the true proverb says has happened to them: "The dog returns to its own vomit, and the sow, after washing herself, returns to wallow in the mire." 2 Peter 2:20-22 (ESV)
Dear heavenly Father, we thank You for the freedom You have given us, and acknowledge the great cost it was to You- the blood of Your Son, Jesus, shed for us on the cross of Calvary. Help us to remember the danger of returning to bondage after receiving Your precious gift of freedom. In Your name we pray, Amen!
She was sick, and getting sicker by the day. As she awaited news from the doctor about her diagnosis, she worried. How would they pay for treatment? Would they lose everything they had worked for after so many decades of making a secure life for their family? Would they have to file bankruptcy in order for her to receive treatment if the diagnosis was indeed cancer? For most of her life, they talked about faith, and how God would take care of them no matter what happened. And so insurance seemed like a joke- a display of trusting in an insurance company, and not God. Until now. Now, she wasn't so sure.
This scenario plays out in many various ways, but the same principle holds true- faith without preparation. I am a firm believer in faith, and know that God can do the impossible. In fact, He has done the impossible for me many times over, so I've personally experienced the truth of it. That said, I also firmly believe that God wants us to prepare with good sense. We should be responsible with what He has entrusted us with, and make choices that will help us when we are in trouble.
The situation our world is facing right now is one that calls us to both faith, and preparedness. Faith that God is in control, and always has been. Faith that He will is my Helper and Friend. Faith that He will work all things out for good- because scripture promises us this. But we also want to be prepared. Being prepared doesn't necessarily mean we buy all the toilet paper, but it is wise to make preparations for the unknown circumstances of our immediate future. And it always helps to know that while the future isn't known by us, it is known by Him. And so we have this constant balance of faith and preparation- a mix that gives security to our families, and a hope to the anxious soul.
This situation made me think of the Israelites, and how they faced the same balance. The Lord provided for their daily needs in the wilderness by giving them fresh manna each day (a small, round, white substance they used to bake bread). They were to only collect what they needed for that day, yet some of them felt greedy and lacked faith that He would provide the next day, so they took more than their share. What happened to the excess? It rotted, and was useless. Their disobedience to gather more than they needed ended up in a smelly basket of rotten manna. Did God want them to prepare? Yes, but He also wanted them to obey and trust Him to provide for their needs the next day as well.
The purpose of this post isn't to scold anyone for buying more than our daily needs, but rather to remind us of the importance of both preparing for the future, and believing that God is in control. 100 rolls of toilet paper won't eliminate the fact that I still need God. We can, and should prepare, but we still need God every second of every day. Whether we are in times of plenty, or leaner times, God wants us to trust Him- yet all while being wise. This is true in our marriages, our careers, our home life, our parenting- every single sphere! So while this virus can cause us to feel uncertain and fearful, we can choose to push away the fear and allow our faith to lead us to a better place. We will do what we can to prepare for tomorrow, trusting that God will be there, just as He's here today. And sometimes, this is just the faith exercise that I need to remember Who He is, and witness His great power in not only my own life, but the whole world.
Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise. Without having any chief, officer, or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest. Proverbs 6:6-8 (ESV)
That your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God. 1 Corinthians 2:5 (ESV)
I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 (ESV)
Dear heavenly Father, we thank You for providing for us, and for seeing to our needs. We ask for forgiveness for our oftentimes lack of faith, and pray that even in this time, our faith would be increased. May we not only witness Your power, but may others see it in me. In Your name we pray, Amen!
